Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy other parents and envy/jealousy

I'm not sure why a gifted non-savant would ever find their "one thing."

Generally, it seems to help your life if you have some sort of primary vocation or avocation that means something to you.

Otherwise, you're like me and you just kind of wander around life feeling completely aimless and lost.

I think it's important to obtain some internal pleasure or satisfaction out of what you do, whether it's your job or a non-job interest.

JonLaw, you might like to read about Barbara Sher's scanner concept. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/15...524712-8792631?n=507846&s=books&v=glance

When you take your enjoyment from the act of learning and exploring curiousity, it is a bit of its own ends and means. Skill accumulation is a wonderful hobby/way of life and glimmers of cross-over knowledge and interconnectedness have additional rewards. Good times, good times.

Yes, I enjoy cross-over knowledge and interconnectedness.

After all, who doesn't want to play the Glass Bead Game?

"The Glass Bead Game takes place at an unspecified date, centuries into the future. Hesse suggested that he imagined the book's narrator writing around the start of the 25th century.[2] The setting is a fictional province of central Europe called Castalia, reserved by political decision for the life of the mind; technology and economic life are kept to a strict minimum. Castalia is home to an austere order of intellectuals with a twofold mission: to run boarding schools for boys, and to nurture and play the Glass Bead Game, whose exact nature remains elusive and whose devotees occupy a special school within Castalia known as Waldzell. The rules of the game are only alluded to, and are so sophisticated that they are not easy to imagine. Playing the game well requires years of hard study of music, mathematics, and cultural history. Essentially the game is an abstract synthesis of all arts and sciences. It proceeds by players making deep connections between seemingly unrelated topics."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glass_Bead_Game

However, as noted by a commenter to the book you referenced on the Amazon site...

"Finally, some examples seem unrealistic and even dangerous for some career changers. For example, on page 136, Sher describes "Huey," who chose to become a secretary to gain time for reading nineteenth century novels.

"Huey" claims he has 3.5 hours every evening, plus 12 hours weekends and holidays, to fulfill his literary passions. Clearly, Huey isn't married, and for sure he doesn't have children, dogs or a health club membership.

My question: What happens to Huey when he turns thirty, forty or fifty? I'm reminded of Tama Kieves, who wrote This Time I Dance. Kieves, a disgruntled lawyer, took a waitress job "serving curly fries" to her former colleagues. These jobs are fine when you're young -- but as you reach forty and fifty, with no other options, they stop being a Good Enough Job, let alone a lark, and start feeling like a trap."

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/15...524712-8792631?n=507846&s=books&v=glance

Hi I hope you don't mind me jumping in as I"m new to this forum. My 6 year old just recently tested gifted and he's currently in the 2nd grade. When I "vent" to my friends or co-workers because I feel as though he is being treated unfairly at school (he's always in "trouble" for acting up when really he's incredibly bored and emotionally intense) I get told by them that either all kids are gifted so my child is not smarter than them, he probably has issues and should be evaluated as "THEIR" kid would never act like that in class or I'm not doing enough as a parent to discipline him so he doesn't act up in class. I totally relate. I literally at this time have nobody but my husband and my parents (all 4 of us kids excelled in something or were labeled gifted so they've been through it). So I just wanted to say I completely empathize with you on this.

Only if he weren't serious. Some folks, hard to tell.

My point, though, is that kids who stand out (for good or ill) can have targets painted on their backs. Sometimes the most willing archers are adults who should (in theoory at least) know better. As parents, it's important to help our kids develop their own social boundaries so that they feel confident not engaging with people who are just using them to make a point.

The "acts up because he's bored" thing is a hot issue, and one I have a hard time discussing with my kids' classmates' parents, gifted or otherwise. The biggest problem I've seen with it is that there are some folks (not including present company, but thinking of people we've encountered over the years) who think that recognizing the problem is all there is to it, and that it's not their responsibility as a parent to ameliorate it. Ultimately, nobody outside of the parent and teacher cares why little Thor is being obnoxious (be it giftedness, ADHD, or both). They just want him to quit. So if the school cannot or will not challenge Thor to a perfect level of engagement, it's up to us to teach him coping skills. Which we should be doing anyway, because as an adult he's going to have plenty of opportunities to use them. And as soon as you say "Thor's bored in class" chances are your audience makes the leap to assume you're That Parent, and immediately crosses Thor off the birthday invitation list.

Of course, you can teach Thor coping skills, like drawing on blank paper when he's bored, which should bother no one...and have his teacher still throw a blue hissyfit because he's not gazing at the teacher with rapt attention while he goes over the product of twice nine for the eighth time. In which case Thor gets another lesson, which is How To Deal With Unreasonable People.

Which, when you get right down to it, is also an important lesson for any Thor or Hera.

Not like those coping skills will ever go long without use. LOL.

One thing that has helped my DD to tolerate boredom with a more-- er, 'sanguine' outlook is to point out to her that if she is obnoxious, it hurts others who DO need to be paying attention and learning what she already knows. Compassion is the best coping skill for her; she chooses activities which are non-disruptive in order to be kind to others.

That works with DD because she's actually Deanna Troi in disguise, though. Might not work with other kids, but I figured I throw it out there for anyone with a super-empathetic child.

Perhaps the sad part of all of this, despite the social / emotional problems we're all discussing is that most schools still see a TAG program only as the need to challenge kids academically and do little or nothing as far as counseling.

There's nothing quite like entering adulthood intellectually overpowered while remaining an emotionally immature social-emotional fiasco.