Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Am i overreacting about this ??

While it is true , 5 minutes silent during lunch , is not a big deal . But i think 5 minutes for kids , esp. with friends around , this would be a big challenge for them . Esp. for my DS , he LOVES talking . In fact he loves talking so much he gets in trouble because of talking ALL the time . In the classroom , he always gets his jobs done , but after that he always wants to talk . He even got detention because of talking !

I really don't mind the 5 minute silent lunch , as long as the consequences suit the crime . I just don't see it's fair having the recess taken away for talking during that 5 minutes of silent lunch . He could have run 5 laps for the consequences , or something where he still able to let out his energy .

And plus with the background that he's working on improving his behavior , this just sets him up for a failure . Why ? Because he's going to have his recess taken away anyway .

In fact what makes the school thinks taking away DS' recess will work ? He even had 2 detentions because of talking and he's still talk .. will taking away recess work ? Obviously no .. why couldn't they see it !! We've talked about this , that punishments aren't working for DS .

It really upsets me , this morning he was about to bring his 2 small dinosaurs to school for recess and i said .. are you sure you can play with that ?

He said " yes during recess only "
Then quiet for few seconds and then he said " Oh nevermind , i probably not having recess today because i whispered something to my friend during silent lunch "

I almost cried because , he's been working so hard , and i keep telling him he's a good boy , but the school keeps doing things like this and putting him under a microscope to the point where i feel like he's already being labelled as a trouble maker ! Wherever he is whatever he does .. he thinks it's always going to get him in trouble .

Totally agree , this is why it was so upsetting for me .

Good luck. They have recess directly before they eat? Or recess, then school, then lunch? It is funny but until I started reading these and other forums I just assumed that all kids had an hour for lunch.

I find this silent lunch thing....really bizarre.

At my son's school (in Oz), they have a five minute fruit snack, then 20 minutes for recess and play, then 35 minutes for lunch and play. During recess and lunch they have to eat before they can play, so if they talk they may miss out on the fun. To force a child to not be able to talk sounds like torture!

Recess directly before they eat lunch . So they have their recess then they'll march to the lunch room and start lining up to get their food .

Recess at 12.30 until 1 , then at 1 they will march to their lunch room , they have to be finished by 1.30 , that's when they have to go back to their class for math then science .

It is a little odd , we never found it up north either , we just moved to this southern state a year ago and we heard about 5-10 minutes silent lunch was odd too .

The problem with me is , i think the punishment doesn't suit the crime . Because when you talk during that 5 minutes silent lunch , the punishment is losing whole recess next day which is 30 minutes . And i thought this punishment is really ridiculous . Now if you fight with other students then you lose recess , now that punishment suits the crime . I just don't understand it . I am requesting a meeting with the principal , but i haven't got any reply for it yet .

Our kids get only 15 min to eat, but they at their desks. So they just get up, go to their back packs, get their lunch & sit back down again. Between that and snack time in the morning it seems fine (except for DD10 who nibbles like a mouse - arrgh). After their 15 min eating time, they go outside for 30 min to play.

Jaylivg that 5 min silent lunch thing is ludicrous. Does your son have an IEP? Could there be something added to it to cancel this out for him? (Forgive me if this has been mentioned already - I haven't read the whole thread yet).

Oh my GOSH ...do these same rules apply to the other kids?

That's awful. Seriously.

My DS8 (gr 3), on the other hand, fidgets, stands up, spins beside his desk, drops things, etc etc. They let him do this because his ADHD dx is on his IEP (plus they're kind, and enlightened). He even has a secret signal with his teacher that allows him to leave the room and go into the hall when he needs a break.

Our district, in addition to morning and afternoon recess, also has DPA (daily physical activity) in which they spend 30 minutes of curriculum time exercising. Each teacher can choose what to do, or in some schools they all exercise together - for instance our friends school has ALL the kids go to the gym & dance & do aerobics together. Taking away recess would only happen if there was a safety issue involved for the child or for other kids.

Jaylivg I'm not sure what I'd do in your situation (other than modify his IEP if he has one). I'd be livid, that's for sure.

CCN ,

No he doesn't have IEP . I am telling you , the teacher is horrible . The other day he was swinging on his tummy , just like his other friends did , and guess what ? He got himself in trouble , and he said it is so unfair because everyone else was doing the same but they don't get in trouble .

His homeroom teacher yells a lot , yesterday he told on another student and his teacher said " does it hurt you him doing that ? " The other student was making mean face to him . And DS said " no .. "
His teacher response then " WELL THEN STOP TATTLE TALE !! "

I mean i understand it gets tiring when the children tattle tale but don't need to yell at him . DS gets to the point where he doesn't know should he tell teacher or not if someone is bothering him . He came home telling me another student did this and that .. but he didn't say a thing to teacher , this makes me mad too .

He gets in trouble because he took a pencil out while they're supposed to watch " Magic school bus " on a video . Teacher said he's not paying attention . At home i made him writing what he learned during science ( magic school bus ) , and he wrote the whole story in details . So he did pay attention it's just it might not seem he pays attention but he does .. he has his own way , even if he's busy doing something , he's still paying attention . But yet he gets in trouble because of this !

I think by now he's just being labelled as a trouble maker , and that he's being watched like a hawk .

I really really dislike his school

It's funny US worries about childhood obesity , but yet , they take out recess as a punishment . The only time they get daily exercise !!! I understand if they did a major thing such as fighting .. then yes please take away recess but like i said what they're doing now , the punishment doesn't suit the crime .

The one thing I like about our dds' school is that they are very open minded about movement for kids and are very tolerant, even without IEPs. They understand kids' needs to move.