Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy At what age did you start letting them stay alone?

DS8 has been trying really hard to convince me that he is mature enough to stay home alone, at least long enough for a quick trip to the store, or while I go running. I don't think he is ready for that yet, but I can't pinpoint a reason. Yes, he occasionally does stupid things like any 8 year old, but he thrives on responsibility and always shows more maturity when treated more like an adult. He gets mouthy, but that is about the only discipline problem I have from him. He knows all the neighbors, he knows to call 911 in case of an emergency, and he knows and follows all the house safety rules (no playing with sharp objects, no jumping from the top bunk, etc). From a purely logical standpoint, it seems like he IS ready. But I don't think he is. I know readiness varies from child to child, but how old was yours when you left him/her home alone for the first time, and how did it go?

Hi - this topic has come up before, and there are a bunch of replies here, including a link to state laws on the matter: http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/ubbthreads.php/topics/94568/1.html

For me, I've occasionally left DS8 alone, with a phone, for an hour or two since he was 7. Totally depends on the kid, the family, the laws of your state.

I was a latchkey child at age 7, and this was fine (truly).

We didn't leave DD alone until she was about ten. Without a complicating medical concern, though, I think I'd have done it at age 8 or so.

My state recommends 11 as a guideline. I was thinking 9 or 10 for short runs up to the store.
I think that we've become really overprotective as a society and it is now nearly impossible to discern right and wrong out of the things our parents hardly gave a thought to. My mother nearly flipped her wig the other day when I let my 7 year old cross the street herself and I recall crossing my street in Kindergarten. She is certain that she would have never had allowd that. LOL!

I've been leaving DD8 alone for the length of a quick trip to the store (or more likely, to daycare to pick up her brother on a day when she is home sick or something) for a couple of years. She knows both my and DH's phone numbers, and she's not particularly impulsive.

Can you think of any way that he can demonstrate responsibility that would be acceptable to you? Do you feel comfortable taking a nap or something and letting him be "in charge" around the house even though you're physically there?

I know my boys were ready to be left alone at age 8. There are parents in our circle of friends who don't even let their daughters walk down a street by themselves at age 10, though. So, it might just be us.

I don't think you need a reason, really - just follow your gut. It may be that he is ready but you aren't and that's fine too. I don't think we have to hurry into these things.

On the other hand, some kids and parents are completely ready and that works as well. Each scenario is unique.

I'd never leave my DS8 alone - he's far too curious and impulsive. DD9 has been left alone for about :30 or so while I've taken DS8 to school on a day that she's been sick. She's not comfortable being left alone for longer than that, though, and she'll be 10 at the end of the year. I'm not worried about it... she'll be ready when she's ready.

DS9 has just recently been allowed to stay home alone during short runs to the store or post office. We also just started (this summer) letting him go with a friend to the convenience store about half a mile up the road, but he has to go on the back streets, not the highway. We're considering letting him walk to school in the fall, which is about 3/4 mile, also by back streets. His friend next door is 8 and his mom was letting him walk to school this spring, so he's keen on it. We live in a tiny rural town.

We are not letting him watch his sister alone yet, probably for at least another year or more. She does get in the way of any common sense that he might otherwise have.

We would have been fine leaving DD home by herself by age 8, if DS had not been 5 at the time.

Even though DS is now 10, we are still uncomfortable leaving him alone for any length of time. Of course, the fact that he nearly set the house on fire (foot high flames in his bedroom) by accident a year ago might have something to do with it!

12 - the legal age in our state that we couldn't be charged with neglect and child abuse had something happened while we were gone. My older two were ready and mature enough long before then. The youngest not until recently.