Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Care to share some toilet training advice?

I feel like a first-time parent whilst PTing my second, DD2.2. I joined this forum due to our suspicion that DS5 is GT. I have no real perspective on 'normal' PTing because my DS literally trained in a weekend at 2.4years. He had maybe three accidents EVER and trained nighttime and naptime fully at the same time. My perspective is skewed in a big way!

We started PTing DD2 two weeks ago. She goes on the potty like a champ...her motor control is amazing. She wakes up dry at nap and night, so
I feel her bladder control is mature. If we took her to the potty every 20-30 minutes we would be fine. However, she NEVER tells us she needs to go. Even when she's a potty-dancing fool, she denies it. She gets to play with fun little toys on the potty...we stopped doing treats.

Is it unrealistic that she should be self-leading already? She is very verbally advanced with excellent gross and fine motor control...and she's a very agreeable child most of the time.

I potty trained DS2.5 about 4 months ago and he caught on immediately. I would however have to take him since he would deny he had to go. I took a couple of months for him to start telling us. I think early on they are just too "busy" to keep track and want to take the initiative to go. I'd say keep taking her and eventually she will lead. I am sure within a couple of months she will be telling you.

Thanks so much for your reply. I reassured my dh that some kids just don't figure it out all at once. This is the first developmental thing my DD hasn't achieved before DS...not that it's a contest, ee had just settled into the idea that girls often develop faster.

DD ptrained at 22 months in a few days, she found it distressing by the second day to wear a diaper at night or nap because she got it.

At night, she would get up to go (we kept a potty in her room) and she was pretty good when she had to go but it was good to make them go before a car ride, after breakfast. It is like preschool, they can go if needed, but certain times, they line up to go at certain times. Pushing the going before something like an outing might give her an impetus of not waiting until the last minute, which is something they do as they go older and in the middle of something.

I think it sounds like she's just not quite ready. We are a very laid-back family re things like this, so take my advice with a grain of salt. My take on it is that most kids are going to be ready when they are ready, and when they are ready is going to vary quite a bit from child to child. A huge part of "being ready" for my kids was motivation - did they *want* to do it, and life was much simpler waiting for that last "want to" step to really set in before pt'ing

Best wishes,

polarbear

That's one of my concerns that she's not emotionally ready despite being physically there. She never fights us to go on the potty, so I don't think it's a power struggle yet ...but now I have to decide if we just just give it up after going diaperless for two weeks? Hmmmm...food for thought.

We are having similar issues, DD is 25 months and is totally physically ready but refuses to sit on the potty or toilet, however a few days ago I took her to a family bathroom at the mall and she was just about falling over herself to sit on the mini toilet without a nappy. She didn't do anything but I was so happy, I gave her a puppy sticker when we got home and tried to follow up with the potty - no luck. Now I'm thinking about getting a fancy potty chair but I keep hearing horror stories about the kids refusing to use other toilets when out and about.

From what my well child nurses have told me what your DD is doing is normal and as long as she isn't fighting you keep at it

After talking to the most qualified expert in my life (my mom :), dhe encouraged us to keep going. DD is still reluctant yo take the lead, but she is also holding her bladder gor the potty, evrn on a loooong outing to a festival with a regular diaper on. So...we're encouraging her to take more of a lead but...

Maha...

We have a small potty seat and a seat for the big toilet. I'm a huge fan of the initial treat bribe (a single M&M for sitting and trying, 2 for actually going, and a handful for #2.

DS decided to toilet train just before 2 but would "forget" to let us know at times. I decided just to go for it around 2 and threw the nappies away. He hated wet clothes so often would start and then take himself off to the toilet (wouldn't bother if he had a nappy on) but if we were out I would take him every hour to start with (he likes error-less learning!) on the pretense that I needed to go, and perhaps he could go to. I did that for a month or so. It was very quick in our household too (wee to start with). He hated the potty and would only wee into the toilet from a step. He continued to ask for a nappy to do a poo in until he was closer to 4 as he refused to sit on the potty and was scared of falling into the toilet...
In the end though it was good old fashioned bribery that did it - once he had done 5 poos in the toilet he could choose a toy at the shops. Why didn't I resort to that earlier...?

I wouldn't worry about it too much. At least it sounds like she is somewhat interested in being trained.

Bribes did not work for my kids. For my eldest, we finally got her trained over a long weekend at age 3yr, 3mo. We told her she could not watch any kiddie shows on TV (mine watch way more than they should) until she was trained. We did permit TV watching, but it had to be CNN or CNBC.

My second was the most challenging. She would hold it in all day - as it 10+ hours - and then couldn't hold it any more. She would then be sopping wet, squishy socks, and when you pointed out that she was wet, she would deny wetting her pants. She would continue on her way as if nothing had happened. Finally trained shortly before her 4th birthday, a week prior to starting a school that assumed she was trained. We told her the school would kick her out and she would be sitting on the curb if she wasn't trained - that did the trick.

This may seem like harsh parenting with the older two, but some kids just don't respond to bribes. We didn't push my youngest. She trained at 3 yr, 5mo when she seemed ready and other kids at the day care were also ready to train. Took a week or less.

I guess I might back off for a while and let her figure it out. Unless she is like my second (in wet pants denial), I would expect her to be uncomfortable/be upset with the accidents and start letting you know when she needs to go. Of course, this is easier to say now that the kids are 7, 14 & 16 - if I was in the middle of potty training a kid, I would be more anxious!