|
0 members (),
148
guests, and
128
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
S |
M |
T |
W |
T |
F |
S |
|
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 2,856
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 2,856 |
Competitiveness can be a very positive trait, as long as it's not taken too far. It's when "win" translates to "win at all costs" or "winning is all that matters" that things tend to go badly. See broken down pro athletes, Congress, and Wall Street.
Like Jon Law, I took great pleasure in beating my classmates. Unlike Jon Law, I had a deeper motivation beyond that, so not winning wasn't really a big deal to me. And ultimately, I saw the race to valedictorian as a Wargames scenario - the only way to win the game is not to play.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,007
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,007 |
Like Jon Law, I took great pleasure in beating my classmates. Unlike Jon Law, I had a deeper motivation beyond that, so not winning wasn't really a big deal to me. And ultimately, I saw the race to valedictorian as a Wargames scenario - the only way to win the game is not to play. Granted, my approach was "the only way to win the game is to break the rules." I knew I had to toss out the entire "Winning!" thingy. The problem is that I never replaced it with anything. I tried active failure/self-sabotage during college, which didn't really solve anything and eventually got old. I also tried the "not really caring" in law school. I actually declined to complete what they presented as a core requirement to see what would happen. They just changed the system so that I could complete it. Interesting. I'm pretty good at vacillating between passivity/avoidance and periodic self-sabotage these days. I still need some sort of overarching intrinsically motivated purpose to cohere around. I will say that my initial "breaking the rules" approach is quite useful with bureaucracies.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 89
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 89 |
I would guess intrinsic motivation, curiosity and the individual's perception of the importance of the activity or knowledge, locus of control, societal values influence a person's motivation.
I think intrinsic motivation and curiosity are important and probably have strong environmental influences, and these are things that can be modulated by families and teachers.
I think societal values will also influence motivation. If no one around you thinks that soccer is fun, you will be less likely to like soccer. In cases where you have interests that no one around you seems to share, it must be rewarding for a reason and that reason may be that it provides intrinsically rewarding stimulation that you don't receive elsewhere. Similarly, if you think that learning is important, you will be more motivated to learn. If you have books in your house, you will be more likely to think the information in the books is important to know, or if you go to a museum with parents and siblings who stop to discuss the exhibits you will be more likely to learn that the topics are important.
I think the expectations of authority figures probably have some influence (if they think you are capable versus not capable ) and I assume this relates to locus of control. If you don't think you can, you won't be as likely to try. Similarly, if too much of your self-esteem is tied into an activity, I think that can be a negative factor in terms of performance because the consequences of failure are amplified.
Last edited by MotherofToddler; 02/22/13 09:55 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,478
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,478 |
I still need some sort of overarching intrinsically motivated purpose to cohere around. Is accumulating counter-examples something one could be intrinsically motivated about?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 2,513 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 2,513 Likes: 1 |
I'm glad to hear though that someone else agrees that competition isn't a horrible motivator... I was feeling a bit guilty.  Nah, competition within reason can be a healthy stressor. Just be mindful that turning focus inward doesn't become a race to perfectionism, though-- that's why I suggest process and outcome both be acknowledged.
What is to give light must endure burning.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 89
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 89 |
In terms of "How do you help your child get motivated" I don't have experience but I think modeling an interest in continued learning, helping children through topics/subjects in which they struggle in a positive manner, praising the effort rather than innate qualities, allow them to follow their own interests and be well-rounded, limit use of bribes, have realistic expectations.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 89
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 89 |
I was thinking about this a little more and other big, obvious factors related to motivation would be whether basic needs were met (child is not hungry, sleepy, abused), and things like ability to deal with frustration and ability to self-regulate.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 89
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 89 |
We have tried to offer no rewards since DD was born under this same presumption. However, we are extremely tempted (and occasionally give in) to offer rewards as it works insanely well.
Even better than rewards for DD? Competition. Is that horrible? She is so incredibly competitive that we go through the day competing with her to get her to do the things she needs to do. If we want her to go potty we just say "I need to go potty and I'm going first!" or "sissy is going to go before you!" she laughs and runs to be first. For reading she starts screaming, "Aaaahhh MOM, Giraffe (her stuffed animal) is READING!!!" then she speaks in a deep voice for Giraffe saying he has found a book and is going to read without her. She then lets out a horrific scream and runs and tries to find a book and read before her stuffed animal to which she expects me to assume the role of the deep-voiced mammal. If we are playing a board game, I play full-on and we seriously get into it. It's like this the. whole. day. I worry what I am instilling in her with all of this competition. She was the instigator of the competition but I still feel like I am encouraging it by taking advantage of her insane need to compete.
She attends a Montessori in the afternoons for a few hours each day and of course they are totally non-competitive... so who knows what happens there.
What are you're thoughts on this?
Feel free to be brutally honest... but also offer suggestions.
Is being extremely competitive a negative or positive trait? I think the competition you are describing is fine because it's part of play. If it were tied to strongly to her self-esteem that would be different but if you are doing it playfully and laughing, then it sounds healthy to me. It sounds like winning is helping her become more confident and that is a great thing, as long as she can also handle losing too as she gets older.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,181
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,181 |
I still need some sort of overarching intrinsically motivated purpose to cohere around. Is accumulating counter-examples something one could be intrinsically motivated about? Works for my family. 
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,007
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,007 |
I'm glad to hear though that someone else agrees that competition isn't a horrible motivator... I was feeling a bit guilty. Nah, competition within reason can be a healthy stressor. Just be mindful that turning focus inward doesn't become a race to perfectionism, though-- that's why I suggest process and outcome both be acknowledged. I was more thinking along the lines of turning focus outward to become an hostile race toward personal destruction of the competition, kind of a private cointelpro. I'm thinking of Election, the 1999 movie with that Ferris Bueller guy. You know, I watched Ferris Bueller's day off way, way too many times.
|
|
|
|
|
