Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Did your gifted kid always seem gifted?

Exactly, Cricket.

We really thought that people who expressed "amazement" or gushed about DD were just... I don't know... 'sucking up' to us or something, I guess. You know, because all parents love to hear others tell them how remarkable their special snowflakes are.

Looking back, it was a combination of things that led us to more-or-less ignore the matter until it became unavoidable at kindy registration. We fully expected "bright" and probably even "MG" in our child(ren). But, as the saying goes... Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition...

We found her funny and entertaining to be around, and we heard other parents share (grossly inflated) anecdotes about their kids, so we figured "sure-- DD is like that too" and they figured that WE were exaggerating when we were simply telling the unvarnished version of her antics...

As first-time parents without much experience of young children, it simply didn't seem that weird that other adults we knew enjoyed her company as well. She seemed to fit in effortlessly everywhere, so she has always been the ultimate chameleon to those who don't know her well. Our colleagues who had children of their own often remarked on just how unusual she was, but we didn't think much of it. Don't all 3yo's sit quietly with a stack of books in a corner seat in faculty meetings for two or three hours?

For background, my DD7 is not DYS-level gifted, she's MG (~135). I'd been invited to join Mensa based on my old high school SAT scores, but otherwise, neither myself nor my wife knew anything about giftedness until DD encountered school issues in K, and the school started using the term. I had no experience with children under 3, so I had no basis for comparison. My wife, on the other hand, had extensive experience with young children, though most of it was with family members, and it has become apparent to us over time that her reference data set is skewed.

And yet, despite our child not being quite as far outside the norm as many here, and despite our relative ignorance about normal development, we managed to identify some early markers that indicated she was very different.

- At around 4mos, she quit letting anyone dress her in clothes she didn't like. We had to let her pick her own outfits. In order to quit wasting money, that meant we had to involve her in shopping for them... which she was all too eager to do.

- We had decided to work out some baby signs at 6mos so she could ask for the basics... but when the time arrived, she already had a verbal "word" for nearly everything she needed.

- At around 6-8mos, she was consistently showing the ability to focus on an entire 20-minute cartoon designed for much older children, and react appropriately to the content. I have a photo at 9mos with her and her 6yo cousin watching Spongebob together, wearing identical expressions.

The bit with the early verbal development, we were constantly talking at/with her, so we could explain that away. The other two had no explanations.

We kinda figured, partially because we were both reading very early. But first kid, even with a background in psychology, it's hard to know. He got real curious about the alphabet by two and I thought that was cool. But we knew he had his own masterplan by pre-school.

It strikes me that not every kid with exceptional Cans expresses exceptional Needs.

I don't believe early or otherwise exceptional development of secondary sexual characteristics to be correlated with giftedness at all. I can tell from your use of caps that you feel deeply about this, but can we please try to stay on topic?

doh

I figured dd was sort of bright high-achiever type--I mean I was identified as gifted (but not well-served) and I always thought of myself as sort of a bright underachiever. Dd also didn't blow her teachers away because she really likes to observe and wouldn't attempt to do something until she was sure she could do it well, and was very compliant and teacher-pleasing. In retrospect her giftedness as a little kid (toddler-3rd gradeish) showed more at home with emotional intensity and extreme perfectionism. Academically I figured she was likely smart but doing so well because of enrichment in the home. I remember one of her very good friends (who I suspect is PG) was reading magic tree house books at 4 and dd wasn't doing that so my measuring stick was a little off. I would not have anticipated that she would have DYS scores or be such a strong candidate for a grade skip. I really underestimated her greatly, and am just happy that despite that she still has a love of learning.

dd#2 is a different story. She started walking the day after we adopted her at 10 months old and never slowed down. She was exhausting in every way and I figured she was smart but was too overwhelmed by getting through the day with her to question whether she was gifted or not. Many times she would say or do something and the adults would look at each other like, "Did she really just say/do that?" When she was 3 I finally made the connection. She is not any kind of math or reading prodigy--but she is absolutely some level of gifted. Waiting for her to turn 6 to take the WISC and consider a grade skip depending on results.

Giftedness wasn't on my radar when I became a parent. At all. My therapist background tended to cause me to worry about delays /pathology - and my yardstick for development in the kids I see is way skewed.

We figured ds reading at 2 was quirky and "neat" but really didn't jump to any conclusions. He also started doing math extremely early, so we thought, "Hey, he's pretty smart." He loved to do workbooks and flashcards and look at anything maps or science - and frankly, that completely freaked me out. I wasn't sure if he had aspergers or a lack of imagination or what.

It wasn't until we looked into K that we started realizing that he was really ahead...that and our pediatrician urged us to look into giftedness. I also have s friend (teacher) who kept insisting ds was gifted - but I really thought she was just being encouraging. DS is nearly 6, so we haven't formally had him tested. It is possible that we are wrong.

With my dd2... no clue what's in store for us. She's a super early talker but not reading yet the way ds was. I talk about her here not because I think she's gifted, but because I value the advice opinions and congeniality here.

...and because FB makes me crazy (as do Mommy Boards).

My verbally gifted son always seemed very bright academically. Other people noticed it. I could see it in his eyes and the high energy that seemed to be focused on learning constantly. He was also highly sensitive. He always noticed things that I didn't. An older cousin noticed that he used a lot of similes and metaphors in his speech. He was preschool age at the time. When he was preschool age one of his doctors wrote "seems to be high IQ" on his chart. When he was about six and studying Shakespeare in musical theater class he memorized a lot of Shakespeare quotes and used them. For example, I told him that I thought he did something he wasn't supposed to do and he replied, "then die thy thoughts" in his best Shakespearean voice. Before he turned five he went on a bus ride with older kids from church. They asked him to identify words that they spelled out for him. They gave him the hardest words they could think of--science words--but he could identify science words easily because his favorite book at the time was a science encyclopedia. He also knew some multiplication and could do some mental math so they would occasionally ask him math questions, and he would get the right answer most of the time but he rarely missed a word that was spelled out for him, so that was more fun.

But he was born with low muscle tone and mild muscle weakness and did not have the strength to walk until he was 18 months old. He started reading and spelling words one year after he was able to walk. When he was tested by child developmental specialists at 12 months they said he was 50% delayed in gross motor skills but 50% ahead in receptive and expressive language skills. During the test he saw his alphabet book with the letter A and excitedly said A. Later he got excited when he saw the letter B on our piano. When he was older he did well in spelling bees. He loved to read books that were at a higher age level because lower level books did not contain the rich vocabulary that he liked. He always liked to read and analyze and discuss books-- but when he was younger his eyes got tired quickly because of so we had to take turns reading. He also played video games with kids several years older and memorized lines and lyrics faster than most of the older kids when he was young. He just fit in better with kids several years older. They were the only ones who got his jokes and understood the higher level vocabulary he used and were interested in the things he was interested in.

Except for the handwriting issues because his hands got tired quickly, and needing to rest during musical theater dance rehearsals because he fatigued faster than other kids, his mild low muscle tone didn't cause that much trouble for him. We homeschooled and he taught himself to type at 60 wpm on QWERTY and then later taught himself to use DVORAK because he thought it would be easier on his hands if he had to do a lot of typing. He writes well as long as he can type. He is teaching himself Japanese and German.

When he was 11 he found out that in addition to sensory and fatigue issues, he had developed scoliosis and would have to wear a painful brace for three or four years--until he stops growing. Trying to balance brace time and sleep and exercise is impossible and stressful. We deal with a lot of anxiety about this. Lack of sleep and hours of pain every day can slow anyone down. It can look like ADD, especially when he gets a migraine. I get those too, we are both sensitive to weather changes so we take breaks when we need to. He doesn't have the energy that he used to have. It might look to some people like he isn't as gifted as he once was, because he isn't doing a lot of writing or making a lot of progress in piano right now because he has to take so many breaks, but when he is out of the brace--hopefully by next summer, he will rebuild his strength and I think he will be mentally stronger from having had to deal with the disabilities.

LOL!

Thanks for the replies. One thing DD14 used to do that made me think that she wasn't too bright was to mix up opposites. I really should have kept track of the things she would mix up, but the most notable was hot and cold. She would say something hot was cold and vice versa, even though we would point out her mistake. This went on until she was about six years old. Once in a while she still asks for the definition of a word (can't think of an example right now). It will be a word that you seldom use, but you know the definition - often DD8 will know the definition.

On the other hand, looking back, she did have good spatial relation skills at a young age (and others pointed this out to us).

La Texican, thanks for the College Confidential link. I look at that site often, though DD17 has no interest in looking at the advice there.