Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Behavior problems

I agree with everything said here. I am very very new to this board (It's my first post). And I can identify with both your DD and Mel056's DD. You are describing my DS6 (well, 6 yo in June). He is at the tail end of Kindergarten. There were TONS of behavior issues at school. Explosive personality/perfectionism/tears/meltdowns/frustration.

We had been seeing a Psychiatrist who recommended us see a child Psychologist. We had 2 sessions for DS to get used to him and then 2 sessions of testing. We were really prepared for what we thought would be the worst and our assumption (along with our pediatrician) that our DS had ADHD. We were wrong. The smile on our Psychologists face as he was so excited to read off our son's test results was GREAT!

It lead us down a different path and into the door of a non-profit in our area. They gave us the tools to push the school and work with the Principal as well as with his teacher. As well as how to properly handle his emotions and thought process. He is what they call "The Perfect Storm" (a tornado of emotion). Ultimately, we came to the conclusion in a meeting with the Principal that he was butting heads with his teacher/her personality/and lack of firm structure in class. He absolutely hated school which only increased his behavior. He was moved to a more seasoned K teacher and into a more quiet and structured classroom in January of this year. It is LEAPS AND BOUNDS from his last class and he is excelling and enjoying school again.

Our current struggle is having him tested at the school by the district Psychologist and gaining so sort of accomodations for his "way of learning". He is still being forced to conform to standard classroom assignments and taught based on the majority. They seem to think that his lack of attention means he couldn't possibly be able to learn accelerated curriculum. For now, since things are going really well I've left it alone. But I plan to push it for 1st Grade. Our district doesn't have any gifted programs until 3rd Grade. And really hesitates to pull children into an upper class periodically.

I hope my post was helpful in some way. If not, at least know that I understand exactly how you feel.

Well, my husband and I met with a psychologist recommended by our pediatrician yesterday and DD will meet with her Monday. I'm not sure what will come of it, but at least three visits are covered by insurance. It feels good to know that we are at least doing something, but I got the vibe from the psychologist that she doesn't jump to testing. She did mention occupational therapy for some of the sensory issues.

Reading Raising Your Spirited Child is helping me and I got several more book recommendations in our meeting yesterday. I have the feeling I may not be getting the answers I'm looking for, but at this point dealing with the behavior is paramount.

DD's initial meeting with the psychologist was less than fruitful. She met alone for 45 minutes and then I joined them for the final 15. Is it possible that my child was putting on a performance, because I didn't recognize her at all. She was crawling around under the coffee table, rolling on the floor, wouldn't answer direct questions, was crawling in my lap and putting her head down and just generally all over the place. Behavior I have never seen before from her. Ever. The doctor just had us write down three things she could do instead of hitting when she gets upset and sent us on our way. Not what I had expected.

I called to follow up and asked about testing or further evaluation. Basically she thought we should just proceed with therapy every two weeks and get a feel for what behavior modifications we can help DD make. She advised that it might take a few months for DD to get comfortable enough to make any headway, but that testing isn't something that she does.

So back to the drawing board. My gut tells me that getting a complete evaluation is the correct place to start. I just can't see doing months of therapy in the hopes that eventually something will click. Especially when my kid seemed so incredibly disengaged.

Has anyone else seen a changeling appear before their eyes?

That is how mine acted with both a psychologist and social worker. I think it was his way of coping with stress. We were working on anxiety issues and it wasn't easy to be there.

As far as your psychologist... any gifted training? That makes a huge difference if that is a factor for your child. Also I'd say you are right about needing to get the testing done first. You could blow a lot of copays on counseling and get nowhere without the empirical results available through testing.

awaz:

That sounds like an anxiety reaction.

Do you know what the psychologist talked about?

Is it possible she felt pressured to perform well in front of the psychologist?

My DS7 has had reactions like that when he feels pressure to perform and isn't confident that he can succeed.

It doesn't sound like this Dr does Cognitive Behavior Therapy, which I would strongly recommend. I think it makes a lot more sense for gifted kids because it's logical and practical and focuses on real world problems and practising dealing with them.

Although her bio on her practice's website stated that she draws heavily from cognitive behavior therapy, it didn't feel very concrete or practical. Maybe I just had unrealistic expectations for an initial visit. I really thought we'd start from a diagnostic perspective and the "wait and see" is frustrating for me.

I guess I hadn't really thought of anxiety with this kid. She internalizes a lot and has never been able to talk about what she's feeling. Not a talker in general. She tends to explode at home when she's stressed and get quiet at school. Never a hint of separation anxiety or phobias. She's not a worrier about anything except her own performance, so I guess if she thought she was "failing" at talking to the psychologist that might fit.

I know that she said she liked school and her parents, and she drew a few pictures (she replicated pretty exactly one that another kid had done). I guess she could have felt pressure to perform, but I've never seen this kind of behavior before.

Good news is she hasn't been in trouble at school for a while and things at home have been a little quieter. I've also contacted a different psychologist that does evaluations for ASD and she recommended having her observed in the classroom and doing testing to rule out Asperger's. Not sure how I feel about that yet as her teacher already thinks I'm "that mom".