Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Siblings

Looking for BTDT type stuff, mainly, but wild brainstorming will do...

How did you guys manage to keep two kids interested at the same time?

DS3.5yrs is obsessed with science kits and building paper car/Phanerozoic (wow, that was autocorrect for airplane, that's too good to fix) models right now, which need supervision. Also the marble run, but DS1 still puts stuff in his mouth too much to have the marbles out when he's not asleep.

DS1yr is obsessed with being read to, flipping lightswitches, running, drinking from waterfountains, and eating my face. (he's still a generalist, I guess).

DS1 has just dropped to one nap only, and doesn't take it unless life is boring. Which means, for example, not at the Science Center.

Basically, they both feel they need me, all the time, if only for my fine motor skills and ladder-like ability to get them to high objects.

They both flip out totally and become Zhombies out for brains if they feel understimulated for, oh, more than 2.7 seconds or so.

Activities with roles for each of a 1&3 yr old?
Activities like the aforementioned which can be done with Less or no help? (did I mention the glue gun problem. DS3.5 is also obsessed with Arts and crafts involving glue guns.)
Ways to draw chemistry diagrams using a one-year-old as a drawing instrument?
Ways to build circuits using a one-year-old as... wait, no, not that one...

Anything?

Please?

Sincerely,
Mich.

Honestly we never really solved this problem, possibly though in part because our gaps were larger (4y4m and 3y8m respectively). Partly this meant the difference in needs was more extreme, partly the older child had slightly better skills at self entertaining/managing, partly 2nd & 3rd pregnancies were so bad that the preschool aged sibling was in preschool 4 days a week full hours by the end (because preschool was more fun than very sick mummy) and both times it seemed crazy to reduce preschool once the baby came as they were then so close to full time school. I realize that this post is useless, but i do feel your pain.

Mine were (are, lol) 19 months apart. I was very lucky because I had a needy one (DD) and an independent one (DS). DD was obsessive about books, while DS was obsessive about mechanical/electronic things. As a result we spent much of our time with DD and books on my lap and DS and toys on the floor at my feet. He loved anything with movable parts that you could take apart, as well as anything countable, as well as electronic phonics stuff like the word whammer and the alphabet pal. Neither one was keen about messy stuff (i.e. finger painting) so that made life easier.

Wow - I have BTDT. I don't know how I made it - but it does get better. If you can at all swing it, see if you can get a sitter even for a few hours it is a sanity changer. It does not need to be a highly qualified nanny - just a 14 year old kid (cheaper) who can manage the glue gun situation while you keep the one year old from choking on stuff would work.

Option 2 - (yes I know it is bad to use the TV as a sitter - but dinner needs to get made and the laundry will not do itself) - signing time is a good option for this age.

We had a nature center near our house which was fairly good for both that age - they had a crawl area for the 1 year old which was just next to the toddler play area.

BTDT. Spend a lot of time in the park. Get a part time job so they can go to day are (not really I worked because I had too). Try and insist on the nap for the younger - put him in his cot with something to do. Find a few DVDs you can stand. Encourage the children to play together although it won't work that well for a year or 2. Build a sandpit. Put a gate on the bedroom door so your older have quiet play time. Explain to the older that if he can't do what he is doing without your constant assistance then he is not ready to do it. Good luck.

I guess I ended up mostly catering to the older one for a while but also modifying things to work for both. Like instead of playing with little Legos I made my son play with duplos for a while. Or building marble tracks with no marbles until the very end. Also I probably just enforced rules more and taught the younger one to stop putting things in her mouth sooner. I would set the older one up doing something and then play with the younger one nearby and only help the older one when necessary. Also I have a baby gate thing I could put the younger one in and get 15 min at a time with the older one. It's hard!

I am in this boat at present. Two girls, 3y 3months, and 22 months. We have a foot of snow so dual outside play isn't an easy option right now - we get out a little on weekends.

Fortunately my girls are starting to play together more. Even 20 minutes of them chasing each other is often enough for me to do something else for a moment (sometimes it is just staring into space).

I also split up their time - they both aren't always with me. Older DD goes to preschool 3 hrs M-F, younger to day care most days(but she is also home frequently w/some ongoing health stuff). I am getting my master's, so I need time for school (1 semester left, yay). When it's done, I'll be returning to work...


It can get crazy when they are both here. If your 1 yr old can follow directions, engage that. He's going to probably be in helpful phase soon, so have him sweep or carry things to the trash or whatever. Yesterday I had both of them going for about a half hour with an active for them game where I'd say swing your trunk like an elephant, hop like a frog etc. They enjoy playing doctor/patient, mother/child, teacher/student with me or just themselves. My one year old isn't always getting it, but she catches on to some of these pretty fast.

Both enjoy play kitchen cooking, and we have them make us stuff all the time (soup, tea, doughnuts, anything we think of). The play kitchen we got from someone getting rid of theirs, cleaned it up, and stocked with new fake food.

Certain activities for the older are only done when little is not home, like scissor cutting, gluing poms/sequins/small crafts. Other things they do together even if the "age" isn't officially ok for the younger, like painting, crayons, markers, sorting things I know she won't eat... We do some cooking projects 1ce a week or so too.

Older is permitted to play preschool games with my iPad at times when younger is napping or not home. They both watch Signing Time videos and a few other shows.

Finally, I have a high school aged mother's helper 2x a week during dinner when my husband works late.

Hope this may give you a few ideas.

Hmmmm. Ok. Keep em coming?

I guess I need to call the Mother's helper who used to come!

Preschool does not work. We're actually kinda terrified of Kindergarten, which starts in sept for the older, because of how problematic preschool has been.

DS1 is 13 mos, it's going to be while before he stops putting stuff in his mouth, no matter what I do...

We're definitly overdoing TV and video games. But at least the older one tends to be into stuff I'm reasonably comfortable with like Zoboomafo and Mega Builders. I don't really let the younger one watch much, but he does like anything with animals!

I'm less trying to get laundry time, and more trying to get a way to not have double focus constantly, it makes me crazy.

Oh, I hope K works out ok!!!!

Hmm, there's one quick thing both my girls have loved doing as of late... TV like but a bit more interactive because we discuss... YouTube.

We've watched short videos of dozens of types of instruments, old music group clips, dance routines, and wildlife.
Tonight we watched videos on sidewinder snakes and beetles. Both love it.

I'll keep thinking.

I stayed at home with my kids when they were small, and here is my been there done that, although your mileage may very:

1. Enforced Quiet Time: my kids stopped napping long before I did, but it didn't change the fact that I needed a break from the constant demands and they needed quiet time to recharge their batteries and not get over-stimulated. They didn't have to sleep, but they could choose 5 quiet things to take to bed with them. It usually bought me an hour of respite.

2. Used Toys: garage sales or thrift stores were my friend. I would turn in toys the kids no longer played with and bought new ones every couple of months - especially small characters, cars, etc. The kids were encouraged to find new ways to use them, and they would build new worlds in our living room. The toys were rarely used for their originally intended purpose. Their favorites were wooden train tracks, hot wheels tracks, etc.

3. No. I used no a lot to draw boundaries on how accessible I was. I did not hop to their beck and call when it was out of boredom or something they could solve. You'll have to wait five minutes while I finish this. Not right now; Mommy is working in the kitchen. Later. Find something else to do. These phrases were my friend. After they quit begging and letting me know how I'd ruined their lives, they usually went off and solved their own problem or found something else to do.