Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional First day of school - No one's read the IEP...

I guess I am going to start typing out an email here soon... DS is sitting in the back row of the room - even though I made sure to mention to her when we met that he NEEDS to sit up front.

And, to add to my stress level I'm seriously annoyed about my after-school situation. I wanted to hire a nanny, but then suddenly my father-in-law decided to retire and said he wanted to do it. So, we agreed, we'd pay him to take care of the kids instead of hunting down a nanny... The first two days of school he's taken them to fast food joints after picking them up and let them eat junk (french fries and shakes and m&m's!) and play in the play areas. *sigh* And homework wasn't completed, so I got to help DS scramble around to finish that at 6:30am this morning. And my husband said he dropped the kids off at the house super early while he was still working on phone calls. ARG. I had a bad feeling about having a family member fill this role. I do not want to have to "manage" my father-in-law!

Epoh--how frustrating. Probably this has occurred to you already but it sounds like your FIL is not wanting to do the serious stuff-- just maybe spend more fun time with the kids. There might be room then to hire a nanny for the serious stuff (eg homework, healthy snacks, and taking care of the kids until the end of the work day) and have FIL do something fun for an hour or so a couple of times a week or whatever (or taking them for fun stuff on a weekend for a few hours to give you a rest!). Whatever you decide, good luck!

My mom was a big influence on my parenting style, in that I often ask myself, "What would my mom have done in this situation?", and then do the opposite. But when we needed a nanny when DW decided to go to school, and DD was only about 6-8 months old, my mom stepped in, and it worked out wonderfully for all involved.

DW and I are huge proponents of consistency, and so, before we ever agreed to let her watch DD, I had a frank talk with my mom in which I indicated that the only way this could possibly work is if she got on board and did things OUR way. She did.

Every day we'd talk endlessly about every detail of DD's life, and how we react. I could also tell when something was going on that was different, because DD would indicate it with her behavior. For example, I remember her sitting up at the entertainment center, slapping her hands on the glass doors, and looking at me like, "Hey, do you see me? I'm hitting this. What are you going to do about it?" So I asked my mom, who told me she'd told her not to, and I said we just let her, she can't break the glass.

I suggest it would be a good idea for your DH to have a similar conversation with his father, and the sooner, the better.

My mom was a big influence on my parenting style, in that I often ask myself, "What would my mom have done in this situation?", and then do the opposite.

LOL-- glad I'm not the only one.

This is great advice. You can even tell him she's the "homework manager" and he's the "child care" if you like...

DeeDee

Well, unfortunately money is a big part of this situation (and a major part of why it all makes me feel "icky".)

F-in-L needs the extra income from this (or from some other job) in order to make ends meet. DH and I are happy to help out, but we cannot afford to pay him AND a nanny... so I'm going to do my best to make this work.

First step - I went to Sam's a bought a bunch of healthy after school snacks for him to provide to the kids when he picks them up!

My mom did childcare for my sister for 5 years. They actually signed a contract on the arrangement. It seemed a little odd at first, but I think both were really smart to do it. I think it was a really low-key thing, but it did establish the boundaries of the relationship.

I feel kind of like I'm turning into "that parent." The annoying and nagging one, lol.

I emailed the Spec Ed teacher Monday about the IEP, and she confirmed she'd given it out on Friday and was going to meet with the teachers to make sure it was being implemented.... and then today I just emailed her to find out when the heck DS is actually going to begin RECEIVING SERVICES! He's supposed to receive 100mins/week of time with the Spec Ed teacher... preferably broken up into 20mins/day at the end of each day. I don't want to be a hardass, but they are legally out of compliance at the moment, correct? He's not even set foot in the resource room since school started. And he is supposed to receive an hour every two weeks with an LPC for his anxiety, of which I've heard zilch.

Let's get it together peoples!

Be "that parent," epoh! Be friendly, firm, and treat them like professionals, but be vigilant. And then say thank you to the people who step up.

But yikes, it's not like anxiety is at a minimum at the start of the school year or anything, right? I hope you can get him going asap!

Document, document, document. I find it really effective to refer to "your email/ our conversation 12:50 pm on August 26" when sending another email, as it shows them that I'm not only paying attention, but I'm keeping a record.

Yeah, I'm doing my best to be patient, but he really should have been going to the resource room since day one. ESPECIALLY on day one. Because it was fucking craziness... he told me later that night he had gotten very "worried" because he wasn't sure where he was supposed to go at the end of the day. We got that sorted, but I was irritated it happened at all.