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Hi all - just a quick update (especially since it may help present and future lurkers having similar struggles)... Advocate coordinator said my communications to the school were very well written. In terms of the para situation, she said that I should, for this para and for future ones, ask for the para's qualifications and training... As that the present one (and in the future) get disability sensitivity training as the iep provides funding for that for teachers and teacher assistants or request that she be removed.

I haven't written the email yet but DS told me said para has been "most definitely and significantly 'nicer'" within the past two days. So, I am going to word my email softly but I am still sending something asking if said para has been talked to, what findings and what decision were made, and suggesting that perhaps the school should consider using the funding that it receives under my sons IEP for teacher and paraprofessional training to get said para some disability sensitivity training. The advocate said I can most certainly have her removed ... However, since DS reports she has been nicer I will not push for this.

Oh and in the future I should request to see the qualifications and training of all paras who will work with DS, I can request to have them trained in disability training, in writing disabilities and/or in hypotonia. I can request to have them present at the iep meetings as well. I think I need to start doing that b/c so far the insensitive uneducated paras have really caused a lot of problems.

Wow, that's great to discover! I wonder if that's a federal IEP thing, or state or local district?

Epoch, on the website it states this, "PEN receives funding as a Parent Training and Information Center (PTI) from the US Department of Education and the Pennsylvania Department of Education-PA State Personnel Development Grant (SPDG)."


So apparently, both!

So I sent an email to the principal, cc'ing the IEP team, asking for the results of the meeting with the Para who had said inappropriate things to my DS in attempt to discourage him from having her scribe for him. I also took the opportunity to memorialize our "cordial" discussion regarding DS's IEP scribing accommodations as well as to remind the IEP team that "DS's strength and endurance is not to be remediated during class time." "And that the scribing accommodations are necessary to minimize the impact of the disability of congenital hypotonia and joint hypermobility and to allow DS to access his education." The email referenced emails by teacher and statements made in the IEP meeting by both teacher and spec ed support teacher that indicate that the scribing accommodations have not being provided consistently since December (writings and statements that show they have been waiting for signs of fatigue before providing scribing etc.) and that that is a violation of the iep. I added "Therefore, if the scribing accommodations are not provided consistently and without retaliatory behavior and comments, we would have to exercise our procedural safeguards, unfortunately. We really and truly do not want that to happen."

The advocate person at PEN proofread it and it contained two full paragraphs of "thank yous" and statements of appreciation...

The principal emailed back saying let's all have another iep meeting again. I think one reason is that he doesn't want to put the results of or discuss meeting with the para in writing. I think it may be a good thing to meet again but honestly at the meetings I feel steam-rolled and I don't like them very much. I also am suspicious of the principal's statement that, "I think it would serve everyone better if we were to hold such discussions in an IEP meeting rather than through e-mail" I wonder if he is trying to avoid a paper trail.

So, I am thinking I will go to the meeting and try really hard not to get ruffled and not to get hurt/offended and just keep repeating "DS needs the accommodation to be provided consistently and without retaliatory behavior and comments in order to access his education" and that "DS's strength and endurance are not to be remediated during class time rather we do that at OT time and with neurologists." I am thinking maybe I had better record this meeting as well.

Thoughts? Feeling rather depressed about this... I really do not understand. The accommodation has been accepted and put iin the IEP - why are they still arguing with me about it?

Maybe I am being too negative ... maybe he is calling the meeting to have everyone say "the right things"... Is that a possibility?

I wish the principal would answer you by email just as you hoped . I can see why you don't want another IEP meeting. I can't think on the spot that well when I'm at those meetings where I feel like everyone is against me. Then I get home and all those things I wanted / needed to talk about finally come to me and it's too late. But as long as they are still trying to work things out, I'd go to the meeting and try to keep your cool.

I don't think you need to ask if you can bring someone else. And it doesn't need to be a neutral third party. I think it would be great if it's someone in a suit who takes notes, and just introduce them by name and say he/she will be helping you take notes.

I agree the principal is trying to avoid putting your conversation in writing. But unless you have a reason to think he or she is underhanded, I wouldn't automatically assume that. It sounds like he took care of the para problem, for instance.

I think it sounds like you're wonderfully prepared and have logical, legal arguments to back your requests. Good luck to you!

I'm not clear why this merits another meeting. You were just following up on an action item from a previous IEP meeting. Maybe you could agree to meet if the principal thinks that there are issues for the team and then politely ask what issues he thinks still need to be addressed in the context of an IEP meeting so you can be prepared?

He wrote: "The team will gladly address further your concerns related to DS's IEP. Having been involved in or copied on prior e-mails related to DS's IEP document and/or the implementation of his IEP, I think it would serve everyone better if we were to hold such discussions in an IEP meeting rather than through e-mail. I believe it would be more effective in achieving a common understanding."

However, my email to him was not really "concern" - it was a reminder to them and to him as to what they are suppose to do ... The IEP accommodation is "provide a scribe for multiple written assessments and assignments." I basically said in my email, paraphrasing for simplicity: "Okay make sure you guys do what you are suppose to do, i.e, provide the scribe so he can access his education because it looks to mye by your statements and emails that you are not doing that consistently and that is unacceptable." And, 'remember, don't hold off until he is tired and don't try to push him to increase his stamina (as you have been saying that you do) b/c that is the OT and neurologist's job. Your job is to teach and provide him a scribe so he can learn.' And finally, 'if you can't do that and you can't provide a scribe who will be nice then we will need to file a complaint. so please do not put us in that position.'

I also asked how the meeting with the para went and maybe they should consider sending her to disability sensitivity training b/c I know they get money for that under my son's iep.

I said all of this SUPER NICELY and I mean I was just lovely

I am tempted to be like "no I don't have any concerns I think my email pretty much says it all perfectly but thanks anyway.' And my really angry side felt like saying "oh and by the way you can't tell me I am not permitted to communicate with you to document violations and our agreements!

I agree ... I do have a lawyer in mind that I have met who specializes this work. I am seriously considering bringing him (but I would have to pay him). It seems annoying though as I am a lawyer and they know that, I have the law on my side and I have showed that I know the law and I know it's on my side and they are still pulling this crap. I know the guy I would bring would shut them down nicely, this is his specialty but it would suck to have pay a bunch of money for something I should be able to do myself! They are simply not fazed by me at all!