Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion The ultimate brag thread

I just LOVE this anecdote. Way to go to your DS, of course-- but way to go to you, too! It's not always easy to let them solve their problems when the stakes are high.

What I've learned with both of my sons is to attempt to guide more and more rather than direct starting at about age 14, giving more and more choices but adding that they will either reap the reward or suffer the ramifications of their decisions. That seems to sink in deeper and deeper the more decisions they make. Now with one DS being 15 and the other 19, I find they come to us as parents SEEKING guidance and consultation rather than us directing and mandating.

As my eldest son put it after his first semester in college, "The best part about college is the independence....the worst part about college is the independence."

On the other hand, there is still plenty of boy left even in the 19 year old as evidenced by the Mother's Day card he game his mom in which he wrote,

"Roses are red....my name is not Dave....this poem makes no sense.....microwave."

"Remember, there is no job in the world as important as making me food."

He's got an interesting sense of humor

Using the Old Dad approach also prevents College PTSD, from which I appear to continue to suffer, given my recurrent nightmares which have become extremely annoying at this point in my life, 15 years out of college.

I basically went from complete mandates and imposed structure to zero assistance/guidance.

LOL, OldDad. I love your son's poem. It sounds like his sense of humor and my DD's are very close in style and substance.

I sometimes get random Haiku, for example. VERY random. LOL.

I also love the 'guiding' thing. I regard us as DD's "coaches" unless she's about to do something incredibly boneheaded that will have consequences that nobody can live with. Otherwise, we let her go right on attending the school of life experience.

That's great, Old Dad. I believe in natural consequences, too. It's a good way to create independent, critical thinkers

It goes along with teaching children about calculated risk which I believe strongly in. I don't want to teach my kids to always take the safe path but rather to help them to evaluate when to risk what they have or would have had using a safe route. This is as you say, part of "Natural consequences"

It's good to see this thread still here after all these years. I "left" when ds9 was 6 or 7. We were finally getting his needs met. Grade acceleration, Gifted program and clustering. Then we moved...

But his new school does move them around for math and science based off ability, so that is good.

Anyway, that's not my brag. My brag is my "normal" dd7 has successfully tested and completed her first year in the gifted program. I'm so proud.

For this that remember me, Hi. For those that don't, keep fighting for your kiddos. It's great to have them actually thrive when they are placed in the right spot!

well, i'm not sure if this belongs here, but it's totally making my day. my DD5 just finished writing a story inspired by the mysterious picture of a dapper lobster in a shop window. it is a cautionary tale.

the story is called The Gentleman Lobster, Great Detective.

synopsis: The Gentleman Lobster enjoys the finer things in life, including (but not limited to) detecting, great literature and fine dining. In the course of his enquiries into the whereabouts of a missing hula hoop and bottle of hair tonic, he is horrified to find out that, depending on the context, he himself might be considered "fine dining."

OMG, that is AWESOME. Have you been reading her Gorey? (I love your sig)

thanks, Ultramarina!

hee - The Doubtful Guest is probably our favourite of the Gorey stuff.

for a long time i thought DD was skewing more to the math/science side - she's got a scrapbook of inventions as thick as my wrist, but in the past year or so, she's really developed a sense of the dramatic. as far as i know, her first-ever self-penned story began, "The light from the window glowed from above. Harry [Potter] gazed up at it, unsure." it's especially cool 'cause it's written on the inside left of a folded page, so it looks like a book. it'll probably live on the fridge door till she's 25.

man, it's a relief to be able to let some of this stuff out. thanks again!