Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy School attempting to transfer their responsibility

DD7 had her IEP meeting for next year. She's currently in a G/T class for 160 minutes a day, and a regular 1st grade class for the rest, and except for a promotion to 2nd, none of that is projected to change. The school and district have dug in their heels about a grade skip for two years now, though when the VP (apparently the principal is tired of dealing with us, and delegated) declared that question already answered, I flatly told her that we do not accept "no skip" as a final answer.

DD is very much a teacher pleaser, so although we've gotten them to commit to a couple of accommodations in 1st (an advanced work folder she can select from, extra computer time where she can select her own material, etc), when the teacher is short of time and/or distracted by other things, DD gets asked to work on grade level. Instead of the teacher accommodating DD and her needs, the relationship swings the opposite direction, with DD accommodating the teacher. She then bottles up all her frustration and negativity about her needs being denied, brings it home, and takes it out on us. To address this, I inserted a comment in her IEP for this year, something along the lines of: "Working on grade level is not appropriate. Significant accommodations must be made in the regular classroom to meet her needs."

So, at least we've got something nice and legal to fall back on if the next teacher starts backsliding on us... not that I blame the current teacher, who can be as much a victim of inappropriate placement as the student.

Here's the bit where DW and I were flabbergasted... the VP turned to DD and asked her to "use her giftedness" towards grade-level assignments and find creative new ways to solve the given problems, etc. It really bothered me at the time, but I needed to chew on it a bit after the meeting to figure out why... they're basically transferring their responsibility to my DD. It's not her job to make their assignments engaging and challenging... it's theirs. They're the adults, and they're supposed to be the ones who identify her needs and meet them. She has a responsibility to be on time, on task, and behave appropriately. They're responsible for providing her with an appropriate education. Our state even has legislation that says so.

And if this is the message they're sending her... that if she's bored it's all her fault... then no wonder she keeps beating herself up over every little mistake at home.

I suppose if she really was permitted to "use her giftedness" in class, she'd feel a little better about it. But I was quick to point out the contradiction, because just this week DD was given a worksheet where she was basically counting pennies and converting them to larger coins. I looked at it and told her she missed one, and she immediately responded, "Ms. X told us not to use quarters!" So much for higher thinking skills... just conform to the classroom and the instructions on the paper. Sigh.

Just wanted to vent my frustrations, and also share with the group, because I'm sure some of you have either heard this argument, or will encounter it in the future. I'm half inclined to send off a condensed and less ranty version of this to the VP, but I think I'll hold off until we see how 2nd grade is going.

BTDT...I don't think they realize how they sound. They think they are being motivational but not...

Does your state have any requirements for skipping grades? Ours says the districts must have something in place. They offer testing in the summer in order to allow a grade skip or class skip. In elementary school it's difficult to pass all four subjects though if the kids just haven't been exposed to the social studies in particular as it was very fact driven. They don't publicize these tests very much though. They are required to announce dates, but you have to be looking for it and know it's there....

This is awful. Our GT kids, though they may know a whole lot and learn very quickly, still need to be taught. They have a right to be educated just like all the other kids. And your DD is SEVEN YEARS OLD. This is not her responsibility.

Wow! Talk about taking the easy way out.

I am so sorry you are dealing with that! We had a similar experience but no resolution. I'll be interested to see what people say about this. My dd9 has read every book they are working on in 3rd grade and was told "Just don't tell the other kids all the answers."

At this time of year, I wonder if it's best to keep fighting or wait and see what next year brings.

Wow. Just wow.

When our kids use their giftedness in class, it usually gets them in trouble - spacing out during class discussion, asking challenging questions, persistently asking for clarification, being too literal, etc.

I am more convinced that ever that the only way things will change is if there is ever a mandate that every teacher must have one class in college that covers meeting the needs of special education children in the regular classroom. Most of these people mean well but are just ignorant that what they are saying is hurtful, condescending, misdirected and dismissive.

I've posted this before, but ABQMom, this is for you!

http://xkcd.com/987/

Also, I just had a sudden intuition about this. It sounds like veiled hostility towards the child's intelligence. Sort of like, "You think you're so smart, you figure it out."

I've had this impression before about certain educators. Like they were one of the "normal" kids back when they were in school, and they still feel the same squirm of distaste that they felt back then towards anyone who's different.

Of course, that may or may not be the case with this particular VP, but that's what it reminded me of.

Wow, Dude, that's awful. I think MegMeg's interpretation seems likely. I totally agree that in no way should they be placing this responsibility on your daughter, but if that is the approach they are going to take, perhaps you could insist that they put it in the IEP? Something along the lines that dd is allowed to interpret the regular assignments in whatever way interests her and is not to be graded down for or discouraged from doing so? If that's what they tell her to do, then she should at least be allowed to do it! And if they won't, then the statement's only purpose was to hurt your daughter and not intended to be a useful contribution to the dialogue, imo.

I like this idea, but I have very little faith that it would be relied upon to get the job done. The ability to hand pick teachers so you can find individuals who don't have this veiled hostility would be more workable - will they allow it?

Personally, I was a kid who took this route, not because anyone told me too, but because I could. One one hand it kept me sane and able to complete the assignments. On the other hand it 'trained' me to look at EVERYTHING from an odd perspective in a compulsive way, which has been both a plus and a minus in adult life. I think that this is good for maybe 10% of a 7 year olds accomidation package, but not more than that.

((pout))
Grinity