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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 47
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 47 |
Thanks for the kind words! As I am sure you can relate to, it's weird being Graham's mom these days.
I am very active on a "birth club" message board, filled with women who all gave birth in July 2005, so all of our kids are the same age. there are about 150 women who post regularly. My son is the only one who is reading. Not just recognizing letters, but reading whole books. Ten Apples Up on Top is a new favorite. His favorite toy is a calculator with big, over sized buttons that my sister-in-law bought for him.
It can be very isolating, but also very exciting at the same time. Every day and with every conversation I have with him, I come around more and more to the reality that he is a very different kind of little boy. And he probably always will be very different. As much as I want to unequivocally encourage his intellectual growth in whatever direction it takes him, I also REALLY want him to be happy, socially.
So I am feeling my way around as an advocate with him...every day presents a new challenge. Last week it was trying, without seeming boastful or delusional, to convince the children's librarian at our local library that I needed help finding early reading books for Graham. She sort of blew me off until she saw him sight reading with her own eyes. Her reaction made me laugh.
Mamabird, I know our kiddos are young, but have you begun to consider how you are going to handle school? I think about that almost daily and really wonder what the right thing to do is.
Anyway, I'm rambling. Hello to you and glad to see you here!
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,145
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,145 |
As much as I want to unequivocally encourage his intellectual growth in whatever direction it takes him, I also REALLY want him to be happy, socially. Yup. It's just that for GT kids, the intellectual growth is usually required for the social and emotional development to occur. These kids just aren't happy if they're not learning. Despite what the rest of the world thinks, the kids who take calculus at 12 or whatever are rarely doing it because their parents are pushy stage-mom types. They're doing it because they HAVE to do it in order to be reasonably happy people who aren't impossible to be around. Most of us parents are being dragged forward kicking and screaming, not trying to make these kids go faster! I know my long-term goals for my DS6 are for him to be a happy, healthy (emotionally as well as physically), productive member of society. But to be happy and emotionally healthy now, he must be challenged, and I am pretty sure it will always be that way for him. It's good that you can smile at the librarian. I hope you continue to keep that great attitude. ![smile smile](/bb/images/graemlins/default/smile.gif) Some days it's easy and some days it's...not. Attitudes toward GT kids vary so wildly in the real world. Some people are downright weird about them. Even some people who should really know better. Anyway, hi! ![laugh laugh](/bb/images/graemlins/default/laugh.gif)
Kriston
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,231
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,231 |
Hi Catherine,
I really like manipulatives for your son's age. We had these little plastic bears of two different colors. There are so many ways you can play with them to develop number sense. Your son will probably love to play math games using them.
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 46
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 46 |
Mamabird, I know our kiddos are young, but have you begun to consider how you are going to handle school? I think about that almost daily and really wonder what the right thing to do is. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), I have. My son was born 3 weeks after the kindergarten cut off in our District. Previously they had been very strict about this date and wouldn't even consider early entrance kindergarten. Now however, they have a system in place where if your child attends preschool and there preschool will give a recommendation they can be considered for early entrance. At that point they would do testing more complex than the normal kindergarten screening to decide if they are indeed ready or not. He currently goes to an in-home daycare, as I work full time. I have been looking into preschools/Montessori schools in the area as I think that early entrance is probably going to be the best first option for us. My son is actually very good socially and I am hoping this will help him in the public school system. He loves going to daycare and playing with other kids. At this point I am kind of taking a wait and see approach. It feels like he is learning new things all the time and asks such amazing questions and retains whatever it is that we give him for an answer. I still keep thinking that maybe it will slow down and I am worrying about nothing. (Anyone smelling some serious denial) How about you Catherine, have you though about schooling yet?
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,145
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,145 |
I still keep thinking that maybe it will slow down and I am worrying about nothing. (Anyone smelling some serious denial) <sniff, sniff> Yup, that's what it smells like, mamabird! ![grin grin](/bb/images/graemlins/default/grin.gif) I feel compelled to give my standard warning about preschools: they can promise you the moon to get you in the door, but that doesn't mean that they have any comprehension of GTness, that they'll recognize it when they see it, or that they'll give your child what s/he needs. They also tend to feel less compelled to actually teach a child anything because it's "just" preschool. The old saw "Just let him/her be a kid" is common in pre-K, unfortunately. A non-academic pre-K can work well if the child has the time to explore academic interests outside of preschool. That means that half-day in a non-academing setting is probably better for most HG+ kids than full-day. Pre-K becomes social time, not "school" per se. Montessori can work if the teacher gets the child and allows him/her to advance. Some do a wonderful job with this and are a great start to the school years. But please be aware that some say they start a child where s/he is, but they don't live up to their promises. We had terrible luck with this for the first half of DS6's 4yo year of Montessori pre-K. DS was reading books quite proficiently and had been reading books for the better part of a full year, so I asked if they would start him where he was or if he'd have to jump through all the pre-reading hoops. They promised me the moon, but they started him at pre-reading anyway. I advocated gently for MONTHS! But it wasn't until DH joined me at the Jan. parent-teacher conference and insisted that they shape up that the school FINALLY got it and moved him up. DS progressed quickly after that, but their midterm report on him is laughable to read now. They thought he was BEHIND in the area of language arts because he never did anything in the LA area. Well, no, not if you're making him do things he could do half his life ago! Duh! DH and I still call any hoop that must be gotten through but is far below a child's developmental readiness a "letter box," after the Montessori teaching tool that the school wouldn't let DS skip. It was a really frustrating year. I'm not alone in this sort of negative experience, though some here love the Montessori experience for their kids, so it all depends completely upon the particulars of school and teacher. <shrug> Just be aware that any highly academic preschool could be trouble if they are unprepared for a child who is so far ahead of their curriculum. You need more than promises that they understand. You need them to deliver! FWIW, I'd probably pick a non-academic half-day pre-K over a highly academic all-day one unless I was SURE my child's needs were completely understood and would be supported at the academic pre-K. If they don't understand LOGs, I think you'll have trouble. Maybe that helps some...I remember how hard it was to choose that first pre-K program, and that was when I was still deep in GT denial. If I had realized that DS was HG+, I think I would have been just about paralyzed! If we can help, just ask! ![smile smile](/bb/images/graemlins/default/smile.gif)
Kriston
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 485
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We are also making the best out of a Montessori school situation. Although it's not a classroom utopia I highly agree with the statement that it's about the teacher and not as much about the school. My son has asked and receiving harder work.
Our most recent example is with the division board work that they recently brought out. The children get a piece of paper with 5 problem and they must solve them using bunnies and giving each bunny the correct amount of eggs to divide to total number of eggs equally. My son quickly grew tired of the repetitiveness of the activity and started asking the teacher for harder problems with remainders instead of doing the problems with whole number answers. This is one simple way that they are able to use the same materials for all the children but make my son's more challenging.
*On a side note I am doing a happy dance since finding out that the one teacher who doesn't really get my son is leaving at the end of May. That was one of the hold ups about sending him there for next year. Since it was a small school with only 3 teachers--this one teacher was weighing heavily on my decision.
Crisc
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 46
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 46 |
You are crushing all my easy plans Kriston!! ...although I had a feeling someone would probably pipe up and tell me this. We actually have a Montessori school near our neighborhood that sounds very good. My mom works in the school district here (she was a teacher for about 15 years and now she is a "coach" for the teachers). Several coaches and teachers that she works with send their kids to this Montessori and they love it. Granted, I don't think their children are at the level my son is at, but it is somewhat encouraging to me. I really don't know what to think. One of my friends at work has a 12yo daughter that they just found out is PG. She knew all along that she was different, but never knew how different she really was. She is strongly encouraging me everyday to start thinking about these things and researching possibilities. It seems like so much to think about when my son is only 2 1/2. You all don't know how much you have helped me already, and I will continue to come back for more! As we delve further into this process I am sure I will have lots of questions to ask, so thanks for the offer Kriston. ![smile smile](/bb/images/graemlins/default/smile.gif)
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 47
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 47 |
I still keep thinking that maybe it will slow down and I am worrying about nothing. (Anyone smelling some serious denial) Yes, yes, yes. *raises hand, waving wildly* Ahem. The school thing absolutely scares me to death. To. Death. For all the reasons Kriston went into. Right now, I work full-time and Graham goes to a Goddard School...which is an private daycare/school that is NOT entirely play based. They do a bit of academic curriculum with the kids and actually have a certified private Kindergarten. I have met with the directors and we have had very frank discussions about Graham. They seem confident that they and their teachers can do a differentiated curriculum for him beginning this fall (they are about to go into Summer Camp mode which is play and field trips and not much academics at all). The school tells me that they had a GT student go through their Kindergarten class several years ago and have had experience doing differentiated plans for GT kids. My plan is to ask for that student's parents name/number and try and talk with them about their child's experience at this school. It's all so overwhelming and school decisions seem so far away, but they are not at all. I need to wrap my brain around the fact that he's not my wee baby anymore and figure out what to do. It's overwhelming.
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 46
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 46 |
The school thing absolutely scares me to death. To. Death....
It's all so overwhelming and school decisions seem so far away, but they are not at all. I need to wrap my brain around the fact that he's not my wee baby anymore and figure out what to do.
It's overwhelming. I am so glad I am not the only "crazy mom" freaking out about school that is still 2 years away. DH and I were actually going to try to conceive another this fall, but have put those plans on hold until we have a better grasp of what we are going to do with schooling for DS. It feels a bit extreme, but we finally came to the conclusion that DS makes our life a bit extreme! ![smile smile](/bb/images/graemlins/default/smile.gif)
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,145
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,145 |
Oh, I really, REALLY hate to be the one to stomp all over your safe little GT denial! BTDT, and coming out of the comfort of that denial into the cold light of reality is no fun! But let me reassure you that you are SO MUCH FURTHER AHEAD than I was! When DS6 was 2.5yo, I was nowhere near realizing what was up with him. I thought he was "just" MG and would be easy to guide through school. But knowing what you're in for is really half the battle. You can be prepared. I wasn't. Honest, you're doing great, mamabird! ![laugh laugh](/bb/images/graemlins/default/laugh.gif) (And you, too, Catherine!) My best advice is to talk to the school a LOT! Ask a lot of questions and listen hard for what they're not saying. Visit the school more than once. Don't accept the pat answers that all schools like to give out. Once you've developed a good repoire with the school, bring up the verboten topic of GTness in a vague way. Ask if they have had kids who are well ahead of their curriculum in the past and can you talk to the parents of those kids. Don't start here, and only introduce the word GT to the discussion when you've found out all else that you need to know, since many educators brand you as "one of those parents" and tune you out immediately when you say the word GT. Sad, but true. I did really none of these things, and it's why we had the trouble we had with pre-K. DS6 still enjoyed preschool, so it's not like it was a total loss. It was mostly social for him, and that was useful. But I wish I had come out of my GT denial earlier, and I wish that someone had given me the advice I just gave you. You two are doing great! Don't let my gentle cautions worry you. ![laugh laugh](/bb/images/graemlins/default/laugh.gif)
Kriston
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