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Me too. Car accidents are my top fear for the safety of my kids and my own as well. They also ride in car seats until they're too big for them. So, DS12 is too big, but the 7 and 10 year old still fit.

We don't have much in the way of public rail transportation around here, which stinks. When I lived in Boston, I got around on foot and on the T almost exclusively. I miss that.

I do let my kids move around on their own. Lately, I've been dropping DD7 and DS10 off partway to school and letting them walk the rest of the 100m or so alone. They love it! I've been letting DS12 go places the require crossing the major streets on his own since he was 10 or 11. He's mature enough and I trust him.

As for activities, is anyone else out there tired of having to drive everywhere to get to ballet or soccer or whatever? We work pretty hard at finding stuff the kids can do after school at school, or at a very close location.

Ha--actually, I would not live somewhere where my kids were traveling, for instance, 25+ miles a day in a car. Almost all of our weekday life is lived within a 5-mile radius, although we do take weekend trips. This is also partly because I really hate car travlel and we prioritize environmental concerns.

However, I have always considered myself highly unusual. For the vast majority of America, this would never be a consideration. I think that is okay, btw. Our built environment is incredibly limiting for people who wish to restrict car travel.

Annette, so grateful you were so alert. I've concluded that we are mostly incredibly lucky to cheat accidental death. I do not care to count the dangerous dituations in my youth (picture riding on lawn chairs in the back of my dad's pick-up among others).

If it was up to my DS5, we would walk everywhere. He is extremely concerned with my family's "carbon footprint", LOL.

My husband, son and I moved from a city to a rural area next door to my parents years ago. It seemed the right thing to do, but there are sometimes difficult consequences for doing the right thing.

We have to drive over 15 miles to go to a Walmart and almost 20 miles to go to a library since there isn't one in our small town. My son hates the isolation and I wish there was something I could do about it. I would have loved to see him play more with other kids when he was younger but we live in an area with mostly retired people. He only got to play with other kids when he did plays in musical theater.

Our small town school playground was not a safe place to play because of bullies. He only went to kindergarten there. Recently, a middle school boy had his head dunked in the toilet at school. The school says they are taking bullying seriously but I don't believe it. We homeschool but this still bothers me so much to know that other people are going through this. I became a helicopter parent when I found out about the bullying in our town and felt the criticism of the judgmental people whose religion requires shunning of people who are different from them in some ways. Members of my family that I thought would be nice for my son to grow up around are members of this religion. Luckily, my son is very perceptive and instinctively knew that he needed to watch what he said if he played with their kids. For example, when he saw the movie Avatar he knew that his cousins were forbidden to see it so he didn't mention it but he also had a feeling that he might offend them in some way without knowing it because there were so many things they were against because the preacher had said it was bad. Playing is not much fun when you have to worry so much about offending your playmates.

My 14-year-old car is being repaired now. It will cost over $2000 to fix it which means we will be forced to stay home even more to pay for it. We can't afford new car payments. Gas prices went up so high that we limit going out anywhere.

I have an amazing 14-year-old gifted kid with dysgraphia and low muscle tone and sensory processing issues that affect his endurance. He developed scoliosis at age 11 which requires that he wear a brace, further limiting his activities but he learns more than I ever learned on his own.

Learning is playing to him. He is having fun learning Japanese and reading a lot about the Japanese culture, but when I told a family member about it I had to deal with their bigotry and I realize that my son is right when he tells me not to tell anyone about what he is learning or doing.

Sometimes my son and I really need a break from this place but we will have to persevere. I would love for us to be able to play and enjoy life without other people judging us.

I have just been reading these but when I read Lori H, I thought wow. I cannot imagine. I cannot imagine a lot of stuff about people's attitudes, being from Canada. I come from a small city, 60 miles due north of Detroit. And in the early 70s, one of my Phys Ed teachers lived with this English teacher, both women. It didn't stop the English teacher from becoming head of the dept. Nobody did anything to them. They were living together. A dark skined man became mayor in the 70s, when .01% of the population in our town was dark skinned.

I don't understand the bullying. I don't understand the parents that bring up these children. A head in the toilet?

It is more interesting this year when I see which children my child wants playdates with. I understand she has her buddies, but I also see the cliques starting at this age, in grade 2. I can see her developing to being part of the group at the popular table and I don't care for it. Though in NYC, popular is relative.

A mother told me that her daughter, going to a private school has to deal with these really rich kids. Now this family lives in a $10 million apt. The husband is a hedge fund lawyer. And she is talking about kids that have charge accounts at 12 to buy whatever they want, a la some Disney character but in real life.

I am digressing now but it is interesting where this world is going. How safe are our kids when they venture out? What age can they take the bus or subway alone? This grandmother who I had the adventure with, told me she grew up in Brighton Beach and at 10 she took the subway into Manhattan to see a movie or go to the museum, by herself. I cannot imagine that today.

We are at the beach today and there is construction being done at the house next door. When my daughter was getting chilly on the beach, I wouldn't let her go by herself to get a sweatshirt, one of the "free ranging" allowances at the beach. I kept thinking one of these workers could grab her. In the middle of the day, in front of everyone. My fear factor in this day and age.

Though I probably do things others wouldn't. There is a jetty where the innercoastal starts made of a pile of rocks. Some closer to each other and some not so much. A few years ago, I took her out. It was a journey. It was an ordeal to make it to the end but I promised her. And I am athletic, her father could never have made it so I had to do it. And we had to stop a few times and figure it out and hold her hand to make sure she didn't fall. But at the same time, it was a cool thing to do.

I want DD to be smart about taking risks, but also find out the enjoyment of succeeding. Then you hear about the boy who got grabbed outside his school. Seven years old but he fought the guy off. Can you imagine some guy grabbing a kid as he went into school? My heart drops at the thought.

It was very interesting to hear everyone's "dilmema" on how to deal with these issues.

Ren

I live in a quiet, picturesque suburb at the far edge of a fairly small city with conservative values. Some guy who lives just down the road once tried to talk two young girls (9 and 12) into his truck. This happened right in front of my house. In making inquiries, I'm told he has some rather noticeable psychological problems.

So yeah, don't think that living in a quiet neighborhood is any protection. Sexual predators look just like anyone else, and they live everywhere.

My DD7 and her friends are not even allowed to cross the street without adult supervision.

My wife was stalked several times as a child. She spared herself worse through a finely-honed flight response.

Not allowed to cross the street without adult supervision? At what age, if ever, will this be allowed? Not to start a fight, but note Michaela's comments upthread. At a certain point, especially if you have a smart (obviously) and rebellious (I don't know) child, they are going to start assessing the risk themselves, wrong or right, and possibly start lying to you because they think you are being ridiculous.

Kids need some rope. My DD is asking for a LOT of rope already--more than we can give her, but. It's going to be a dance. When she is upset (often) we now let her walk up and down the block alone. I don't particularly like it, but it cools her off very effectively and it is a very valuable adult privilege to her. Do I stand by the window and watch for her going by? Yes, I do. But she doesn't know I do that.

Reading the book and blog "Free Range Kids" by Lenore Skenazy may help parents better assess risks. Often people worry about vivid bad things such as kidnapping rather than the bad things that are more likely to happen.

I expect that part of the problem today is that you're the odd man out if you let your kids out on their own. Thirty or more years ago, this wasn't the case. Almost all parents told their kids to "go out and play!!" and the kids did. Today, many parents don't even let their kids play alone on the front lawn or go to the local park by themselves when they're ten.

You'd have to ask her mom. It's not my rule.

Then again, I've never had to run through other people's yards to get home because a man in a car was following me.