Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Sports for the non-sporty

Dance Dance Revolution and Wii Sports in addition to musical theater dance improved my son's coordination enough that he was able to beat his older sister at some games that required good coordination at a Dave and Buster's arcade.

That makes me think of Just Dance on the Wii. My DS5 and DD2 LOVE it. And my DH (who didn't even want to dance at our wedding) gets into it! We always end up panting and sweaty (probably me more than them) .

I feel for her...

I think there are two things worth aiming for, and you might well not find them in the same activity. It would be good to find her something that she really enjoys; and it would be good to find her something she can do enough, regularly enough, to maintain a high enough level of strength and cardiovascular fitness that, even if she isn't very skilled in the team games she does, she isn't panting and unable to apply what skill she has.

I think the second is the hard one. A decent level of fitness really takes quite a lot of activity to maintain (at least for some people - I have the impression that some people lose fitness with inactivity much faster than other people, and suspect that this is part of the difference between "sporty" and "unsporty" people, but the impression could be mistaken). You really need something that's going to elevate her heart rate significantly for several hours every week, I think. E.g. one class a week in something, however energetic, isn't going to cut it unless she's also practising significantly in between.

My DS, similarly, is fairly uncoordinated and prefers reading to sports. For him, the things he enjoys are fencing and archery, and what keeps him fit is (a) cycling to school (6 miles per day, Mon-Fri) and (b) going to a school that has at least an hour of compulsory sport every day (though this of course doesn't help him comparatively, as all his peers get this and many of them choose to do extra sport as well).

My oldest wasn't coordinated but found she loved climbing - and still does as an adult. My older son was much more athletic and tried out several sports, although he focused on climbing, tennis and baseball. The youngest has a fine motor coordination disorder and loves climbing, running and swimming.

We have the same rule - actively participate in one sport, one musical instrument and one stretch your comfort zone class.

What I found worked best was to allow my kids to try out different sports without feeling the pressure to continue. Most kids will try things one time, and by exploring a multitude of options, they often find something they like enough to try again. The goal for me was to just have them active - not get a sports scholarship, so I didn't really care how good they were - just that they enjoyed it enough to be intrinsically motivated.

My two oldest were very serious about climbing, and then the struggle was how much to support their drive and how much to worry about them getting too intense, but that's another story. The point is that if you let her find her passion, she'll start driving that boat instead of resisting even taking off from shore. Good luck!

I would encourage you NOT to make her do organized sports if she doesn't like them. I am not coordinated and at some point I really did not want to do team sports anymore. I would have been angry and humiliated had my parents forced me to continue. I agree that staying active is important, but there are many other ways to make this happen, as has been discussed here. Yoga class, swimming laps, regular hiking, biking to school, etc. Some people really don't enjoy organized sports. I agree that kids should try them out, but at a certain point I think they're allowed to say--hey, I tried them and I don't want to do it anymore.

Ultramarina- I totally agree. She knows I will support her when she does not want to continue with an activity (as long as she finishes out her commitment). We have had some very good, open discussions about it.

I really appreciate all the great suggestions shared here! Thank you to everyone who has responded. I am looking forward to investigating some of these and seeing if any of them interest my daughter.

To the many good suggestions you've already received, I can add only one: trampoline.

I agree with you, but some people who are bad at team sports such as football, baseball, and basketball may be ok at individual sports such as tennis and racquetball -- this is true for me. In tennis, the net separates you from your opponent, and (given the speed at which amateurs hit the ball) there is a little time to think. Basketball calls for instantaneous reactions in a sea of people who are jostling you. The two sports call on different mental abilities as well as different physical ones.

My general advice is to expose a child to a range of sports and also to accept, as you say, that some children won't be proficient at any competitive sport.

My dd started dog training thru 4h and has now moved on to agility. Lots of excercise and events. Even have scholarships for junior handlers.

Bicycling (on a tandem if balance is bad)? Hiking? Locally we have rock-climbing classes that are very supportive.

We found that after years of swimming and golf, independent sports, my DS is now more interested in team sports, because he is now fit and coordinated enough to keep up.

DeeDee