Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy DD8 wants out of school. HELP!

But I do want to say, I have already benefited from being here. You all are very knowledgeable about this stuff. I really am glad I found this page. I really have no experience with all this stuff. I have been to the library looking for help but honestly I do 100x better with speaking with people, and benefiting from the experience of others. Thank you guys for all your helpful thoughts and words!

Is it possible that this sudden change in attitude toward school is not related to academics at all but to something that has started happening recently socially that she is uncomfortable telling you directly? Children often use very indirect ways of indicating something is wrong. Could other kids have started ganging up on her? Could abuse be occurring by a teacher or another classmate? Could bullying be occurring? All of these things can lead to shame in the victim, and discomfort directly telling others what's going on.

She's expressed the desire to advance so she is no longer in her current school situation. What happens if you suggest moving her to a different school? If she is equally morose about that idea, then perhaps it's nothing related specifically to people at this school. But if she's interested in discussing a different school, maybe something is going on at her current school that she hasn't fully revealed to you. Best of luck working with your DD to get her into a happier place.

Here's what I think, the CoGAT is usually less reliable than the WISC, but in this case I'm suspicious that the WISC is an underestimate of her abilities, based on

I'm not sure exactly what this last quote refers to - is it 'she doesn't need to be held back' or 'she needs something more advanced than other kids her age.'

I agree that the first step is to set up a meeting with the teacher and listen to what the teacher is seeing. I think it's the role of the parents at this age to bring reports of the child's emotional state to the school. I think that the teacher will be concerned. The teacher may have a much different story, and it will be hard to know what is going on, but I would suggest that you set up a time to observe the classroom for yourself and see if the other girls are actually functioning on such a wildly different level or if your daughter needs some help with social skills. I would also try and observe a classroom one and two grades up so you could get an idea of what sorts of thinking level the older kids have.

If you are interested in evaluating if a grade skip might help, then I would recommend you read the 'Iowa Acceleration Scale Manual.'
see
http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/iowa_accel_scale.htm

How long ago was the WISC done? Was it done for a particular reason? It seems to me that something isn't going well for your daughter, but it's hard to know at this point if the problem is giftedness or something else. A Developmental Pediatrician might be the sort of specialist who might be able to help.

I'm picking up a hint of dis-satisfation about the one to one therapist - it's a little odd that she things things are so much better and your DD still doesn't have anyone to eat lunch with. Of course, I don't know how things were before....

Love and More Love,
Grinity

I try never to base placement decisions solely on IQ scores b/c there are kids with sky high scores who don't need significant advancement and kids with more mildly gifted scores who do well with advancement. That said, unless the IQ scores you have are quite off, I would expect that she'd be a very good student (as she appears to be), but not so far out of the norm that she needs to skip grades, for instance.

She should fit in and do very well in accelerated/GT classes and have peers there. Her achievement scores from the WJ you posted seem in line with that. She's in 3rd grade? For a 3rd grader, she should be a top student but one who can be accommodated within the classroom again, unless, the scores don't line up with the kid well or her school tends toward lower performing kids.

What I'd look for in scoring, and what I suspect others were wanting to know when asking for all of the subtest scores, is whether the pattern shows major scatter. Major scatter tends toward making the composite numbers less reliable. Scores in the 13-14 range are comfortably gifted and she does have some definite low spots related to speed/motor skills, as someone else mentioned. The difference btwn a 10 and a 14, though, isn't as huge as a kid who, for instance, has scores that go from 7 to 18. I wouldn't be inclined to distrust the overall score you got as a result. B/c her WMI was as high as it was, the GAI probably isn't going to be wildly different from the FSIQ either so it won't give you much more info on ability.

Does she seem truly bored with the material and tremendously more advanced than the other kids in the classroom? Can you go in and observe or volunteer to get a feel for what the rest of the class is capable of doing? If it is a misfit btwn her and the rest of the class, is there another classroom she could move to that might have a better peer group?

Due to the sudden nature of her complaints, I'd also wonder like Coll whether there is something else going on at school that isn't totally related to a need for academic acceleration.

Is this the first year where she has not had anyone to eat lunch with, or has this always been an area of challenge?

Sounds like she is having issues with other kids at school that she doesn't want to tell you about, or it could be the teacher and her don't get along... lots of things can be the problem and trying to get some kids to tell you what it is can be next to impossible... It might be easiest if you could get an older kid to talk to her and find out why she hates school so much.. you mentioned she got on well with some older cousins, one of them might be able to find out the answers for you. Often a kid will open up much more with another kid while say nothing to an adult or parent.

I'm hoping that my prior post didn't offend or send the OP away. I guess that I'm just leaning toward exploring other possible options for why she is unhappy in school before looking toward grade skips. I could, of course, be totally off base as does happen at times !