Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Recommendations for accomodations

We had initially done a minimal evaluation of my son - IQ test and achievement test. However, he has been so bored this year in school, that we decided to go for a more complete evaluation with a pediatric neuropsychologist. She will be making a bunch of recommendations for his grade placement and accomodations for his motor skills, organizational skills, learning style, and intelligence.

Just wondering if anyone has done this type of thing - and whether you had success with the school accepting and following the recommendations?

Mary

Sounds so wonderful - I hope your school is responsive, although I haven't heard good stories. Are you going to one of the "nationally know" places? I've always fantisized about going to John Hopkins or Denver talent search. But, when all is said and done, I think the only way to know what will work for an individual child is to try various options and observe. I sure wish there was another way!

Davidson set us up with a phone consultation and the consultant recommended the person he thought would benefit us most. We drive 15 hours each way to get there, but it was worth it for our own information.

Hoping it will be useful for the school as well.

not a big name place, but one of the authors of the Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis of Gifted Children book.

Trinity:
You wrote "I've always fantasized about going to John Hopkins or Denver talent search"
Please write more. Any experiences?
Ania

Sometimes my DS9 is so hard to understand. I like imagining that there is an "expert" "somewhere" who can explain him to everybody, including himself, and they he'll be, well not normal, but treated normally for himself. From our school's perspective he shoud be getting all A+ based on his IQ and Achievment Tests. But he gets Bs and A-s, Is he "2E" with a processing problem or ADHD - or is he showing similar behaviors due to "lack of fit" in the classroom? Does he have problems with "Executive function" or is he just a normal 9 year old boy?

Are his difficulties due to my lack of experience as a parent? My character defects? My unidentified giftedness? My unidentified "2Eness?"Are my expectations too high? Is this part of my own perfectionism? Am I creating these problems? What about my husband's concerns?

Then I go to Hogie's Page are read http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/13_days.htm
and have tears in my eyes.

Does that help?

Hi Trinity

I feel with you! IMO I believe this is all caused by lack of challenge in classrooms. I spent a day in my ds class.They were working on math.The children were working in groups.They were told that they Must take turns useing counters to solve a addition worksheet TOGETHER!With examples like 5+6 and 4+9.I felt so bad for my son. I was surprised that he did'nt fall off his chair and fall asleep! Imagine doing the same work every day for a whole year.How can a child who wants and loves to learn give it 100%. There's nothing wrong with B's and A's.With the kind of work given in class it's not worth the effort to get A+.

My DS is misunderstood by everyone.And the fact is we may never know All the WHY'S.

Hi Trinity,

I was thinking the other day about all I have read and learned on this board and others that are similar. So many people talk about the exact same frustrations, set backs, etc. I believe for some the issues our children face directly result from our own unidentified or undeveloped giftedness. I was identified as gifted at age 6. I never received any accommodations to develop my giftedness into a talent, though. I was completely mainstreamed and by the time I was 8 no one ever mentioned my higher intellectual abilities again. I was so confused!! What are you doing to accept your adult giftedness now and how do these gifts affect you and others in your life?

Sometimes the behavior of my dd and ds gets me frustrated and impatient. It helps to remember the apple doesn�t fall to far from the tree, and when I�m at my best (able to stay calm) I can remember what it was like to be a gifted child in mainstream society.

Why don�t you try Johns Hopkins distance learning program? They have testing centers all over the nation. You don�t have to actually go there for testing. We live near Denver and tested last summer. Our DS9 takes a distance learning math class. Affordability can be an issue however. Currently, the tuition for 9 months of instruction in one course is around $1600.

I have looked at Rocky Mountain as well. However, they don�t offer anything until 6th grade. We�ve got three more years to go before our oldest could be considered.

What our dd and ds need immediately is access to other children who are similar to them, in respect to emotional and mental development and common interests. They often complain they don�t have any �real� friends. Our dd7 continually strives to develop a friendship with a 10-year-old girl in our area. When the opportunity arises for the girls to play together they have a great time. The opportunity seldom arises though. I believe the other mother doesn�t necessarily like her daughter playing with another who is so much younger than she. The mother is considerably concerned with social status and how things �look� to others. My dd doesn�t understand the complexities of social status, nor does she care. She just wants a girl friend to play and socialize with.

We live in a rural area. No GT programs exist within our entire county. Consequently, our children aren�t the only GT kids who are underserved by the local schools. I am thinking of starting some type of �GT Club� in our area. We own in business in a nearby town and could run something out of there in the evenings. Has anyone done something similar to this? If so, I would love to hear about your success and failures.

I really don�t like the idea of arranging friendships among children. Friendships simply can�t be forced. However, I am concerned with the possibility of adolescent depression beginning to arise. Does anyone have an opinion on this, or other possible solutions for gifted children who haven�t formed any substancial or positive relationships outside of their immediate family?


J.

Well,I was asking about John Hopkins and Denver, because my son, who is a 5th grader, is actually old enough to apply to the program. We did apply, he was tested and actually tested high enough to receive honors - he will be among other top scoring kids receiving an award at the University of Utah in May. He is not proud about scoring high, I guess he is used to it, but he is extremely proud about getting an award at the university.
My son did exhibit all of the anxious behaviours gifted toddlers and preschoolers can exhibit. However at that time I did not even think about the fact that he is gifted - I simply felt stupid and inadequate when he was getting extremely anxious and agitated when we had visitors (jumping on the sofa for what seemed all the time, running around the coffee table as we were trying to have a conversation, worrying about things that seemed to be unimportant). My parents suggested a visit to a psychologist but I was terrified of having him labelled - instead I tried to channel his energies.
The first time I thought about the fact that he might be gifted, and not just handful, was after a second grade standardized test, when everything was at 99% except for vocabulary at 98%, which I thought was exceptional since he is fluent in another language and we do not use English at home at all. I asked his teacher what that meant and how does this compare to other kids - her reply was that he is going to achieve great things in life...but nothing as far as school has changed. My son was unhappy at school but he never said that he was bored, never! He was probably sensing that something was wrong but could not put it together. And now I blame myself for not looking around at different options sooner. Bu he was in a private school, I thought, what better can I do for him?
I wrote somewhere here before that last year we had a life changing experience. We switched schools and my son, being in a regular 5th grade classroom, is able to take Algebra and advance LA. His new school does ability grouping. Last week he was given an end of level science test for 6th grade - I was not aware of that but that just proves that this school is looking for the best way to accomodate his needs. They did approach us about a grade skip, so far I am very reluctant. His math teacher has already told me that next year he will be taking an online geometry class. He is a secretary on a student council, played Willy Wonka in an over an hour long production of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" - this school is great for my son. So we have been realy blessed in finding this school, but also, as my son's teacher wrote in her recommendation letter to Denver, he can find a new thing in a material he has already mastered, he will take of from the subject presented at school and work on it independently at home. Right now this problem is a danger of tsunami, should a major earthquake occur beneath Salt Lake. His teacher thinks there is one an he is trying to prove her wrong. The great part is that she is letting him do that!
I quess what I am trying to say here, is that there is hope. As our gifted kids are growing, they are more able to control those anxious behaviours that were overwhelming for them when they were younger. My son is turning into a young men that is able to control his emotions (most of the time :-), and he has found the place where he belongs as far as school. I do hope that he will progress along this line and not end up on some kind of an antidepressant by the time he is 16. I try to teach him how to cope with stress and anxiety - running, swimming, art, music are all parts of his life. He has many more friends now than he ever did, I quess he is beginning to recognize that he has to make some accomodations in his interests and behavior in order to become a better friend. The outlook at this time is really positive.
But going back to Denver - I am very anxious as to how this whole experience will play on us. Anyone out there who knows anything about Summer Institute? Please share.

Trinity - you are in DYS? Have a talk with your family consultant. My family consultant is Shannon and she set us up with a couple of phone consultations that ended up leading us to Dr. Nadia Webb in Virginia. Like I said, not Johns Hopkins, but I'm not so sure that she wasn't a better way to go anyway. Her expertise in profoundly gifted - not just gifted - made her a great resource. Davidson helped me find her and they can help you find the right place to get your son evaluated.

They pay for the phone consultations - and they have funds available to help pay for evaluations if you need financial help there. For us, it was value enough in telling us where to go and what to ask for when we got there.

I know that the big centers test lots of gifted kids - but how many PG kids do they really see? And... I have to say, I guess I am buying into the idea that a neuropsychologist is more useful to us than a regular psychologist. If for no other reason than that she was able to answer definitely 'does he have ADHD' - even though he isn't in an appropriate educational setting. (The answer is NO!)

It sounds like you are suffering from a lack of information. Contact your family consultant and get some help on that. Your son needs for you to know the answers to those questions.

BTW - How old is your son? Is he accelerated? You have probably written all this in another string - I just can't remember. My DS just turned 7 and is up one grade (in 2nd now). He does 4th grade math and science though. Dr. Webb wants him in fifth grade full time next year - but doing distance learning on math so that he can find his level there. She thinks that his propensity to daydream in class will fade once he is required to pay attention in order to do the work. She said 5th grade would still allow him to make straight A's with just a little bit of effort.

Oh well....

Ania - thanks for sharing your experience! That is so hopeful. For What it's Worth, I'd take the grade skip IF your son wants it, because then he'll have more kids who are closer to him intellectually nearby.

Which Summer Institute do you mean? Start a thread on it - I'll look for it.

Mary - your story sounds so good too, I'll send you an email through the parent's list, or put your email on the YS Directory. ((smile))

Below is a link to an article from Laura's site.
This is exactly what I worry about.
Ania


http://kennebecjournal.mainetoday.com/news/local/2713327.shtml

We finally got the report from the psych. I have emailed the private tutor and hope to discuss the report with her privately before meeting with officials from the school.

Wish us luck!

Bottom line: she stuck to what she had told us when we were there. No ADD. Something funky going on with motor skills and processing in the left ear. Social withdrawal cause for concern. Otherwise, a perfect fit for an additional 2 grade skips next year.

Suggested re-evaluation in 18-24 months for another possible grade skip.

Mommy not a happy camper.... just can't get used to the idea of a 12 yo college student, but that is what the psych is predicting. As we are on the 3rd psych to predict that, it is starting to sound way too inevitable.

Mary

Mary - please don't let the future scare you off from meeting your son's need today. You'll know if he isn't ready to "go away to school" at age 12, and come up with alternatives that suit your individual situation.

Here's another way to look at it - if at age 12, what your kid needs is college - then you'll know and you'll want it for him too. For now, just consentrate on who he is and what he needs in the present.

Trinity

"Mommy not a happy camper.... just can't get used to the idea of a 12 yo college student, but that is what the psych is predicting. As we are on the 3rd psych to predict that, it is starting to sound way too inevitable."

There are lots and lots of ways to handle this short of full time college enrollment at 12--but please be assured that if full time college enrollment at 12 is what is right for your child's circumstances, it can be done gracefully and happily for all involved. Try to stay flexible, figure out the options from year to year (or semester to semester) and remember nothing is inevitable or irrevocable.

BTDT

Thanks - I know you are right. I am starting to be okay with it - as long as they do make the accomodations on for motor skills, etc. However, DH is now unhappy.... He remembers looking up girls shirts in 5th grade and is not sure he wants his little boy hanging with a crowd like that.....

So complicated. So very very complicated.

I just found this topic and I have to say that I know how you feel about sending your 12 year old to college. I did it this year. After he begged for a year I finally started homeschooling him and allowed him to take 2 college classes at our community college. He just finished with A's in both classes. It was the best thing we ever did. He was so much happier this year. I don't know what we will do next fall but I'm pretty sure it will involve more CC courses with eventual full time enrollment. The college would allow it now but I don't feel comfortable with that yet. It really is very complicated but it can be worked out. It was funny one day when I was at a homeschool meeting where the teachers were going over options for students who were going on to High School and how the parents need to plan for the long term goal. Then she looked at me and said, "You need to take it day by day."

Eileen

Thanks - I needed that.