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    Joined: Jan 2012
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    Originally Posted by Val
    Can you go with her on the next trip?

    Very late at replying, it's been a busy holiday. smile

    Unfortunately I can't go b/c I have my younger dd at home and dh travels for work.

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    Originally Posted by polarbear
    I don't think that she can be kicked out, but I wonder if perhaps it's not the school to have her in if her anxiety is debilitating to the extent that she's worrying (actively and frequently) about the trip this far in advance?

    Two of my kids go to a school that has end-of-year overnight trips that increase in length as the kids progress to upper level grades. It's an integral part of the school's curriculum, but I do know of at least one child who didn't participate last year (not due to anxiety, due to parent concerns about the appropriateness of sending a child that age away overnight without a parent). The thing that happens at our school is that the trip gets mingled in with the curriculum toward the end of the year - the students are involved in projects that are part of the trip and require pre-planning (and very cool learning). As well as the projects, there's a lot of anticipation on the part of the kids who are going. If you think your dd isn't ever going to be comfortable with this type of experience imbedded into school, and if it evolves the way the trips at our school evolve, I would seriously consider that the principal's request is valid and possibly consider transferring my dd to a different school next year.

    OTOH, I think the trips can be a wonderful experience for children to overcome anxieties about travel, being away from parents etc and can build toward independence (as well as be great learning experiences and a lot of fun). My dd10 is very anxious about her trip but we talk about it ahead of time and she doesn't know it's not an option (she might opt to not go if she did). I am not comparing her to your dd - my dd does not have severe anxiety across the board, but she gets anxious about being away from us and about new experiences (and being on stage).... so we work on having her go through those experiences so she can realize that she can. Again, I wouldn't do this for a child who is struggling with severe, across-the-board-anxiety - but if that was the case, I also would worry about leaving them in the program where an end-of-year trip is part of the curriculum based on our experiences at our school.

    I also don't know if you'd run into this issue with the school or not, but I'm guessing this is an optional/charter school... and in our district the optional/charter schools can to a certain extent determine their own school policies. They are still federally funded and have to follow Federal Law, but I can imagine (just based on our charter school experiences where we live) that the school might be able to pursuade a family to not attend if they wouldn't agree to the trip.. and that it might be difficult to argue FAPE was being denied in this type of case.

    polarbear

    It's a magnet school. I do think if we could work through this it would be good for her. We are starting CBT and working on trying to help her through the anxiety. If things don't improve before this trip I don't think I will force her to go. The next one is a science trip so I know she would like it. Her biggest difficultly is nighttime/bedtime, which is a problem even at home and we give her melatonin to help her fall asleep. Maybe I will see if we can have her ped write a med release for her to have it while she's there.


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    I wanted to add, I don't know how much longer she will be at this school. We just got her report card and she is not on track to meet the end of year target in math. If you look through my previous posts you will see that this has been an ongoing battle to get her an IEP and the school has refused (I suspect she has dyscalculia). Her teacher says she has very poor number sense. Yet her nonverbal scores on the WISC are her strength. So we may be pulling her out at the end of this year if they don't decide to finally do something. She is just falling further and further behind.

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    Hey, personally, I listen to my gut on this kind of thing.

    I'd let them THINK that she's going, and then, if you feel it just isn't a good idea...

    you DO ultimately have the authority to not send her. Send a note excusing her due to "illness."

    (They don't need to know that this means... I felt just SICK about this activity when I really thought it through... )


    Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
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