Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Behavior Issues in 3-year-old

Ya Know, these are the exact things I would say...

And I have one more weird thing.

She is not being allowed to skip because she doesn't have all the "accademic language" (that is what they called it)...that she will need to do well on the CT Mastery Test.

I'm really not sure if it her Montessori background her her tendency to overthink...but sometimes she write "I don't understand the direction" on VERY easy tasks....tasks she could do and apply in 1st grade...She is now in 4th Grade and has a bit of trouble with undertanding WHAT is being asked of her....

This in only a "problem" if you are hoping the teacher will understand that your child needs harder work..

Our son was going downhill in Montessori after a few months because he had exhausted all that they had to give.

When he turned 3, Mr W was learning to read and do simple math and complex puzzles, but they had none of that at the school for someone his age nor was that offered in their K program.

The teachers were fabulous and the school was great. But they were geared to ND kids, not MG/PG kids.

I just want to caution people that they need to be focused on the kids and not drink the school's kool aid.

The fact that "Montessori is not for everyone" is a Red Flag in my mind. Its a loaded statement meant to spin bad outcomes regardless of the reason.

In retrospect with our experience it means, "Your kid will not do his work like the others therefore Montessori is not for him." when the problem was it was not developmentally appropriate for him to do the equivalent of 15 piece puzzles.

Austin - I am worried that my son will quickly exhaust all the activities they have to offer in his classroom. On the day I visited, even the materials the 6-year-olds were doing were right at his current level. In this moment,though, he is happy. I'll always have my eyes and ears open and always be re-evaluating. I've never been a kool-aid drinker.

Grinity - Sorry, I should clarify! I don't want to encourage him to be a class clown, or have any disruptive behavior. What I meant was that he is a very creative, imaginative, and funny kid -- all positive qualities that I want him to embrace in himself, not push away. Class clown was a really poor word choice on my part because that implies disruptive and negative behavior, which of course we don't want to encourage. That is the kind of behavior that will come out if he gets bored or frustrated.


Thanks for this great discussion. Montessori is so mysterious to those of us that grew up with traditional schools... this has been enlightening!

Will they allow him to work with the 5 and 6 year olds? You might be able to rock soup your way up by starting with his age + 1 then working up from there.

Our Mr W is the class clown, but in a good way. When he was at the Montessori school he hung out with the K kids after school sharing their jokes and playing their games.

In a traditional Montessori School, 3,4,5 and 6 year old ALL work on what they find to be stimulating. In our Montessori 3-6 class there were 3 year old putting together the 100 board and manipulating it to make Math Sentances and Kindergarteners still working with a friend to fill it in. There were puzzles of the world with LOTS of pieces. Children were given opportunities to write books and could make the book as advanced as they like. They however were NOT allowed to waste paper. They had to learn to be responsible learners.
There was a reading loft in my kids' class. They could read whatever they wanted up there.
There is no set place for you child to be any any particular time, so there would be no reason to hold him/her back. As with any classroom, there may be a need to provide harder books or harder puzles...and even grade skips. But the Montessori way of learning shouldn't be thrown out just because a child is advanced. The school we were in was more than happy to skip a child if that child was ready.

The Montessori way of teaching was actually invented to teach mentally challenged children to care for themselves.

I think in an ideal world a child would grow into having some self mastery about what kind of behavior comes out under trying circumstances. There are so many ways to solve problems instead of acting out. I'm grateful that my child acted out, because that was what it was going to take to get it through my thick head that there was a problem. But your child has a mom who already knows whats what. Definitely make sure that they will be forthcoming with the 'bigger kid' works as needed, and some Montessori quite miss the point and get hung up on kids prgressing in some preconcieved developmental order, which our kids don't do. So it's not impossible that your child will need your advocacy, or a new school at some point, but putting that aside for a moment, lots of kids need structure to grow the strength to 'turn it on' and 'turn it off' when the situation warrants. Sort of like kids who move between 2 households with 2 seperated parents and 2 sets of rules. My brothers and I grew up in a united household, but with 'inside the family' rules and 'in public' rules, and I'm so grateful that
a) I learned how to eat with silverware AND
b) I wasn't forced to do it inside the family every single meal
I know kids who had to have perfect table manners every time, and other kids who never learned at all. I think I had the best of both worlds, and that we sell kids short when we don't expect them to learn context specific rules. One of my favorite ideas is 'code-switching' and to me, 'school rules and home rules' are an example of nonverbal codeswitching. see
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Code-switching

This is a long way around my hope that you'll be able to enjoy the process and lend your brave and strong boy some support.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

I would say that many of the materials can be extended, for kids who are ready for more challenging work, thinking esp. about math materials here. If you go on youtube and just search for Montessori Math you will find some interesting stuff that shows this. A 3 yr. old can use the pink tower in one way and a 6 year old in a different way combined with brown stair to learn more advanced concepts. Same with beads chains etc. A good teacher should really be able to extend the materials to meet the kids' needs, and if needed get some more advanced stuff from the Lower Elementary class or send the kid to LE if they are ready to move up. (Even for part of the day).

If you are interested in the math stuff there is a book that explains the Montessori approach to math through elementary school. Might be worth checking out.

I went to a Montessori as a child and I just remember it being wonderful! My favorite thing, that sticks in my mind to this day, was the shape stencils, you could trace inside them with colored pencils...

Maybe they did their job too well because for YEARS I wanted to be a professional student! lol! I used to say I wanted to learn EVERYTHING!

My daughter got a huge kick out of going to the "big Kids" classrooms to get her works.