Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Is this OCD behavior?

And should I be worried?

A couple of months ago, DS4 missed a couple weeks of preschool because of days off/illness. (He only has preschool 2 days/week.) He did not want to return after having so much time off, and he had episodes at the door of the preschool. He would only let go of me if he said "i love you mom" and kissed me about 20 times. I let him do this twice, then I told him he had to get all his i love you's out before we got the the door of his preschool room. Since then, he says "i love you mommy" on each step on the stairway down to his preschool room, and with each step he takes until we get there. At first, I told him that I loved him too, and he didn't have to say it so many times because I knew he loved me even if he didn't say it at all, but he still does it every day of preschool. I just ignore him. Other parents have seen this and said "how cute" and so I try not to look so irritated while I'm ignoring DS4. (Cute once, irritating when it's all the time.)

Should I be worried that this is an OCD behavior? Is there anything I should be doing besides ignoring him? Thanks!

My sons both do stuff like this. DS6 used to have a good night ritual that was so long that we finally just said, "No. Too much." He adapted.

If it's OCD, it's not the "interfere with life so you can't function" variety, so I don't think it's troubling. But mostly I think it's just stuff kids do. If it gets worse or begins to interfere with life, then worry. If not, then my inexpert advice would be to ignore it.

Thanks. Doesn't interfere with life so you can't function. OK, I'll remember that.

Now that you mention the bedtime ritual...DS used to fill his own sigg water bottle he keeps in bed with him. This was starting to become playtime for him instead of just filling the bottle before bed, so I took over. He insists that I rinse it 7 times, because that's what he did, and if he's not in the room with me when I do it, he is sure to ask me if i did it. ugh.

Again, I'm not at all an expert, but DS6 did just exactly this kind of stuff right around age 4-5. He has since outgrown it.

Seems normal to me. (But then who's to say my nutty kids are normal!)

LOL!

And I see you've changed location again, Dottie. Am I the first to notice this time? Do I win something?

Two of my kids have lots of this sort of behavior, and last time I looked neither one met any clinical definition of OCD. For my kids, I believe it's more of a sensory thing (both of them have sensory processing issues). With DD7, last year I ended up having to push her a bit to make some changes - making the goodbyes shorter (she was the only one in her K class whose parent walked them into the school building every day; she had a very specific goodbye ritual - I would get in trouble if I waved with the wrong hand, etc.). I would say that it's OCD-like, rather than being actual OCD. I try to leave her good night ritual alone for the most part, except I draw the line at her telling me where to stand when I wave - far too irritating (her father goes along with that, unfortunately). Now that she's at the end of first grade (or maybe it was the intensive OT program we did last fall, I'm not sure) she has come a long way. She still has me kiss her on a specific cheek, but the whole goodbye in car line is fairly quick.

Just chiming in to say that my 1st grader did this kind of ritual OCD behavior before kindergarten as well. A lot of it seemed to boil down to procrastination. He was just like that at preschool drop off. He seems to have outgrown it!

My 1st grader also did this sort of thing in pre-school. He'd "confess" every day when I picked him up all the things he had done. Now mind you, he virtually never got in trouble and the things weren't bad at all but it scared me pretty bad when he would do this. I basically would start talking first and get his mind off of it and eventually he did stop. He doesn't have any of this type of behavior now so I don't know if he just out grew it or what.

I have a relative that is OCD and it is something that has only gotten worse with time, not better. And it affects most aspects of life, not just something here or there like good-byes or going to bed. I don't know how you know it is OCD until it has continued on for a long time and does interfere with regular functioning in most aspects of life.

It sounds like many kids do exhibit this type of behavior at a young age, so yours will most likely out grow it as well. Or if it is in only 1 or 2 areas at an older age I wouldn't think it would be anything to worry about either.

(but I am definitely no expert on the subject)

Thanks all. I guess I feel a little better (?) after hearing that other kids do this stuff do. Actually, I feel bad for all the parents! And Dottie - i sure do hope it stops before dating time! What a thought.

We had a family playdate last Saturday. The other father is a psychiatrist, specialist in OCD. Just happened to see this program early that morning on the medication of children, for mental/emotional disorders. He said that the research is "too good" and thinks that regular child-like behaviors mimic all the psychiatric labels we put on them and you have to either let them work through it or, in the case of adolescent depression, help them cope.

So, in a gentle, joking manner, who has the OCD?