Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Parental Isolation

Do you ever feel like you have the plague? I cannot stand that in order to maintain relationships I have to make due not talking about something that is so center in my life right now (educational decisions). I'm so FREAKING tired of walking on eggshells or hearing about how the public school is filled with outstanding students, etc. etc. I just want to throw down some articles and say "this" "this" is what I'm talking about. If god forbid we were challenged with a disability of some kind would ever decision I make be second guessed. would i feel so isolated. probably, grass isn't greener. so bad analogy BUT... does it get easier. probably not. ARGGGG. I have to get to a point where I've got enough other interests to talk about I guess. I swear the only friend I have that is completely open ears and frankly darn helpful is a best buddy whose son has learning disabilities (although I think frankly they may see is twice blessed or however it is phrased).

sorry, i'm on a rant from a bad lunch. but !@$!@$(&)39&% can't these people who we thought loved us see what a challenge this is... in here there are lots of people with kids like them but in a non gifted classroom in public school a kid like her might come in once every 5 years.

by the way... any suggestions for completing the YS application. she's so young dd6 it I'm having a hard time picking examples. i digress. back to

ARGGGG. You just want to have a preamble light up over your head... what I'm about to say doesn't imply she will have a better life, is a better person, or that I did anything right for her, for them.

Hmmmm... maybe too low on caffiene and maybe I'll go bite the ears off the baby's easter bunny :-)

I hear you. It can be very lonely experience It's almost impossible to talk about it in front of other people. I do have a few friends with whom I share a lot, but I am still careful of what I say.

I think if your DD had learning disabilities, you would probably still feel alone and people wouldn't get it, but you would be able to talk about it all you wanted. Nobody would think that you were just showing off.

DYS is a huge blessing. Meeting real people with similar kids is priceless.

As far as the application goes, I suggest a glass of vine and get it over with I think the scores are the most important part of the application. Try to think of funny examples, something which surprised you, something your child does better than you (if there is such a thing). Think about something she learned really fast. Look at the scores and concentrate at the area of her strength.

Good luck

*Waving* Another parent here who feels isolated. I have a few friends that I can talk to to a certain point but they really just don't understand me. My mother is good but just recently she told me to let DS5 "just be a kid" . I have stopped talking with her about him specifically for the last few weeks.

My only advice on the application is to just sit and do it. I completed the one for my son in about 3 hours one night. I typed the whole thing up and then cut and paste into the application. Too bad for me that I mailed it mid February and am having the longest wait ever!!!!!!!!!!!! No advice on the content since I am unsure if we have been successful. I must say that I did find it hard to pick examples and limit myself.

ETA: I am eating a solid chocolate bunny right now. You are not alone.

May I join the group? I have not found any moms in my area that understand our situation. I have gotten the "everyone thinks their child is gifted" comment, after which I don't share much with others. Even on some mommy message boards, you can get bashed for someone finding out that your child is young for the grade. You become a pushy stage mom. My friends listen, but don't really understand.

I attended a local gifted parent's group and some even questioned giving Explore tests to 3-4th graders.... This board is a great place to discuss things without judgment.

Jen

Kickball: Hmmmm... maybe too low on caffeine and maybe I'll go bite the ears off the baby's easter bunny :-)

- Too funny! I LOL when I read this. It wasn�t until I started to respond that I realized that I�d had two cupcakes before eating lunch today. L-O-V-E sweets.

Kickball: I just want to throw down some articles and say "this" "this" is what I'm talking about.

- I wonder if the concept of LOG is too hard for some people to wrap their brains around. I�m generalizing, but it seems as if most of the people I know IRL just see: below average, average, and smart.
- When my DS was 18 mos. his teacher encouraged me to speak with the school director about a bump to an older class. When I spoke with the director she told me that my son was no different from the other (mostly) smart children.

LMom: It's almost impossible to talk about it in front of other people.

- I�ve learned to let other people talk about their children first. My old boss thought her grandson had a speech disorder b/c of the way DS was developing. When she told me this I felt awful. I thought every baby was like DS. I was a new mom and an only child with no means of comparison.

Dottie: Even my own parents don't get it.

- I�m not sure how bright DS2 is. I assume he�s only MG like his momma. However, DS�s grandmother has said that she hopes he�s not too smart b/c that would �be such a shame� b/c �those kids are too different from their age-mates.�

I agree with you that there are few people who understand. I am fortunate to have a good friend (gifted herself) who is a first grade teacher and whose husband is a child psychologist. They totally get it, and it's been great to talk with them.

I completely understand. I only talk about DS with a few other moms, people I love and have known for 5 or 6 years. Fortunately, they know our son and know that our issues are genuine challenges, not random whining. These are the same moms who talk to me about their 8yo children still not reading fluently...and I offer my ear for them to talk about that.

I have other friends and acquaintances who don't hear much of anything from me about our son's academics. I just would never bring it up in a conversation.

Tara

It sounds like I'm not too bad off in this department...

My parents get it and are supportive. I talk to my mom almost every day by phone but she lives in another state.

A good friend whose son is PG and the same age as DD moved to Australia but we correspond by email.

And another good friend whose daughter looks at least HG to me (although she has not been tested) is very supportive and lives near me. Sometimes I feel a little awkward, though, because her DS is the same age as mine--they are only weeks apart--but she decided to wait a year for K for him since he has a Nov. birthday and has been on the late end of normal for verbal stuff. So next fall he will start K when DS is starting second grade. The boys are good friends, though, and play well together. Her DD is my DD's best friend.

With other moms at my kids' school, though, I definitely feel like I can't talk about "it". DS' gradeskip has brought up some questions from people...I usually say that the school decided it was a better placement for him and it seems to be going well so far.

Cathy

I agree, it's hard to have conversations unless the parent has kids also in the HG/HG+ range. I am very fortunate to have met another mom with kids like mine. The kids get along famously and the mom is great. We can both talk openly about all aspects of our experiences without any sort of judgement.
I almost feel it you can find just one other mom who is having similar issues, it helps so much.
I also don't bring up the academics/GT issues in conversations. I've had a few weird moments when a parent will ask a direct question or two and I feel kind of on the spot. I had a friend of mine who knew the girls had been tested, point blank ask me my daughter's IQ score. That was weird.
It's those times I feel isolated I guess.

I

I wish I had your gift for words at that time! I was so flabbergasted and blindsighted, I just told her.
That kind of sucked the air out of the room.
I was mad at myself later, I should have handled it better.
She doesn't need to know that information and I have no idea if she shares it with others.

Oh well.

I