Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Food Issues

Having a few foods (eg, mushrooms) that you dislike is one thing, but being the kind of person who can't eat out except at a few tpyes of restaurant or who can't roll with what he/she is served while a guest, traveling, etc can really be a problem. It could even limit you in the employment world. I have known people like this and it seems hobbling to me.

Whicb is not to say a child will be like this as an adult if he/she is limited in diet at 3, 5, 10, even 16. I also know a lot of former picky eaters who now eat broadly.

I was forced to eat everything and I am now extremely fussy as an adult. In the same way that I was forbidden from wearing black or having long hair; once I became an adult I only wear black and I have very long hair.

I would hate to be forced to eat something that I hate. I feel that children deserve the same respect. I can't pick at my food, but then tell my kids that they can't do the same. Children should have rights, too.

As for job prospects, that reminds me of the teachers that tell be you shouldn't grade skip because in ten years' time he'll be the only kid without a license. And child-led eating isn't going to lead to OCD about food. From experience, force-feeding definitely has, for me. I am the one that only eats at three restaurants.

Dinner guests? A good host should find out what you like. And being vegetarian is harder for others to deal with than me not liking 90% of food lol.

ABSOLUTELY.

I say that as parent to someone who truly-- cannot do those things.

To not worry about "will not" seems kind of crazy to me, honestly. I get food aversions. I do. I have a few of my own. But being intolerant of even being served some things on that basis is... (IMO) unnecessarily limiting.

I know a great many adults (the majority, in fact, of white collar people) whose employment requires the ability to roll with group dining decisions (restaurant choices, etc).

Flexibility here is a good thing. Something to be cultivated (note that I do not say "forced" because this is a power struggle that a parent cannot win) and not ignored, for sure.

ETA: I truly wish people would NOT conflate allergy with preferences or even aversions, and they do it all.the.time. For DD, I don't cater to her complete loathing of mushrooms the same way I do her food allergens, and I don't ask others to, either. She can deal with it politely and unobtrusively, IMO.

I mention this only because the human tendency is to get fatigued with special food requests...

Consider the sheer number of food quirks in a group of just 6 or 7 people, and a "good" host might be left thinking "no tomatoes, mushrooms, garlic, onions, pasta, hot/spicy, soy, seafood, cauliflower, chocolate, nothing fried, must have vegetarian and low-carb options, oh and one kid only eats PB+J."

Assume for a moment that ONE of those people has a life-threatening allergy... to garlic.

So from my own perspective, all of the additional "noise" there makes error far more likely. Most people without personal experience of food allergy assume that they're all just preferences, or that traces are fine.

My son is very picky about what he eats but he is willing to drink fruit smoothies, eat apples and take a multivitamin and fish oil daily so I don't worry too much about it.

My DS9 (PDD-NOS) has some food issues, but we've long had a rule in our house that you must at least TRY what's on your plate. If, after I see you've tried a particular food more than once, and still didn't like it, that's fine, I won't make you eat that. My son doesn't do squash or tomatoes... and that's fine. But he's learned over time that he likes shellfish, crab, lobster, steak, spinach, ranch style beans, lima beans (!!) and several other things that were initially described as "gross" without tasting.

We grew up with some crazy strict rules around eating (always, always finish your plate!) that I don't think were beneficial. I mean, I didn't discover just how badly I react to dairy until this last year because I'd been forced to ingest it for so long I thought my symptoms were just normal. As a result, I don't want to push screwed up eating habits onto my kids. I want mealtimes to be enjoyable, not stressful. So, the taste rule is, literally, the only rule we have around eating. It's gone really well so far.

So what do I do with my own picky-picky eater?

I keep the supply of 'preferred' foods at a low-subsistence level at best, and I provide the things that I wish she'd eat.

I also make pointed comments about dietary choices which are "healthy" or "unhealthy" (as opposed to good/bad).

I also try two or three different recipes of any particular food that seems healthy/worth cultivating as a choice, and

I am not a short-order chef. I make what I make, and I make it to meet the health needs of our household, and sometimes its preferences.

Not everyone here likes the same things, though, and I'm not going to avoid Dad's favorite foods just because DD won't eat them.

I was a picky eater as a kid. I still don't like a lot of the stuff I didn't like then. Some things (e.g. mayonnaise) make me throw up and other things give me sharp stomach ache (rare meat). Etc.

So I understand why some people don't want to eat certain foods. I also respect the idea that someone just doesn't like something.

I also understand that kids can be reticent to try something for arbitrary reasons. In our house, we have a rule that says you have to try it. If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it.

So I don't make my kids eat things they don't like, and I also don't make one thing for everyone. If mughlai chicken is on the menu but kid x doesn't like it, we'll give kid x an omelette or something he likes that's also easy to make. My goal is well-fed kids, not what amounts to a power struggle.

We let our son try it once when he asked about it. We don't drink soda much (like once a month) and he was curious.

He doesn't like the sensation (maybe he is texture adverse?) and I'm glad of it. Empty calories; and I'd rather he drink 100% fruit juice if he wants a sweet drink. He knows to ask at parties if there is "fizz" in a drink before accepting, so the conversation about food issues affecting social situations is interesting. I certainly don't want him to be perceived as a "pain" invitee, so I tell him to ask for "water, please."

Can you believe I've seen mothers open up a can of soda (I call it that, but some call it pop in US depending on location) and unscrew a baby bottle, fill 'er up and hand it to their baby?!

Might as well light up a cigarette and let them take a long suck on that, mama.

Many times when I'm eating a salad for lunch and DS is sitting next to me, he has said he can smell it. He wrinkles his nose and waves his hand in front of his face.

It's a green salad, little man. No tuna. No smelly cheese.

Perhaps he's just very attuned to his sense of smell and that is what is driving this. I wouldn't be surprised. My dad is very sensitive to smell and I also have inherited that to a degree.

Hum...

Since food likes/dislikes are attributed quite a bit to the sense of smell, maybe there's a study somewhere that has given food scents a rating on a scale? It would make sense that a person with an aversion to mushrooms (yuck) would also perhaps not like a similarly scoring food.

Amertrine when I was pregnant with my first I would throw up from the smell of carrots being juiced in another room through a closed door. Now carrots had been a favorite vege previously, and I would not previously have said they even had a smell. Interestingly that pregnancy resulted in a child with an hysterical aversion to orange vegetables. And I took a long time to be able to eat them again myself, though I certainly can't smell them anymore (my husband and kids all can though I am sure, they have amazing sense of smell).