Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion That's Totally Lame, Mom

DS4.5 likes playing Minecraft on the Kindle. He likes watching Spongebob.

Everything else in the entire world is totally lame. That's a bit of an exaggeration, but it's how I feel a lot.

He's good when he plays with friends, but he's not great at playing alone and everything I come up with is maybe fun for 2 minutes. I've got more than 300 things pinned on pinterest and it seems like none of them will work on him.

Anyone else with a kid like this?

I feel like part of it is related to perfectionism. For example, we had markers and crayons out yesterday and I was all, "Can you draw a creeper?" and he was excited for a second, until he realized he wouldn't be able to do a good job, then said, "You do it mom." and wouldn't even try.

I might try 10 different things to spark some interest and only one of them gets a marginal glance. But when he's into one thing, he'll back off if I try to help him go further.

I recently read about project-based learning and I'm going to do my best to find things that relate to the interests he *does* have, but sometimes I'm just at a loss.
I think part of it

My kids are totally into Minecraft, too. So I understand the concern about wanting them to do something "real life." But what's wrong with telling him his screen time is up and he needs to find something to do?

Can he come up with a list of things and refer to it, rather than putting the responsibility on you to entertain him? Legos are a good substitute for building on Minecraft. At that age, in addition to legos, my boys also made 3-d villages out of paper, they would create popcycle stick structures and also just plain make forts around the house. We also have all kinds of building games-- from styrofoam creatures and magnetic pieces to giant cardboard blocks.

I do have the benefit of twins, who can entertain each other, but I rarely helped them with legos or other projects.

My vote is to let him figure it out.

I think overall it sounds ok! He likes Minecraft, so I'm guessing he'd also like Legos, K'nex, building things. He plays well with friends, so let him have lots of playdates. He likes Spongebob, which maybe isn't terribly academic but my kids have always benefited (jmo) from having a cartoon they loved that they could relax and laugh at. Really he sounds like a typical and well-adjusted 4.5 year old boy.

Long before my oldest was much more than 3 I had this vision of no electronics ever for entertainment and having all sorts of cool arts and crafts projects and science experiments etc to entertain my kids. I'll admit I was not rolled at all when my ds discovered Minecraft! But it turned out to be a phase, and it also really did provide him with a lot of fun creating his Minecraft things. I am not sure you'd want to know what replaced Minecraft, but he's gone through a series of two other computer games that are similar in that they involve building and creating and honestly, they are pretty darn cool and definitely more mind-stimulating than the computer games I like to play lol. We limit his screen time and he has other things he enjoys doing, but really none of my kids have ever spent much time doing the projects I'd picked out for them - they tend to find their own! FWIW my Minecraft ds loved K'Nex and Legos at your ds' age. He also used to just build things out of Inge that weren't toys - just things and the house. Later on through school and clubs he became really interested in robotics and things like that. Actually now that I think of it, he wasn't much older than your ds when we got him a Legos Robot kit.

Anyway, I'm not sure there's much to be concerned with. If you're wishing *you* had more play time with him, does he like to go on hikes or Nike rides etc? Those are some of the things I do with my ds.

Best wishes,

polarbear

So grab an old computer, take it apart, explain what the pieces do and the evolution of the computer....and maybe build a new one together.

I am really lucky to have kids who rarely say they are bored. However, I've noticed DS has a much harder time finding something he finds fun after playing MC for a long time; that's when I often hear him complaining of boredom (and no, rarely can I come up with an activity he's interested in.)

While I'm definitely not an anti-computer game mom, I do sometimes worry that they make things too easy. Creating in MC is pretty easy, as far as I can tell. Creating in real life takes more time and effort, and doesn't always garner the results you were hoping for. After the excitement and ease of creating in MC, I can see how the real world would seem difficult and flat.

I can definitely see how the world outside of MC would be particularly disappointing to a perfectionist child. He gets these great ideas for drawing (creeper, etc.), but at 4.5 his drawing skills are not what he wants them to be -- heck, at ten times that, my drawing skills are not what I would like them to be! I know all too well the crushing disappointment of art class when the picture just wouldn't come out the way it looked in my head. In MC, he probably has wicked skillz and can make things the way he wants them.

I have two kids like that. The world is lame.

Perhaps the book Simplicity Parenting might be helpful?

Have him watch the short film Caine's Arcade (on you tube or you can google it and find his website).

Caine is about ready to close down his arcade and start a new business...Caine's Bike Shop.

I think that some of the problem arises when the "find something to do" is always reading, watching TV/movies, or computer games.

oh, this is the greatest thing! we have only the one kid, so showing her that alone-time is a wonderful thing was a big priority. i think we started when she was about 2 - and it was quite difficult at first, she was very resistant.

however... she now will choose to hang out alone and sometimes it's actually quite hard to pull her out of her room when she's really got going on something. i'm not really sure what she was doing in the early years - probably colouring or mazes, but lately (she's now 5) she's been making these unbelievable structures out of paper & tape (Hogwarts castle and a model of ex vivo lungs, complete with balloons you can inflate with a pair of straws). it's the coolest stuff and it gets more sophisticated and detailed every day.

so, like MoN... we are all in favour of boredom around here!