Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion new and looking for advice

Hi Skyward, I agree with Kriston's suggestions.

Short-term negative experiences can play out long-term (IMO).

I'm sorry you're going through this.

Best wishes!
Ann

I just saw your edit, skyward, so I'll add to my response accordingly, if you don't mind.

Home schooling can be harder for introverts, but if you can 1) join a homeschooling group, and 2) find a good babysitter (or two!)--especially one who can drive and who is willing to take your child to activities--it makes all the difference. This is experience talking! I'm an introverted HSer who couldn't survive without her HS group or her sitters!

Generally speaking, the ideal homeschooling group is a secular or diverse group, unless you are actually of the religion that the HSing group is. Trying to "pass" as a religion when you're not is usually not worth it, from what my HSing friends tell me. (I never had to go that route, since we have an active secular HSing group in town.)

As for the sitters, look for homeschooling teens or for college students who are available during the day.

As your child gets older, it does get easier to arrange drop-off playdates that don't require you to be social, but get your child plenty of time with friends. Be on the lookout for those!

Also, look into open gym time for preschoolers or classes that might interest her at your park department or local gym. Bring a book or some earphones and people will mostly leave you alone even as your daughter is getting time with people.

Even time in childcare at the YMCA or similar organization is good. 2 hours of childcare per day is free with membership at our local YMCA, so I get some time to myself and some exercise, and my kids can get some time with other kids. Everyone wins!

I hope that helps. It is possible to be an introvert who homeschools and get enough social time for your child without losing your mind. It just takes a little more planning and effort up front to get it arranged.

Hi
Thanks for the advice. I talked to another friend today who's child is also in my DDs class. She had alot of the same concerns I have been having and said she thinks I should bring our DD home right away. I think I will do that. Any ideas on how to address this with the teacher in a nice way that won't make her feel bad and burn any bridges. I don't want to alienate our family or our daughter in the community. We know many people who attend the school and I don't know what our choices will be down the road regarding this school. She is on spring break until the middle of next week so I have some time to think about how to handle pulling her out.

The usual advice is that the less you say, the better. Remember that while this is the absolute center of your personal universe, your child is just one child of 18 or 20 or whatever, and that's just for this year.

If you want to try to maintain a personal relationship with the teacher specifically, you might want to wait to tell her that you're pulling your DD out at the end of the day on your child's last day of school. If you aren't worried about the teacher personally, then I think I'd just call the school and announce your decision over the phone.

I wouldn't recommend telling anyone anything earlier than the last day of school for your DD, though. Imagine what it would be like to teach a child who has given you two weeks' notice, so to speak...awkward! All the school or the teacher really need to know is that your daughter is gone and there are no hard feelings. But the less you say, the easier it is to make a clean break. You don't want to put yourself in the position to be pressed for details, or worse, to be given the hard-sell as they try to keep your DD in class. Ugh. Less is more.

You can say something like, "We have decided to remove DD from the program for the rest of the year, but we appreciate all that you've done for her this year. Thank you!" is probably enough to dispell any potential bad feelings without requiring further explanation. They might be curious, but there are no bridges burned there. If further inquiries follow, be kind, be complimentary, but be evasive. Telling them the truth is probably not going to help you to maintain good relations, but you can't tell them lies either. The only option is to tell them nothing...in as nice a way as possible!

Just be sure you're honoring the contract you have with the school. Disputes over money are what burn bridges!

Good luck! I hope your DD has a better April and May now that she'll be out of that classroom.

One thought: if your daughter wants to say goodbye to friends, then you might need to give the teacher a bit more notice. But I think I'd try to discourage that if I could help it. Better to just have the friends over for playdates and skip the goodbye scene.

Of course, I'm not a big fan of "rampant emotionalism," so if the closure is something that is required in this situation, then you have to give more notice.

Not much more, though...

Thanks for the advice. I don't care so much about the money. It is more important that my DD is happy. I think I will bring her home and talk to the school about it later to see if we have to pay the rest of the year. If we do that would be sad but oh well.

I hear you. Glad to help. I hope it goes well for you and your DD.

K-

Hi Skyward:

I'm coming into this late, but I just wanted to 2nd what kriston is saying.

bk

I do agree to pull her really soon. I left my son in a situation where the teacher was irritated with him and it crushed his self esteem - I so regret my old perspective. Kids who are sensitive to what other's think will pick up this kind of thing.

As for not burning bridges, just agree that she is "too young" for the situation and say thanks! Do the good-bys at home with playdates. You can always ask DD what she wants onces she is safely home.

Best Wishes,
Grinity

My thought is that you may not actually be shy around people of similar levels of Giftedness, you may just be gaurded around people who don't 'get your jokes' or view the truth of your life sympathetically. Like Horton in Horton hears a Who, among those birds and monkeys.

Just a thought,
Grinity