Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Can I get your opinion -updated need resources

I hate to be a pest but this is really new territory for me and I have found your support,knowledge,and experience to be invaluable.

This letter is in response to DS5's principal regarding the email discussed here. I am trying to get at the root problem here but am not sure I'm going about it appropriately,clearly and respectfully.


Principal,

Thank you for getting back to me regarding this subject. I appreciate the effort that you are making on DS5's behalf. DS5 does say that he is a happier in Ms. W's class. He finds the interactions more interesting and enjoys the fat that Ms. C allows him to write number sentences/equations on a dry erase board if he finishes his work. However he still says that he doesn't feel like he is learning anything new. I will set up a conference with Ms. E, like you suggested,should Ms. W or anyone else also be at this conference?

I'm finding myself uncertain as to what can be done in this system. I enjoy, and am thankful for, our pleasant and collaborative relationship. I would hate to see it turned antagonistic because of misunderstanding or miscommunication. I am hoping that you could explain a couple of things to me so I will be aware of any necessary school policies and understand where the school is coming from in the future. I appreciate your patience in this matter.

- Why do you not test/assess children past one year ahead in reading and the current level in math? As a parent I want you to see/know my child and I believe that the school would like to also. I am confused as to why the discovery process is stopped before this has been fully accomplished.

and

- Is subject matter acceleration, participating in an out of grade class, something that is an option? Is full grade acceleration an option? Is there a reason why you might feel that either of these is not a reasonable option to consider. I would love to hear your view/opinion on these as I am not an educator myself. I understand that you have a wealth of experience in this area and I like to be well informed when trying to make any decision, especially one concerning my son's education and well being.

I understand that we are but one family out of 700+ that are your responsibility but I also hope that as an elementary school parent yourself you are familiar with the need to communicate and work with the school if you find that your child is not feeling excited or challenged with their education.

I look forward to continuing this dialogue with you and continuing to work towards DS5's best interests.

Thank you!

Eibbed



What do you think? Do you view this as an antagonistic letter? Should I cc anyone on this is of just leave it at the principal?

I think it is smart of you to acknowledge in your letter that they have a lot of experience with educating a lot of children and that you would like to hear their thoughts and experiences. However, I think you go a little too far with buttering them up and that you sell yourself short regarding your knowledge of acceleration and knowledge of your son. I wouldn't be so quick to come right out and say that they have a wealth of experience with acceleration, when they really may not (and may, in fact, have biases against it not from experience but from lack of experience).

I really like the part about working as a team and continuing the collaborative relationship. And I like that you thank them right off the bat for working with you in the past and for continuing to work with you.

Also, when you ask about assessing beyond one grade level above, I would specifically ask that your DS be assessed beyond that, perhaps until he gets less than 85% (or so) on an above-level test. And maybe ask for it in all subjects in which your DS excels.

Good luck with continuing the process. I hope your letter moves things farther forward.

mnmom23 - I had been thinking more along the lines of a wealth of experience with elementary kids in general. I'll have to go back and look at that. This letter is in response to the school saying that they would not test/assess DS5 to find out his full capability so that is why it is not included here. I'm asking for clarification as to why they won't.

A few typos to fix: "enjoys the fact" not the "fat", "you suggested; should", not "you suggested,should", and "to consider?", not "to consider."

I would take out the line about "I would hate to see it turned antagonistic because of misunderstanding or miscommunication." I think it's a little threatening to state it that way, and the context of "I love how collaborative this is" is clear enough.

Personally, I like "Thank you for all that you do for my child and for all of the children at xxx school," as a last line, instead of just "Thank you," but YMMV on that.

I'll add to the corrections ... this sentence is missing something .. "DS5 does say that he is a happier in Ms. W's class."

Also, addressing the principal simply as "Principal," would probably rub me the wrong way if I was the principal.

... I can't wait to see what response they'll have for you. We'll be in your shoes soon so I am getting inspiration from all of you who are a year ahead of us! Good luck!

I would leave out the line about "as I am not an educator myself." That may be true, but I think you're setting yourself up if you do that. We had that experience with a school principal who said she didn't care what the research said, she didn't believe in skipping-- and btw, she hadn't read the research. This was after the DISTRICT approved a skip for my son to her school.

I think you're right to press for an answer to why they won't determine what your son's actual level is-- that's invaluable to teaching him something new. But I think you could also ask, "If you don't know where he's starting, how can you be assured he'll have a full year's growth in a year's time?"

Good luck with your meeting. You seem like you're approaching it very respectfully, and I think that will go a long way.

ElizabethN - Thanks for catching the typos. I had caught one or two of them but not all. My DH also said to take out the sentence "I would hate to see it turned antagonistic because of misunderstanding or miscommunication." for the exact same reason.

Mk13 - I addressed the email with the the principal's name. I used "Principal" here as a name replacement. I'll be sure to update when I get a response.

Eibbed, sorry if this is a stupid question but is it possible to meet with the principal in person to discuss the issues instead of sending a letter? I ask because the principal could take the letter in a good way or bad, depending on his/her personality, the mood he is in, etc. While your letter is polite, if the school has dumb policies that the principal feels he needs to defend, he will find a polite response to your letter that quotes the policies and shuts the options for you. Maybe a meeting to hear what he really thinks and discuss options, followed by a letter detailing the agreed plan might be a better approach. Again, sorry if you already considered this and dismissed it.

Lovemydd - I've already sent the letter. What will be will be.

I did not suggest meeting with him in person because we have already met twice and when I suggested meeting about my math concerns he was not interested. I would love to sit down and actually have a real conversation about this. I think email is so slow and you can't always tell what people actually mean with the absence of tone of voice and body language. However with that said I am easily intimidated and I might not get out what I am actually thinking in a face to face conversation if it appears like they are dismissive or defensive.

I will be very disappointed if he takes offense or blows me off. My intention is really to understand where they're coming from. I am not a confrontational person by nature and if there is a way to work with them I'd like to know what it is.

Hope your letter gets you the response that you are not only hoping for but you deserve. It is sad that the school is not willing to just provide the answers to your most basic questions. Best and keep us posted.