Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Am i overreacting about this ??

Texas can be the land of crazy... but I've also found nearly everyone very helpful and accommodating in a one on one setting.

I would pop into the office and have a chat with the Principal or Vice Principal about your son constantly having a problem with this "silent 5mins" thing and see if he can possibly do something else - be excused to the office for that time period, or have a JOB like helping to pick up or SOMETHING.

We had a similar problem last year where DS was constantly getting into trouble at the same time every day (dismissal) so they started having him leave class a few minutes early and letting him hang out in the front office or the counselor's office during dismissal, then he'd go to his after school program. Everyone was very happy to help him out and it solved our problem.

Good luck! I vote just go talk to them and go in with the attitude that OF COURSE they want to help him!

Oh gosh .. i would absolutely hope so !! It's been a nightmare for all of us !

Well , 30 minutes actually is that .. walking from playground into the lunch room , line up to get their lunch and sit to start eating . So you're right it's not actually 30 mins or 25 mins either .

For DS , no recess meaning , they sit by the wall watching everyone playing on the playground . Usually there are average 10 kids doing this everyday according to DS . So they'll be sitting by the wall not doing anything !

I don't mind taking away recess if it's because something very bad . But seriously for talking during lunch .. and they give these poor kids no recess as a punishment ? I'd rather have them run 5 or 10 laps if they talk during lunch !! At least that way they get their energy out . They used to do this , but now they change to no recess next day .

Great idea , actually we've been requesting for a conference with the principal and teacher too , no reply yet for that . But i will def. bring this up , that's a great idea . Thanks !

Not only do I not agree with this consequence in general and definitely knowing the kids have to sit out all recess, but I really don't like the idea of receiving the punishment the next day either, especially for a child like your DS that is working on behaviors. He could be having a really good day, but because of something that happened the day prior he has to sit during recess. I think this is going to set him up to fail.

I agree that you need to talk to someone and nicely and calmly explain the reasons why this may not be helpful to what they are trying to accomplish with the behavior chart.

You might like this series of links from WrightsLaw, including an AAP policy position stating the vital importance of recess. Please note that it's written with an ADHD audience in mind, but I think it pertains to all children equally.

http://www.wrightslaw.com/blog/?p=5338

The school needs to return to first principles and ask itself if it's truly fulfilling its mandate by endorsing policies that run counter to expert advice. This isn't a prison system for diminutive inmates, it's a place of learning, personal growth, self-expression, and creative thought. A policy of silence and withholding recess seems draconian and undermines the spirit of education.

Also, how is the policy expected to support the goal of teaching healthy living habits? Eat hurriedly, wrap up before you're physically capable of sensing satiety and then rest in a docile, semi-comatose state, or else your only physical and social outlet will be cut off. That's a recipe for creating a generation of maladjusted, basement-dwelling, obese teenagers. There's nothing like evidence-based practice, is there?

Excuse my sardonic tone. I clearly don't think your ire is misplaced.

I don't think asking them to have 5 minutes of quiet is unreasonable. I don't think you're overreacting about him missing recess. No kid should miss recess.

There is no way DS would be able to stay quiet for 5 minutes during something as social as lunch. Heck, he can NEVER stay quiet for 5 minutes unless he's engaged! Eating and waiting on the others to finish CALLS for talking. Not for quiet! It's just horrible!

OK, so I read this through quickly and maybe didn't catch everything correctly, but this is my take on it. You have two different situations going on here that you're concerned with: 1) inappropriate consequence for your ds, and 2) concerns about lunch policy. I'd stick with dealing with your ds' consequence situation first and then once you've resolved that (hopefully!) move on to worry about the lunchroom situation in general - if it's a battle you really are passionate about and want to take up.

Re the consequences - I think the whole situation is not the way I'd want behavior challenges managed - it sounds like your ds is under a microscope. That said, the immediate thing I'd deal with is the idea of taking away the next day's recess for behavior issues the day before. That is a consequence that simply isn't going to work on two huge levels: delay of consequence and removing recess. I would voice those concerns to the school staff without bringing up any judgments about the way lunch is handled.

Re lunch - if I read correctly, recess is before lunch, then there is a set time period for lunch, and the *last* five minutes of lunch is when the students are supposed to be quiet. This is being done so that the kids who still haven't eaten their lunches finish them. I agree it's not a *great* policy but it's also not something I'd fight. The students *are* getting recess and they do have a certain amount of time to talk and eat at the same time. It's not as much time as kids would have in an ideal world, but all throughout school my kids have never had a lunch period longer than 20 minutes - I think it's simply due to how we in the US schedule our school days. This has been brought up as an issue in our school district several times, and each time the district has responded that it's impossible to lengthen the school day simply to extend the lunch hour. I don't remember the exact reasons, but I"m sure it all ties in to $, as well as possibly running into difficulties with bus schedules, after-school activities etc. Re the five minutes of silent lunch at the end - it's not what I'd do if I was in charge, but I also think that it's addressing an issue that is important - I've sat through I don't know how many lunchroom lunches with my kids in early elementary, and so many of the kids talk so much and get excited about whatever is coming next that they don't finish their lunches. When my kids used to do that, they would be *starving* at the end of the school day when I picked them up. Eating was low priority for them during lunch when they could instead be having fun chatting with their friends - but *after* lunch they still had a full afternoon of school where they needed to be able to focus and concentrate on their work, not be distracted by being hungry. So jmo, but 5 minutes of quiet time to make sure students finish their lunch is a very different thing than saying "no talking during lunch ever". I also don't know what's happening in the classroom at this school after lunch, but in our schools lunch/recess are always followed by a quiet reading time, because it does seem to help the kids calm down from their active time and allow them to refocus and be ready to do classwork again. Hence I don't think the lunch quiet time is something I'd worry too much about.

Again, I may have misunderstood how lunch works and if so, ignore my comments!

Best wishes,

polarbear

My thoughts exactly - agree, agree!!