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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,040 Likes: 1
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I probably didn't explain well (and probably need to talk more with him) about the 'talking about what they like.' DS either wants to talk for an extended amount of time about something he's excited/interested about/in or not at all. He wants to do what he wants to do 100% of the time. I'm trying to get him to understand that you have to find common ground with other people, and sometimes listen to them, even if they are talking about something he isn't particularly interested in. I would love for him to find another little boy like him, but we haven't come across anyone quite so obsessed with Legos/Star Wars/Diary of a Wimpy kid!
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@DeeDee - We have an appt with the counselor on the 14th, but I might call and try and talk with the psychiatrist before then about how sad he's been. We've also done soccer and basketball, which he enjoys, but he's still noticeably Different from the other kids, and I don't know if that will go away with time and meds or if that's just how it will be. The hubby and I have discussed other extracurricular activities to look at (karate and piano lessons) but haven't decided anything yet. I know that you were talking about getting on the waiting list for the child study center, but you really might want to make sure that the psychiatrist is aware of these things. Has the psychiatrist definitively ruled out Asperger's? The whole picture really sounds familiar to me.
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Joined: Apr 2010
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I know that you were talking about getting on the waiting list for the child study center, but you really might want to make sure that the psychiatrist is aware of these things. Has the psychiatrist definitively ruled out Asperger's? The whole picture really sounds familiar to me. To me too. The intensity of attachment to a few self-chosen topics especially. Epoh, these problems really can be improved immensely with concentrated effort on your and his part. Nothing is set in stone at this age. DeeDee
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@Pemberley - Thanks a bunch. I can understand how it might take the kids a while to feel comfortable with him. Especially since he does still have fits, just not as often.
@aculady - I will bring them up with the psychiatrist. They did a rather long eval when we first went, and Asperger's wasn't mentioned. I don't know a whole lot about Asperger's but my understanding is that the kids tend to lack the ability to see/notice social queues, right? DS totally see them, he just doesn't feel like he should have to do anything he doesn't want to, if that makes sense.
I kind of feel like he's in a bit of a spiral where anxiety makes his hyper-focusing worse, and that makes social interactions worse, which increases his anxiety....
~amy
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Joined: Sep 2011
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[quote=epoh]. I would love for him to find another little boy like him, but we haven't come across anyone quite so obsessed with Legos/Star Wars/Diary of a Wimpy kid!
Aww, epoh I feel your pain. My DS8 is not ADHD, but has SPD (sensory seeker) and I am constantly worried about how that effects his ability to make friends (he touches people too much, invades personal space). But I have to say that he has gotten so much better at controlling his urges lately and he seems to be doing much better socially at school. Seven was hard, 8 seems to be going much better.
And I just want to suggest that it is not your DS but the other kids at the school who are unusual in their interests. Almost all the boys this age that I know have some level of obsession with Legos/Star Wars/Wimpy Kid! Yes, they talk sports too, but there have to be some kids that share his interests around! I would talk with the teacher and share your concerns about his social interactions. She may have some more insight into the issues and also may be able to silently intervene (by pairing him for a project with someone she knows might be a good friendship fit, or rearranging the seating, for example).
Also, maybe you can work with him to share his interests as well as listen to others. So, for example, my ds loves chess and he will sometimes teach friends how to play if they are interested. But honestly, social relationships for boys are hard at this age, IMO. None of them, not just your ds, have learned really how to be a friend, they are all figuring it out.
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Joined: Dec 2010
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Diagnosing Asperger's can be challenging in highly gifted kids, because they are often able to use their intellect to help compensate for deficits, and so may have better speech pragmatics, wider interests and better comprehension than more intellectually average Asperger's individuals. Have you picked up a copy of Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis of Gifted Children and Adults yet?
Last edited by aculady; 12/07/11 02:53 PM. Reason: typos
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I have not, but thik that will be next after this friendship book!
~amy
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I just wanted to thank you all again. I am feeling much better today! I emailed back and forth with his teacher yesterday and the end result is there is still a certain amount of Official 2nd Grade Work he has to do, but she is going to work on replacing the rest with more challenging stuff. And I am busy reading Friends Forever: How Parents Can Help Their Kids Make and Keep Good Friends. I am also going to see about taking a tour of the Montessori charter school.
~amy
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Joined: Dec 2010
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So glad to hear that you are making progress!
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Joined: Dec 2005
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Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com
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So, apparently, Ethan's behavior in class is bad in a new and different way! I got an email from his teacher today
"(DS) had a rough day, very disrespectful attitude. He received two numbers and I wrote a note to you. He is acting out more, not the usual behaviors that we have been dealing with, but behaviors like throwing things, slamming his desk, etc. I'm going to go through the regular discipline plan with (DS) and he will receive his numbers, detentions, etc. The other things I have been trying aren't seeming to work. You may want to review the discipline plan with your husband and (DS). I'm hoping the Christmas break will help with his attitude."
Gaaah! I have to give her credit for trying to work with him and not just immediately tossing him onto the disciplinary plan, but DANG IT!
~amy
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