Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional IEP Question

See, I realize that BUT my problem is I do not trust that "behavioral specialists" or psychs at the school district righ now to truly understand about my sons particular disabilities and how that affects behavior. It's the same reason I do not trust the psychologist. It's like these people have autism/adhd/odd colored glasses on and constantly see behavior through that lens and it's too easy to mislabel my son. For example, at the WISC when he couldn't do the block design and other visual perception tests. I observed. At the conference when we discussed out observations, I said "I don't think he is seeing properly - I think there is a vison issue or LD" and they kept saying - saying "oh, no, that's not it he is so rigid in his thinking, it shows us he can't see things from others' persepctive." I said basically "something is wrong like vision or dyslexia or something and his anxiety is coming out because he is so intelligent stuck inside a body with an LD that no one understands so he is being treated like he is a behavior disorder." The psych said to me "I have been doing this for twenty years, I know what I am talking about and I htink you are way off base." Well, guess who was right? I was. Because she hasn't been "doing this for twenty years" with my son - she saw him for 20 minutes. Same with the computer example above post. Oh, he is resistant to tasks because he is defiant. Then when I look at the situation, it's not because he is defiant - it's because his visual motor integration level is so low and he is frustrated and feeling dumb and the adults around him don;t undertsand what the problem is either. And you tell these people this stuff and they still don't seem to fully get it... "we don't understand why Ben is so resistant to copying from the board. He is defiant and refuses follow directions" This happens enough that I simply do not trust behavioral specialist and psychologists at all. I just do not trust them anymore. Does that make sense? If I could being in a vision and OT to be the "behavioral support" and educate the teahers and staff, I would do it in a second because they together they usually immediately see the true why behind the behavior and know how to support my DS. But the other people, seem to full of autism/ODD/ADHD.

Another example with reading, my son would become so frustrated with reading his eyes would hurt and tear and he would rub them. One assistant kept saying "stop rubbing your eyes Ben!" acting like he was purposely being defiant or purposely being frustrating - "to avoid the task he was given." She said if he would stop rubbing his eyes like he was told they wouldn't be bothering him. DS beicmes irriate at not being believed and being treated unfairly. He bgins to resent said assisnt, said assistnat thinks DS nneeds to learn how to comly and "follow directions." When that happened in his eye testing the vision therapist knew immediately it was eye strain and that he needed a break. Do you see what I am saying? The assistant treated him like he autism or defiance or ewhatever and lept pushing him to his breaking point. Whern he really needed someone to take 5 seonds to see the kid's eyes really did hurt and he needed a break! and to be tretaed with respect! Even his teacher now, She had trouble with him reading one day - he was skipping words and losing his place. I had wrote her a long detailed email about his vision issues and the accompanying behavior and what he needs. And she is wonderful I do not mean to disparage her. But she emails me and tells me about it and says DS is upset because I want ot bput him on lower readng level and she thinks he is on a lower level because he was skipppong workds and struggling, etc. (which upset DS... but he did not act out about it he was just sad). She ended by saying the "print was fairly big so I do not think it's a vision issue." SIGH. So, I had lead her through the the following questions, (which I had hoped after educating her she would know to ask herself): How late in the day was it and how long had they been doing close-proximity work? (late afternoon) Was he or she pointing at the words with a finger as he read? (no) I said did he use his EZC reader? (no) I told what was up and what to do - he was suffering from fatigue and eyestrain, so I told her give him a break and use EZ reader or finger. He read fluently after that. Fortunately, the teacher and I talked and I was able to intervene. What normally would have happened is teacher would have moved DS down, would not understand/accomodate properly for DS's vision and Ds would become resentful and angry at feeling stupid and being misundertsood and then the behavior charts come out and the school psych comes out to force Ds to be more cooperative. And when Ds further detriorates and then "it's oh he has ______ disorder and needs "behavioral therapy or whatever." It is sooooooo frustrating! Teacher has his reports and my email and still she couldn't see what was immediately obvious to me. If some "behavioral specialist" goes into that situation and "supports" by treating him like he has a disorder that he does not and without truly understandering the impact his intelligence and his physical limitations have on him, I think it could rerally be disasterous for DS.

Am I making sense? Or am I crazy

And, btw, in my area it is so odd ---- diagnosois (at least of ASD and ADHD) are everywhere. They are not hard to get at all. I have friends in other areas/states who have the problem of not being able to get diagnoses that they feel their child truly needs.has. But here they seem to me to hand them out like candy bars. Our district is known for being good for autism and spectrum disorders - which is wonderful if you child truly has that issue.

I don't know. I am just so scared - DS has been misundertsand and mislabled so much already and he's only in first grade. I may be way off base and a FBA and Behavioral Specialist would be great and would truly understand/be knowlegeable. But I just can't risk it. I am too scared for DS. I see the road that they seem to keep trying to drag him down and I truly believe it could be really really disasterous for DS and it scares the crap out of me.

I have two sons. One who is obvious and can not function (at ALL) without full-time paraprofessional support -- and one who is quiet, fairly well-behaved, and just functional enough to be allowed to slip through the cracks. In both cases our primary goal is making them functional adults.

Labels help get accommodations, in our experience, because they help force the education system's hand to acknowledge a problem. I have seen schools label ADHD too much so they can get kids overmedicated. I have seen schools ignore problems because they don't have the funding for the accomodations (so, SO much). Ihave seen schools ignore actual diagnoses because they don't have the resources to accommodate. I have just never encounted a school egregiously labeling-for-pay. But perhaps your area is just different than the places I have lived and worked.

EDIT: I don't know why I consistantly misspell accommodate.

I'm sorry it has been so tough for you. People are complicated creatures -- 2e kids more than most. I have trouble getting people to understand my older son as well. Maybe you can ask to meet with the behavioral specialist before you agree to the IEP? Make sure they have a sufficient understanding of your son's needs before he or she is allowed near them?

Will he still have a TA? Who will be instructing and coordinating them on his vision issues?

Yes, and no

You need to continue to be proactive because at this stage your DS can't really self-advocate the way he needs to.

I keep thinking back to the part you wrote where his eyes hurt and the assistant thought it was because he was rubbing them. In my son's IEP they have "frequent breaks" because of his ADHD diagnosis. Whether or not he actually has it doesn't really matter - what matters is that if he shows signs of any kind of attention/sensory/discomfort/stress etc etc, whoever is working with him will allow him to take a break. So he could be cranky because he's hungry (nothing to do with any diagnosis) and they'll still ease up on him. Whether or not they think it's the "ADHD" or anything else doesn't even matter - the point is, he gets the break he needs.

Is there anything like that in your son's IEP? Maybe you need a "frequent breaks" provision because of his vision. (This will also help for a clever kid who is doing mundane work below his ability).

Also keep in mind it all gets easier. My DS is 8 and it's so SO much better than a couple of years ago

Me too, lol, ...yay spell check

Re: "labeling for pay" ...I'm not sure I'd put it that way. They can't put any label on a child just to get more funding. There has to be a legitimate diagnosis from licensed professionals. A parent doesn't just say "ok, tag my kid with ASD" ...and then presto, more dollars. Not at all.

Also I'm really curious about how schools get kids medicated for ADHD - I'm assuming it's by pressuring the parents? In our district that simply doesn't happen.

It's the parents' decision, and I wonder sometimes if the school is even allowed to ask if a child is medicated. I'm thinking possibly not, because this would be considered confidential medical info.

Frankly, it is confidential. It's none of the school's business. Period. The only time knowledge of any pharmaceutical taken would be required would be if they were involved in administering a child's dose mid-day.

It's pretty funny, actually... they're soooo vague about it... "Have you given any thoughts to some of the treatment options the psychologist recommended?" They won't actually say it directly. I reply with "You mean are we medicating him? We haven't taken that off the table, but we're not trying that at the moment since he's pretty happy and functioning well." Yet the same staffer will say "What about OT? Have you looked into that?"

I feel badly for parents who feel pressured to medicate their kids - I'm guessing there are schools who apply undue pressure. This to me indicates a systemic problem with public education. I think I'd home school at that point.

" Maybe you need a "frequent breaks" provision because of his vision. (This will also help for a clever kid who is doing mundane work below his ability). "

yes his vision doctor put this in his report under recommendations to school he put in a lot about this.

Yeah, it's through pressuring the parents. Of course, many kids ARE helped by medication, so it gets very complicated knowing when it's pressure-to-facilitate positive change and pressure-to-facilitate negative change.

ETA: I was asked just last week by someone in our education system if my older son was medicated, come to think of it.

Oh that's good. Ok, so that assistant was definitely not following the IEP. This is good because it won't be the same with every assistant. The diagnosis doesn't matter: breaks are breaks and must be taken.