Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Denial or disbelief?!

I quickly read up on it on wikipedia, I don't think this is what is occurring, but I will certainly mention it to the psychologist. The fact that she is only this way when being asked to do something she may not care to do leads me to believe it's not a physical impairment

They gave me a list of the approved counselors, none of which provide this service. I said I would be getting a letter from each of them stating that and sending them in with my appeal

In that case, I second my nomination for
Transforming the Difficult Child Workbook by Lisa Bravo

Giftedness is quite a conundrum, ain't it?

Like some of you have expressed, the assumption that high intellectual ability does not come with its share of difficulties is simply false.

In the kindergarten years, we actually believed my son to be autistic and/or of lower cognitive ability. The teacher said, in more or less words, that he was a "space cadet," disinterested in age-appropriate material. In fact, he was held back a year, because he appeared to be unable to grasp what was being taught.

Boy were we surprised when he was tested and came back with a very high IQ!

In his later years, he opened up a bit, but was always dreamy and introspective. His handwriting was quite illegible, but he seemed to compensate with his intelligence, and made do.

It wasn't until he graduated high school that he admitted to me a lot of thoughts that he had kept sealed inside for all those years. Obviously, as a parent, it's tough to realize you could've done more. Nowadays, psychologists would say he has ADD PI and dysgraphia.

He expressed his inability to focus on menial tasks. He hated getting up early and being told what to think about and when. He hated routine. When the teachers were asking "What" and "When" questions regarding the curriculum, my son was wondering "Why?" He admitted that he always thought himself less intelligent than his peers; that he just wasn't on the same wavelength.

In fact, he nearly failed out of college due to absenteeism. His GPA was extremely low, despite the fact that he was acing tests and papers. He explained to me that he thought it stupid for a class to have a 30% attendance policy. And even more stupid, he thought, for them to enforce it when he could "master the material without showing up."

Nowadays, past college, my son has delved into cynicism and seems to be mired in existential quandaries. He has told me that his ability to do most things, makes it difficult for him to do anything. I want to help him, but it's hard. He just has so much brains, but it seems his emotional development has stagnated.

I feel like I've hurt him. And it's difficult talking to him because he has so many rationalizations and is admittedly much smarter than I. When he opens up, he surprises me with the things he knows.

Ohh... the gripe of the parent of a gifted kid. They've got so much potential but sometimes it's a hindrance not an advantage.

I've found a book that is a scathing satire on life. It captures some sentiments about education. It's kind of an alarming read, but I've related to it on some levels:

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/126692

Looks great, I'm going to check it out tomorrow. Thanks!

Joel: You did the best you could, with what you had at your disposal. I know it's not a great comfort but you're a caring parent and sometimes that has to be enough.

Has your considered counseling? Or career counseling? Perhaps if he finds a calling in life he'll find his way. I have a PG sibling who has had similar struggles in adulthood and it's a painful thing to watch.

My D (age 16) has a non-verbal learning disability. She has many of the same organization issues as the OP's kid... she still has trouble putting her name on her papers, getting them turned in on time, remembering tasks she needs to do on a given day, etc. I still give her a lot of support as a junior in high school. Yet she is an intellectual whiz (fabulous at Quiz Bowl, nearly perfect SAT scores). My dad looks at her and says, "Einstein didn't do so well in school, either". That is not much consolation as we try to figure out her future college and career path, though...

The thought that this may never get better is not a good one! It's so hard to know where to draw the line between holding her hand and having her figure it out by herself. Some things simply need to be done, and I can't wait for her to learn how to do them, but if I keep doing all the 'work' for her she'll never need to learn.

Recently I've worked out that she will wait for someone else to do something for her before having to put the effort in herself. I certainly don't consider myself a helicopter parent, but somehow she has come to rely on the fact that someone will always do it for her so she doesn't have to bother.

She's testing for a public gifted school on Saturday. We'll see how that goes.