Preparing for a meeting with DD12's teacher, as I secretly consider unschoolig her, is it advisable to ask for the last few months of the year that DD12 have a free period in the library during maths and science to investigate and work on her own (she is highly disciplined - being un-supervised and left to her own devices shouldn't be a problem)?
Hmm... In your first post you wrote
she is failing everything (even English, which I know she is good at) but Maths, Physics & Chemistry.
which doesn't sound very disciplined; I think the school may wonder why, if she can't be trusted to work well in most of her lessons, they should trust her to work better unsupervised.
You may know that it'd be different if she had a free choice of what to do, but I doubt they'll see it that way. If it isn't that you were exaggerating and she's actually only slightly underperforming rather than "failing", this is a really serious matter and is why I suggested mental health support.
You say you're considering "unschooling" her; I'm wondering whether that would be the best model of homeschooling for her, given that currently she is distributing her effort very unevenly, and given that she's relatively old to start homeschooling. I think I would be inclined to deschool over what would be the summer holidays, but then provide a pretty supportive framework, e.g., insist that she does some English, some humanities, a MFL, but give her plenty of choice about what goes in each slot. She will presumably want (need, if she wants to pursue chemistry research) to got to university eventually, and she won't be able to do that with a totally one-sided education; at the very least, she'll need English GCSE or equivalent.
Does anyone have experience with such meetings and can you help me?
I wonder if I can just come out right and say my child is unmotivated, can't concentrate, hates her classes?
In dialogue with teachers, in your experience, should I ask to have DD12 present so that she can explain, herself, and I can help, or should I go alone?
I've had many school meetings although not in similar circumstances. FWIW, I'd say yes, be open about how your DD feels, but work hard to be heard as on the same side as the teachers. In the difficult circumstances, I would recommend not having her present at the first meeting, so that everyone can be open. If you come to an agreement on a plan, you might need to have another meeting with her present to make sure everyone understands and agrees the same.
Good luck!
