Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional All the other stories sucked.

in my daughter's 2nd grade class "stupid" was called "the S word"

Of course "hell" was okay because that was a place, regardless of context.

I completely agree. I am surprised that so few responders seem to find it troubling to use the word "sucks" in a school assignment. I'm sure many people who use that word aren't thinking about the actual definition, but my 11 and 12 year olds are fully aware that it is an inappropriate word. Their friends are also aware--one of them accidentally used it in my presence last week, and immediately apologized. It may be used frequently in kid-only conversations, but I think most kids know, or SHOULD know, that it is not appropriate to use in school or with adults, etc. So please, let's all make sure our kids know!

ETA: I meant that I agree with MomtoFour's post about the inappropriateness of the word.

By the way, Original Poster, I feel your pain! My comment really reflects a general cultural concern about language & respect, etc, and I realize I wasn't really commenting on your question/issue...sorry!!

Or a person. (Loki's daughter)

this happened with our ds11; for him it was surprising because the teacher had been asking them to use their own 'voice' while writing, and he is working on his funky, in-your-face self...so that's his voice. Well, it didn't go over so hot, in fact he got pulled into the vice principal's office even though he didn't use any words like 'sucks' or anything like that.
Kind of contradictory, kind of over the top silliness on the part of the teacher and principal, when you are looking at a kid who hasn't been in trouble for 6 years of school, ever. I wondered how a 40 year old professional teacher could actually be offended by an 11 year old stretching his voice a bit. Lame.

Tallulah...very nice !!

If you live in certain parts of the country, a "sucker" is a piece of candy attached to a stick.

Anyway there are "swear words" and words that aren't very nice, sound tacky and are borderline inappropriate depending upon the audience.

This fall and winter all the kids were doing "what the - " which isn't anything bad in itself, and it's all over t.v. and movies, but it implies swearing and I don't think it's appropriate for 8 yr olds.

My grandmother used to say there was swearing and then there was just being "common". So if you don't want to be common, if you want to be a little more polished and sound more intelligent, there are many thousand words in the English language and get to know some more polished and clever ways of saying things.

And then there is being 12 with some inconsistent direction from teachers, and having lots to learn...just being human.

Hi ABQMom,

I'm coming a bit late to this discussion, but wanted to go back to your comment that your DS didn't realize that his answer wasn't appropriate.

My DS12 (ADHD-in and a very literal thinker) used to answer these "opinion" type questions in a similar manner -- saying he liked a certain character or story because it was "good" or didn't like another because it was "boring" or "dumb". I thought at first he was just being lazy or showing attitude, but after talking to him I realized that he just didn't understand why the teacher was asking this kind of question.

The problem was that he was answering the question truthfully, but wasn't understanding the teacher's perspective. I explained to him that she was asking this question to see if he was able to summarize part of a story that he liked or didn't like, and show that he had a good understanding of the characters and plot. He does much better on these kinds of questions now!

I'm just coming in again because I guess I don't understand why, such as what Verona is saying, that the teacher isn't guiding them to learn this? Did the teacher provide good feedback and the student just didn't understand, or did the student just get marked down or reprimanded and the parent had to figure it all out and then do the lesson interpretation for their child, etc.?

The OP as a mother gets an e-mail about her son's response...does the student get the feedback to what the teacher was looking for as an appropriate answer and asked to resubmit? Or do the immediately go to the middle school version of a "color change", also like chris1234 said? If the student is not demonstrating what the teacher was asking for with a particular type of question, is it because they were taught in class and didn't get it or the teacher didn't teach it properly, and how does the teacher work with the student between the two of them, at that age, to help the student learn this lesson?

DD is only 8 and she is literal, though hasn't done anything like this (yet?) so I'm just very confused and curious.

Well, in our case DS would just get a bad grade and possibly a comment that would say "elaborate" or something like that. Some kids are probably just more tuned in to what the teacher wants/expects and others need more explicit instruction.

At 12, my DS really should advocate for himself and ask the teacher what he should have done differently. But since he doesn't do that (sigh) and just ignores the bad grade, I feel that I need to intervene and explain what was expected.

Verona - he really thought all she wanted was his opinion of the stories and of her selection of reading material for the class. We jokingly call him Captain Literal, because he doesn't pick up on nuance in some instances while he does in others.

Of his own volition he wrote her an email apologizing and redoing the assignment once he understood what she wanted. He also apologized in person (although his apology did include the statement that he assumed since she used the words in class that were in his essay that they were acceptable - but that now he was aware they were not acceptable in writing, he would no longer use them in written assignments).

I explained to him that when a teacher asks for an opinion, usually they are just offering the opportunity to be a little more creative in the real assignment of comparing and contrasting the different stories so that she can affirm that he not only read all three but understood them as well. He was quite disgusted and asked why someone didn't just ask for what they wanted, why the need to play games and mess with kids' heads by asking something they didn't really care about...

I have a feeling this will not be the last email I receive before he graduates ... or possibly even before he finishes the school year.