Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Why does pre-school exist?

{dryly} Only if it's edible and comes with sugar and frosting...

Most of the kids who were in preschool with my kids were there because both of their parents had full-time jobs, and preschool provided more socialization, learning, and overall a more enriched environment than daycare. And kindergarten where we live isn't just about learning how to be at school etc - there is a curriculum and it's heavy on learning to read with quite a bit of other beginning academics tossed in.

We didn't have to send our kids to preschool but we chose to, and to be honest, I thought it was a great experience for them. We sent them to a Montessori preschool that wasn't focused at all on academics, but the explorations that they did, the opportunity to know and love and trust other adults as caretakers, and the fun they had with other children were all positives for them. We still see many of their preschool friends around town at kid activities, in summer camps etc. and my kids still (mostly) remember preschool fondly (note - we did have one very bad experience which is not remembered fondly!).

Best wishes,

polarbear

Thanks for all the replies.

I understand that some people need childcare, and so they might as well make it as fulfilling as they can. But I don't see what "academics" could be needed. If all you need to know entering Kindergarten is the alphabet and a few such things like that, you don't really need to go to an educational institution for that. Also I don't get the idea of pre-school as a preparation for the classroom setting of Kindergarten. If children aren't naturally ready for a classroom setting at age 5 or 6, how on Earth are they supposed to be ready for a classroom setting at age 3 or 4? That just doesn't make sense to me at all. And I don't see why it is a better social situation than just interacting with people of all ages at home and in various public places.

One drawback of putting your child in pre-school, that hasn't been mentioned yet, is that if you have a wild, energetic, independent, highly intelligent child, and you put them in an environment with no intellectual expectation, but instead with expectations about how a child is supposed to act, then your child will attract suspicions of having certain disorders, which could lead to misdiagnosis and damaging treatments, medications or other "services". There was no way we would put our children in that situation. Then as our oldest was approaching Kindergarten age, it became clear we had to start homeschooling.

22b - preschool (good quality preschool) was really good for slowly and gently reigning my completely "my way or the highway" HG+ 3yr old into classroom behavior between 3 and 4.5. And she loved it. Until 4.5 when she was utterly ready for school and not allowed to go, then it was torture.

My third child is just 3 and 1.5 terms into preschool she's clearly also having a great learning experience - though she's naturally much better suited to group time etc, so she's already way ahead of her sister in terms I what they want the kids to learn at preschool.

My son just needed a routined structure of "work" (basically a school schedule of just art, music, motor skill activities, and extra maths, reading, and writing activities that only my son did). I was probably a little more relaxed (about teaching) than my son needed; he definitely loves routine and authority, and always has even as a toddler. The year before he started kindy was like torture, he was so bored at home, and I tried to recreate a kindy atmosphere but it wasn't the same. I regret not sending him a year earlier, but I thought he might be lacking in social skills as he seemed terrified of young kids. I am the one in my family with children, and I was the first of my friends (who then had girls, while I have boys), and I'm a SAHM.

I think it's interesting that so many people automatically think of the ABCs and early math when they think of preschool and early elementary school "academics". There is so much more to learn in the world than that! Our children's preschools (and most of the preschools we interviewed when choosing a preschool) weren't about learning your letters or numbers or anything at all like that. They emphasized art, creative exploration, imaginary play, relationships, had puzzles and manipulatives to work with etc.


I personally don't believe that children need to or should have to go to preschool - but instead see it as something that adds "something" for some kids. OTOH, the preschools I've been in are nothing like a "classroom" setting at all in the way that kindergarten is. What they do that preps kids for kindergarten is in letting the kids get used to an adult other than mom/dad/usual caregiver lead them through part of the day, help get them used to putting on their outdoor coat/shoes etc at the same time as a small group of other kids, learn to line up and walk in pairs when going on walks, get used to sharing with kids other than their siblings, things like that - mixed in with fun and interesting exploration and play.


It isn't "better" but it's different than interacting with people of all ages at home and in various places. First, it's different than home simply in that it's not home. It's a bit outside the comfort zone of many kids at first. And I believe that interactions with adults (when you are a young child) are fundamentally different than interactions with other young children. And... my kids really *enjoyed* the friends they made at preschool.


It's not *that* easy to get misdiagnosed and started on meds. I think I mentioned above that we had one bad preschool experience - my older dd was at a school where she drove the adults nuts and vice-versa. The head of the school was convinced she was deaf, convinced she had some type of social issues etc. Our dd refused to take a nap after lunch and put up quite the fit about it. When she was upset she would sit in a corner and scream. For all that the preschool caretakers tried to convince us she had some severe issues going on, we knew our dd and we knew that wasn't the case. The flip side of that was - there was *something* going on - she had food allergies that gave her stomachaches, and all the huge "issues" started 20 minutes after lunch. So no, she didn't have all the possible horrible things going on that the staff thought might be up with her, but she did have a "something" that we needed to do something about. At the end of the day, if you get your child into a preschool and the fit is way off - there are big problems, no parent is going to rush off believing their child has some disorder without getting a second opinion or without withdrawing and trying something different. A preschool teacher can't medicate a child - you have to have a dr's eval to get meds. I think that there are going to be children who are enrolled in preschool and it's not a good fit yet simply because they aren't developmentally ready for it, but I think it's highly unlikely that those children end up with "diagnoses" simply because of that.

I'll also add that, as another person mentioned above - my EG ds really liked having the routine and structure as well as activities and adults to give him something to think about. He still does - he asks to go to camps etc in the summer rather than having a lot of unstructured downtime. That's just him, and for kids like him, preschool can be a very happy place. My older dd, otoh, is extremely social - she can live without structure but she loved loved loved her preschool friends.

polarbear

The expectation of a group of 2,3,4 year olds is not the same as for five year olds. They gradually change over time as the maturity and ability of the group changes. Circle time isn't a set time, for example, the teacher is constantly reading the group, and when they're done, they're done. So a class of two year olds might last 30 seconds, kids approaching school age can go for half an hour and gave great group discussions. It's also dependant on the particular group of kids and the weather. The point is that they work in the zone of proximal development, helping the children find strategies to cope in a group setting and improving their executive function gradually, in an age appropriate way.

I don't think you understand what the intellectual expectations are in preschool. Actually, I know you don't because you're saying both that there weren't any and that your son couldn't meet them. It takes brains and experimentation to figure out how to get Jane to give you that book, it's hard to follow other's contributions in circle time, it's hard to remember something and recount it to the teacher (see that reading comprehension thread?). Thinking in 3D with playdough is quite a skill (notice how much they roll and cut shapes instead of 3D stuff? How do you keep from grabbing at snack until the thankyou song is done (marshmallow experiment shows it's strategies that makes the difference)

Yes, for us it has been both the range of activities and the socializing. Both of my rampant extroverts have thrived/are thriving on five full days at a large play-based preschool. We did need the childcare, and were very lucky that what worked for the adults was also a good fit for our kids' temperaments.

DS7 knew letters and numbers, colors and shapes before two so needed none of that. For him the value was in a strong group of peers at the same developmental level (physical and cognitive), tons of physical activity (two hours of outdoor play daily plus a very active classroom) and an endless buffet of engaging activities to choose from. His teachers were also brilliant at helping him along with sensory issues, giving him space to escape from loud noises or too much stimulation and giving him freedom from the routine (eg circle time) once it became clear that was what he needed. His preschool friends are still among his closest.

DD3, now in the same class, is much more "workbooky" so chooses to spend more time narrating and writing. Tons of building (three or four different construction projects with different materials going on at any time) and imaginative play (with six or seven kids pulled into different roles as the game expands) that would be hard to reproduce at home. A social laboratory (really, that feels like the way she's using it) of kids on all levels to engage with, plus gentle encouragement to be as comfortable speaking in front of the whole group as she is one-on-one.

The school is Bank Street-based so everything is taught through exploring the world - music, movement, drama, science, read-alouds all integrated into the unit du jour. And it's a large school (25 kids and five teachers in our class, five classes total), so an added benefit is the 15-20 pullout classes - sports, cooking, dance, music - that kids can take (for an extra charge) during the day. We never had to run around to give the kids a range of activities to try.

Honestly I wish the public schools (in the closest three towns, anyway - have preschool friends in all of them) were half as good as our preschool.

For us, preschool was just one of several fun activities we did a few times a week. We went to Kindermusik, the park, the zoo, out to eat, gymnastics, preschool, etc. We didn't have any huge expectations for preschool, just that it be fun. If it wasn't fun I wouldn't have sent them.

That being said, a few ways that I see preschool as beneficial, other than as a fun activity:

- Gets a child used to other adult authority figures. When you do playdates, you (the parent) are still the authority figure. When someone else is the authority figure the child has to measure and adjust their behavior and expectations, which is an important social skill. (This, of course, can also be learned in other classes where the parent isn't involved.)

- Encourages the child to be more independent in personal care. What parent hasn't jumped in a bit too readily when their child is taking too long to put on their coat or tie their shoes. A teacher is less likely to do that. Plus, kids learn that they can ask for help if they really need it but that they need to work hard at a task first (the value of hard work).

- Promotes a child's sense of themselves as an individual, separate from their parents. Yet, since it's just for a short period of time, allows the child to return to the emotional safety of their parents and home and experience in small doses their independence.

- Teaches children how to do school. Because I'm a person who likes structure, this would be important to me even if I decided to home school. Having had one child who entered K early and another who skipped K, I also know that elementary schools find preschool experience to be necessary to this type of acceleration.

I definitely with all those specific benefits, mnmom.

My daughter liked preschool, though she had some behavioral challenges at times. My son is perfectly behaved, but hates preschool. He doesn't go to the same school as she did; hers was more play-based. Honestly, I would go so far as to say that preschool has turned out to be a disaster for him. The odd thing is that it seemed to be fine for the first 3-4 months.

He loved his play-based in-home daycare.