Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Not Even Two, What can I do?

I believe my son is Gifted. A few things he can do?

-Count to 30 with no mistakes
-Recognizes Numbers up to 100
-Knows all his shapes, including the weird ones like Trapezoid and Rhombus
-Knows his Alphabet, and can spell basic 3 letter words, car etc.
-Knows all his colors
-Will point out shapes and colors of street signs when we drive, and will point out the arrows.
-Will take EVERYTHING apart, it scares me.

He can do more, but those really stand out.

He also shows, I don't know how to describe them other than OCD tendencies. He can't stand doors open. Any door! He has to close it. He has to line everything up, usually big to small or all the colors together, blue with blue, etc... He hates being dirty and will wipe his face in between bites of food on his napkin.

He is such a polite smart little boy and when we go out in public people are amazed. But I have no other child for comparison.

I work diligently with him to help him continue learning. I know he is intelligent, but is he gifted? Or is that normal for 20 mths?

HELP!!!

Sounds normal ... for around here!

Try and keep up with his interests, give him lots of books, and see where he's leading you.

Look into schools and learn everything you can about gifted education in your area now, so you'll be ready when the time comes.

Most important, don't let people give him a big head about how smart he is and how amazing it is that he can do all that stuff. Try and instill an attitude of how good it feels to work hard on something, rather than to be able to do something. Perfectionism rears its ugly head early, and it sounds like you have the makings of it there already -- and when one is accustomed to knowing everything, it's a hard fall to discover that there are things one doesn't automatically know. That leads straight to "why bother" and laziness and depression and lack of work ethic and lack of self-esteem.

If I had realized all of that with my son when he was the age of yours, we might have averted some problems -- and it should have been blindingly obvious to me, because it's exactly what happened to me as a child. But it's hard to show the fish the water.

Someone will undoubtedly come by here with some good book recommendations for you, and some lovely advice. You're in the right place. Enjoy the ride!

That is a terrific idea, Portia. I'm going to steal it for DS19mo who becomes easily frustrated with the disconnect between his thoughts and manual dexterity.

ETA: I'm not keen on the toxicity of PVC, but did find a PVC-inspired pipe toy online made of polypropylene. (http://www.konstruktubes.com/about.htm)

He has such a little temper, I never thought to associate that with him not having the manual dexterity to do what he wants. He gets so angry when he tries a couple times and can't do it. We are working on asking for help instead of getting so angry and abandoning whatever he has been doing. I love the pvc pipe idea! He also has no idea how to play with other kids. He would rather play alone or watch them, instead of getting in there and running around. It makes me sad. He will sit there and watch them and say "Friends" Is that weird?

It's pretty self evident that your child is well ahead of his years and I'm certain that you'll adjust with the help of others the academic portion of his education. My suggestion is to balance that with social / emotional development. That portion of his development is typically what gives gifted children just as many challenges in school as does the academic portion. Most all kids of frequent members here have their quirks certainly including mine. The acceptance among peers is difficult enough with a large intellect separation, avoid the additional social / emotional separation by working on that early as well.

MrsAugustine, thanks for starting this thread!

Portia, terrific feedback. I'm all ears.

I am so glad I found this page, you are all so insightful. I had no idea what I was working with, and the Dr. has always thought he was smart but has never had any concerns. He thinks I expect too much from such a young child. I don't think I expect too much, I work along side him at his pace. He has such a high capacity to learn. I just don't say, "Hey, this isn't age appropriate.." or "He is too young to know..." But, I have no other kids to compare him to. He doesn't go to daycare. I am just glad that I can talk to you guys, and get a different insight. I think it might be time to get a new Dr. and have a few tests done. Thank again guys!

The testing is expensive. The cheapest you can find is a couple hundred dollars if you get it done at the psychology dept. at a University. The money for testing is often better spent on education, toys, or taking a family trip. Most people pay for testing when there's more than just the information of tge number to get from it, such as enterence into a program.
Also, I don't know that you necessarily have to switch doctors. Technically they're the doctor and you're the parent so even if they don't see your childs personality like you do or would make the parenting choices that you do, as long as they are competent at their job, which is to treat your childs health, then you can agree to disagree. Of course if you're not happy you can shop around for a different doctor.
At around two I started teaching my kids handwriting lessons using Kumon tracing (like mazes for toddlers), then Kumon alphabet games. I put crayons and paper in their hands as infants. I used the Kumon with them as toddlers, showing them how to use a fat marker and follow my finger through the mazes because a marker writes smoother than a pencil. To each their own and some people said it was wrong to teach a child so young formally but I thought it would be less frusterating as they grow if they could easily express themselves. Many toddlers also like Starfall online if you like electronics for young kids.

Just wanted to forewarn you not to be put off if you are asked several autism diagnostic questions at your well-visits. Our paediatrician seemed to be screening for it around 12 months based on DS' precocity, but has since concluded that DS is neurotypical and just lightening fast.

Welcome to the forum!