Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion HI!

Hi!

I though I would introduce myself. I live in MD and have a DD23, DS5, and DD3. I came across this board while looking for information on how to deal with DS5's school. He is in K and I am having a hard time getting anyone to listen to the fact that he might need some enrichment through differentiation in class. He doesn't show what he knows in class so I'm afraid I'm starting to come across as "that parent". We have not had testing done so we do not have an IQ or LOG but currently he seems to be a minimum of two grades ahead academically. My husband and I were discussing, last night, whether it was something that would be useful to have done and whether we wanted done. We both come from parents who believed that it was better not to know your IQ. I just want a happy and challenged child. This balance seems incredibly hard to come by in public school, maybe in any school.

I've already found this forum incredibly informative, thank you!

I agree with MON, check into what your school district's gifted program and policy are - you can usually find that info online. You can also (usually) ask for your school to test. Don't automatically assume that you have to wait until 3rd grade for group testing (I only mentioned 3rd grade because that's a common grade for mass-pull-out-gifted-type programs to begin).

The other thing I'd add is Kindergarten is a year where there are a lot of kids who are ahead of the curve and a lot of kids behind the curve - skills are all over the place depending on whether or not a child has gone to preschool or had exposure to reading/writing/math etc at home, and school is typical aiming at bringing the behind-the-curve kids up to speed while everyone is learning how to wait in a line and sit in circle etc. It can be an extremely frustrating time for *lots* of parents, not just parents of gifted kids, and there were quite a few "that parents" around when my kids were in Kindy - so you're looking at it as one parent advocating for one child, but the teachers have most likely had other parents also asking for the same thing, and that's probably where your brick wall in terms of response is coming from. The teacher really has no way of knowing if you are the parent of a truly gifted kid who is chomping at the bit for differentiation or if you're the parent of a typically average kid who's been to preschool and knows quite a bit of info but isn't really at the top of the curve intellectually. That's where having some kind of quantitative measure through testing can help tremendously in advocating. It's not easy being "that parent" but it *is* easier if you have data to use when advocating.

The other thing that will help is a little bit of patience. Even though it's a few months into school, it's still only a few months into kindergarten. Keep watching what work comes home, what the kids are doing in class, keep patiently asking for more when your ds needs it. Offering to help once a week in the classroom if you can by working with a group of kids who are at your ds' level in reading or writing or math is another way to advocate and show what your ds is capable of while providing him with a tiny bit of differentiation. In the meantime, the teacher is most likely watching to and he/she will begin to see your child standout in the areas he is ahead in and hopefully will begin to differentiate at some point. One key we've found with teachers through the years (advocating for both differentiation and for accommodations for 2e) is that each teacher always likes to have a period at the beginning of the year where they "get to know" the student before making decisions about classwork etc that are out of the norm.

Best wishes,

polarbear

Happy AND challenged?

Yeah, would be amazing, wouldn't it?

Great advice from MON and Polarbear. My sister is a Kindy teacher, and she says that parental bias in skill assessment can be a huge problem. So I think the reports of our kids often get thrown out "with the bathwater".

I am struggling with being the dreaded "that parent" for my ds who is in K. Trying to be patient. I know from the outside it probably makes no sense to be in such a "rush" to challenge. For me, I feel like we've been slowing him down since he was tiny to fit into preschool/preK, so more waiting is tough.

Eibbed,

When my older DD was 3, I checked the local elementary school and talked to some teachers and decided that Kinder would be a waste of time. My 2 DDs went to private preschool (pre K, K and 1st grade) and skipped K. When we registered, they have to take the test for grade skipping and start 1st grade at 5. It was seemless because we knew the policy of the school district. They were both happy in their 1st grade (for a while anyway). They still wanted to learn new stuffs and we did above grade level Maths at home.

It is real hard for the teachers to do differentiation in kinder. If your DS is at 2 grade above K, I would recommend applying for the grade skip (to the school). You don't have to dole out your money and some schools may not accept private testing result. They will let him take the test (usually IQ test and achievement test) and at least, you will know what his LOG is and can decide whether he should skip or not.

It's unfortunate that most Gifted programs do not start until 3rd grade. One admininstrator argue that the kids who learned early on were ahead in K but they will drop off and level with other kids around 3rd grade. Duh! If we are not differentiating, the gifted kids learn at slow pace (bored and frustrated), how are they going to progress? It's hopeless.

But DD8 is in 4th grade but her TAG Math is doing 5th grade level and DD10 (soon to be 11) is in 6th grade and her TAG Math is doing mid 7th grade and will finish the year at the end of 8th grade. Now, I don't have to do supplementing at home any more. If your school does real differntiation at 3rd or 4th grade, there's hope at the end of the tunnel.

Good luck!