Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy help me be ok with a grade skip

First day of school. When I asked DS7 how was school, he said, "Good. I loved seeing my friends. Can I just go to 4th grade next year? It's not like I'm going to learn anything this year." (He's in 2nd.)

I know it's the right thing to do. I have been waiting for him to ask. Yet, I am so resistant. We've basically been stalling with DS at his school for the grade skip. But it's so very needed. How can I feel better about it?

My DD is in the first week of a 2nd -> 4th grade skip. So far, so good (God willing, long may it last).

I searched high and low for negative cases and didn't really find any. This site has a lot of useful information as does Hoagie's. The clincher for me was doing the IOWA scale assessment which takes a number of variables into account and finding that DD was a prime candidate for the skip beyond just the academics. I for one really needed to be convinced that it was a safe thing to try. I cannot say for sure that this has or hasn't 'worked for the better' but DD is very positive thus far...

Why not put him in 3rd right now?

Apart from waiting for him to ask, which is valid, what is holding you back? That might help us reassure. My middle child is 18months+ into a skip and I am so glad we did it, socially, emotionally, academically.

By the time my son was in 4th, he didn't want to do it. If I were you, and he's asking for it, I would see about skipping to 3rd now.

Six days into the skip to third; so far, so OK. Biggest concern so far is the wasted time on pre-testing, but they discussed the scientific method and cell stuctures last week, and he was so fired up to explain the importance of ATP to me.

My issues:
1. totally selfish - I don't want DS leaving home 1 year earlier. That's so hard for me to swallow. I know people say the child may take a gap year. But how can anyone really predict what your child is going to do in 10 years?
2. is my child really that capable? Basically, I am projecting imposter syndrome on my child.
3. Will skipping a year actually reduce his accomplishments and the things that go with them (ex. scholarships), because there will be more capable kids in his new grade?
4. will my DS be upset about the skip when he is older?

BTW, I did the IOWA scale at home. He is an excellent candidate.

5. If we just in a much better school right now, we wouldn't have to skip. Should we just fork over the money and send him to the much better school now?

With most of your points I would say - not skipping is not a neutral choice, it's easier to ignore potential consequences, but (for example) what if he achieves less because he switches off? What if he resents you not skipping him?

With #5 I totally relate. I am holding out hope to be able to send my HG DD to a private school by yr5. Right now I feel like she needs a second skip to be instruction at her level at our local public, but I am pretty certain she would not need that skip at the private school, so much so that if she does go private for 5th we may need to reverse a second skip... That's tricky. And it's absolutely not an option for us to just send her now.

OK, this gets my attention! Thank you!