Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion what do you do or say

My experience is that you cannot request a teacher. However, our principal seems to take into account requests for "a quiet, organized classroom," or "a classroom with more older children than younger ones," etc. A friend got an appropriate response in requesting that her son not be placed in a job share classroom (2 teachers) so that they could more closely monitor the effects of his medication.

These kinds of things seem to go over much better than "I want Mrs. SoAndSo because everyone knows she's the best/sweetest/most popular," etc.

Sheila, I'd also be asking him why he thinks so. I know you've not been successful in requesting a skip. Is it possible that he's heard you discuss this? DH and I have taken to emailing each other from across the room to discuss things like this to avoid talking about things like this until they are a done deal.

An open-ended question (as mentioned before) is the best 'beginning' tactic to a new complaint. I'm sure most parents do a great job listening the FIRST time...but kids usually don't stop at once. They complain and complain and complain!

That's when we tend to shut down communication with, "You already told me that yesterday." Or, "Remember, I told you I would talk to your school?". Or, "No you don't. All the kids will be bigger than you."

The best tactic I suggest when working with parents is to stop answering the "why can't I?" part of the complaint and focus on the emotion or motication for re-asserting it.

For example: "Rough day, huh?"
or "Are you worried about being bored again?" or "Did
something happen at school today?" or "You seem really frustrated."

LOL DH and I text each other across the room. I can't remember parenting before smart phones

Don't push your kid too much, there's a difference between having a gifted mind and being an adult, and you don't want him to be in the adult world until he's ready for it, if you follow my reasoning, this means that you should just give him some extras things to learn/do, like playing music, learning some fancy history, reading books, I think even playing games would do part of the trick. That's what you call widening your knowledge, which is sane. But if you push him through time, like skipping years so he can be challenged, you'll just achieve isolation for him. Just my thought.

Don't take this wrong. I hear what you're saying & in some ways I agree.
But.

Nowadays there are several colleges that are for young gifted teenagers with similar level of giftedness. Pushing through time, or advancing through grades until you a good fit educationally, is not the road to isolation. There is a lot of opposite beliefs about accelerating your child's education. If you're still reading this just ask and I'll summerize some of the research and provide links against the belief that "pushing ahead" your child's education is the same as making them grow up too fast. The main thing you need to know is that nowadays there are options for a much deeper education for gifted children who are accelerated when they become teenagers. It's not necessary that they become an adult right away. They get to meet with other gifted teenagers and get a deeper education. The second thing you need to know is that by holding back your gifted child you are not "keeping them from growing up too fast", you are starving them from getting their needs met, in my opinion.

Yes... exactly. Kids with curious, nimble minds need the cognitive growth they seek or they wouldn't seek it.

Denied growth --> boredom and stress --> trouble.

You could compare it to a child who is wiggly with extra energy to burn - he/she needs to go outside and run around The same is true for a cognitively precocious child - he/she needs to learn.

I hear what you're saying, and we each have our own perspective, but... my from own personal experience, not being accelerated in elementary school led to my isolation. I was an alien among my age peers and fit in with NO one.

It wasn't until adulthood when I was able to pick and choose my friends based on criteria other than age that I was able to connect with people.

I never needed to take a book home. I didn't own a backpack. I got to college and had no clue how to study.

I think kids that want more should be given more. No child left behind has failed the gifted child as many more resources are being placed for intervention and those funds are coming at the expense of gifted education. That being said, our district is going back and looking at the gifted program and making some positive (I think) changes. We have accelerated math starting in third grade (which does ds no good yet but dd is participating in with math MAP scores being identical) and gifted pullouts now starting in first grade and going from 1 day pull out to 2 days pull out. They will also be doing push ins.

My daughter is in that district that you're talking about. While it may be good at the "neighborhood" school these gifted services at the Magnet school she's at there has been a step back. When she started there was 96 kids now in 5th grade there is half that. They also "let go" of one of the teachers that teached previously at Quest Academy and hires someone with no class experience with gifted children. They also combined the 5th grade magnet with the 6th grade "neighborhood" kids. Are there MAP scores equivalent? Who knows. Where the Magnet school is housed isn't exactly the top rated school in the district.

Yup. Me too.