Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment The NUMATS ceremony

Ugh.... I just found out that even if ds10 qualifies for the NUMATS awards ceremony, he won't be able to go, as it falls the same day as dd21's college graduation (it's not announced, but NUMATS told me it was 6/9, because I was trying to plan some events in June). Two weeks ago, I hardly gave it a thought and didn't think he'd qualify. So why do I care now? Nothing has really changed and the EXPLORE still serves the purpose for which he took it. In fact, his math teacher (I told her that he had a 25 in math) tutored him one-on-one yesterday and gave him separate homework. The other kids were definitely not doing slope intercept and graphing. So, all good, right? And he's in 4th grade, so even if he does make the ceremony, it's not as if it compares to what his sister has done to graduate college (and she's had some extremely difficult challenges, including the death of her father sophomore year).
I think I just feel guilty, especially when I read about a lot of the parent here. It seems like so many of you are moving to a different city, quitting a job to homeschool, getting a second one to pay private school tuition, taking on loans to finance your gifted child's enrichment.....All four of our kids have special needs of one sort or another and I feel like it's all I can do to juggle them without dropping too much.
I hope someone who has been will tell me how boring and useless the ceremony was. My initial plan is not to mention to ds that there is a ceremony, since right now he's clueless. Midwest dad mentioned a state ceremony, but I couldn't find anything about it online for IL, and I saw that some states have a higher cutoff than NUMATS so he might not qualify for our state ceremony, if there is one.
Sigh...

OK, stop. You have nothing to feel guilty about. There is always going to be some other parent, parenting some other child, in some life situation totally unlike yours. You make the choices that are best (or at least, least worst) for you as a parent, for your kid, for your family, for your life situation, and you have nothing to feel guilty about. I suspect most of those choices are being made by people who feel they have no less-worse choice, and they don't have anything to feel guilty about, either. But you don't have to make the choice that was least-worst for them, in order to have made the choice that was least-worst for you.

If it makes you feel any better, our family would not move for DD's education, even if there were what appeared to be the perfect school placement for her, because that would not be the least-worst choice for our family as a whole. We won't send her to the local gifted school for a lot of reasons, some of which have to do with onerous driving and high tuition. I'd consider homeschooling if I thought that was an otherwise-good choice, but I wouldn't quit my job to do it, even though our family could survive without my income. We're contemplating private school for middle school, but "we couldn't afford it if one of us lost our job," really has us motivated to find some less-worse alternative; it would be completely off the table if it required taking on debt.

(I hear you, though. My hot-button issue is Ruf's levels of giftedness, which "so many" people here seem to be enamored of. They're utter hokum with respect to my kid, though. She'd be a 1-verging-on-2 using those "common milestones," but I'd be extremely surprised if she were a 4 rather than 5 going by IQ equivalent. Some people have early-bloomer, showy kids. I don't.)

We weren't able to make the ceremony last year, so I can empathize. (Its a long story.)

I have heard from other people that its hard to meet other families at the ceremony.

And a 25 on the math IS impressive! That is the one section the dd always runs out of time on.

Don't feel guilty! You make the best choices you can in your circumstances, and there's no point in regretting the things that don't get chosen. Besides, a sister's graduation is surely a much more inspiring event than the NUMATS ceremony! Does he get to go to it, or just to hear about it? You don't say what his sister studied, but maybe, if he'll be there, she could show him briefly round a department that does something he's interested in (maths?) or ask another student to do so if there's little overlap between their interests?

I completely sympathize. Personally I have mostly made peace with that particularly issue. You can only do your best. Of course, this is from the perspective of someone who would not undertake any of the choices that you listed (move to a different city, etc.) for my "gifted" children although I would (and have) considered them for my "special needs" child.

I understand where you are coming from. There are certainly so much more I can do for my gifted children but my special needs child needs and gets 90% of my time (when I am not working) because that commitment can make the ultimate difference in his future. Interestingly, in some ways, that has been beneficial to my gifted children - they are independent, self-reliant and can self-advocate.

I have no experience with NUMATS, but we did go to the CTY ceremony last year. Neither I nor my kdis (both qualified) would make sacrifices to go again. In fact, we were traveling the week before and had I not been able to get that last flight home that Saturday night we would not have made it in time for the ceremony on Sunday morning.

Anyhow, we don't have the Explore scores yet, but I don't think (I'll have to check) the talent search we went through even has a ceremony so that was not a big deal to begin with for us. If it is a big deal for your ds or your family, might there be a chance that the times for the ceremony may not overlap? The CTY ceremony was very short (1 to 1 1/2 hours)and in the morning.

(I hear you, though. My hot-button issue is Ruf's levels of giftedness, which "so many" people here seem to be enamored of. They're utter hokum with respect to my kid, though. She'd be a 1-verging-on-2 using those "common milestones," but I'd be extremely surprised if she were a 4 rather than 5 going by IQ equivalent. Some people have early-bloomer, showy kids. I don't.)

Oh my... I had vaguely heard of these, but hadn't looked up the specifics until I read your post. Wow. We've only had one child tested (dd21)and although she's a level 5 in the "associated IQ," I really didn't recognize any of my kids in the descriptions. Bits and pieces yes... but they make it sound like she should be off in a corner building 3000 piece puzzles, lonely, and unable to talk to other kids. The only reason my kids had trouble communicating with other kids is becasue they were all late talkers - some more severe than others. I'm with you - this is specific to a very narrow band of children, and not just in relation to IQ.

We weren't able to make the ceremony last year, so I can empathize.

Do they mail you the certificate or medal of whatever the kids receive? Was your dd upset?

That aside, the ceremony was actually tedious, the speaker was poor in my opinion, and the main purpose of the ceremony seemed to be to promote the university where it was being held. Perhaps this interested the older attendees, but my third and fifth graders had no interest at all- overall, if there were a next time, I would skip it.

It sounds bad to say this (sorry your kids were bored) but I'm so glad to hear this. I'm going to choose to think it's tedious and he wouldn't like it that much. He's my squirmiest, loves-to-be-moving kid, so maybe he wouldn't want to sit for hours!

Besides, a sister's graduation is surely a much more inspiring event than the NUMATS ceremony! Does he get to go to it, or just to hear about it? You don't say what his sister studied, but maybe, if he'll be there, she could show him briefly round a department that does something he's interested in (maths?) or ask another student to do so if there's little overlap between their interests?

I hadn't really thought of that, but you're right. I'd much rather him aspire to graduate from college than to get another NUMATS award! She is getting her degree in science, which does interest him. And it's first-come, first-seated, as far as tickets, so he will get to go. He's close to his siblings, so I think he'll enjoy it.

Of course, this is from the perspective of someone who would not undertake any of the choices that you listed (move to a different city, etc.) for my "gifted" children although I would (and have) considered them for my "special needs" child.

I feel this way as well (also having special needs and gifted). Although I obviously want the giftedness to be addressed, it definitely doesn't rise to the level of what I feel we must have in terms of the IEP issues. The NUMATS ceremony is short, but within a longer day of activities. The graduation ceremony and lunch afterwards (with grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc...) will defintely overlap, especially given the two-hour roundtrip.
But, I'm getting over it. I think it was just the initial disappointment. Everyone here has helped me get some perspective!