Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion gifted siblings ... do they get along?

I was just thinking ... seeing my two boys being so different ... DS4 wanting to be social but not knowing how to go about it .... and DS2.7 being very anti-social for now. They don't play together, they more so "tolerate" each other and for about an hour a day play in my younger one's room next to each other and actually seem to be having fun. But thinking about the future, I'm guessing both of them will have probably problems finding friends and my one big hope is, being "different" from many of their age mates maybe they will be each other's friends??? I sure hope so! I can see even now while they don't play together, they seem to "understand" each other ... how are your sibling kids? especially if they are close in age? (mine are 1.5 years apart)

My two are 19 months apart, and are opposite gender so that may affect the dynamic. In any case, there are times when they band together and are best of friends because not many other kids understand or can relate to their intensities (for example, they both take "silly" WAY over the top and alienate other kids, but together they have a blast). Other times the intensities work against them and maaaaan oh man do they fight. For the most part, though, they get along really well. FWIW, their personalities are quite different from each other's as well.

I have a 10.5yr old that may (or may not) be MG and has a fistful of other E's, a 6yr old who is HG+ and has a few minor quirks, but is far and away my "easy" child, and 2.5yr old tornado that is almost certainly HG+... The older two are great friends and developmentally the gap is probably closer to 2yrs than the actual 4.5yr age gap. The younger two also have a lovely time together. The eldest loves the youngest but doesn't really know how to interact with her so mostly expresses her love through anxiety over her sister's safety in public places... Basically miss HG+ middle child gets on well with both, while miss 2e eldest child needs the other child to do most of the work, as does the 2yr old (what withraring 2 and all) so they don't have much of a connection.

I have two children, my dd is older by 20 months and my two get along wonderfully.
Dd is high on compassion and patience. Ds is charming and easygoing. I hit the sibling jackpot.

I like the book "Mom, Jason's Breathing on Me" for sibling issues. It gives a great solution to bickering!

I have four. The elder pair got along about as well as any teenaged sisters (which is to say, alternately screaming at each other and being best buds, with a lot of clothes sharing/stealing involved). The two youngest, who are B/G twins, mostly ignore each other whenever possible.

thanks everyone! So, it sounds like chances are they'll be best buds at times but the usual siblings rivalry will be going on as well

If you want a book recommendation, I use the ideas of Siblings Without Rivalry almost every day. Mine are four years apart, so a different set of issues.

My brother and I were less than a year apart, and once we he was in preschool and I was in kindergarten, my mother says it was very smooth sailing, and she loved having us so close together. It made it much easier to plan activities, family vacations, etc., when we were both at about the same stage. So hang on for a couple more years - your reward is coming.

I've been thinking a lot about this since I'm expecting #2 (a girl) in January. My one brother is 2.5 years older than I am, we were not close growing up, and we're still not close. Because I looked up to him, I thought smart = mathy. My strengths are more verbal, which I translated as "not smart." We didn't fight but we didn't spend much time together either. My family moved frequently and my brother was off in his own world most of the time, so I was very lonely as a child. I'm hoping for a closer relationship between my own boy/girl pair despite a larger gap (39 months) between them.

I'm not sure if this is hijacking the thread, but I'm curious about our generation too, if others got along with their siblings while growing up.

not hijacking at all ... it's all part of my initial question in one way or another . My sister and I were 6 years apart (I'm the younger one) and it pretty much took first 30 years of my life and me living 5000 miles away from her and the rest of the family for the two of us to find common topics. While I was the "gifted" one, she was always the one making herself superior to others and I don't think he had one single thing in common at all when growing up. She never even tried to understand me and would always put me down. I remember her remarks telling my parents why did they make me the smart one and she had to be the one failing math. So, gifted or not, I always wanted to have kids really close in age to give them a better shot at being friends. And while the boys don't ever spend time with each other, they have an apparent bond that's really hard to describe but a lot of times my husband and I can really feel it

I have 5, the first 3 went to college at 14. DD16 and DD15 get along famously. They are 20 months' apart and I deliberately put them into the same sport and same classes, so they are very, very close and look out for each other. I was asked numerous times how they become so close. It was a deliberate action over many years.

DS18 and DS12 do not get along. DS18 has graduated from college and DS12 is my brightest child. These two are the brightest and have conflicting views all the time. According to my girls they are identical, though they do not see it.

DS18 and DS9 get along very well again! DS18 fetches DS9 where he needs to go.

DS12's best friend is DD15. Opposite gender but get along really well. Their personality match.

DS12 and DS9 bicker all the time over petty issues. I'd like to think it is just a process and if I am successful, they will get along like DD16 and DD15 in a few years. I recall the girls were like that too.

In short, this is just a process, I think they will ultimately get along and love each other, gifted or not, as long as we model how they should live together.