Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Elementary School Slacking?

I don't know what to think about this or what to call it. PG-DS10 works hard in school and enjoys his days, friends, learning, etc. He does his HW, sometimes not in the mood but gets it done even if he procrastinates. If it's a writing or research assignment I know there will be much more whining, drama, stress, anxiety, procrastinating and crankiness. But those projects get done too. I've become more flexible about when and how he gets it done even though everyone says he needs more structure.

What he really hates are the reports and presentations. He doesn't mind giving oral reports and he is good at presenting but he just doesn't like doing any school work outside of school that takes any time and effort. (unless it's math or science fair) So, now he dragged out this Quarter long project, he did a little here and there but only at my prodding & hand-holding. He finished it this morning (the day it's due!), got up an hour early and knocked it out. Did he put any real effort into it? No, not really. Will he get an A on it? Probably, maybe a B if she's a really tough grader. Is this going to reinforce his slacker approach? Probably. Did he learn anything from the project other than following directions? No.

What do you do with a kid that doesn't want to do this stuff? He will build a complex world in Minecraft all night but ask for 5 measly sentences on the natural resources of Kentucky and he's ready to quit school!

Will it get better down the road? MG/HG-DD8 is so much more motivated to do her work and loves doing projects even though she has to work harder and doesn't get the high grades DS gets.

I'm mostly venting here but if you've BTDT I'd appreciate some input!

Sounds VERY familiar. I can identify. You've pretty much described me as a child, and the bad news is, I'm still pretty much this way as an adult. I should probably be working on something else right now as I type this.

If you focus on the process, then things are clearly not working out. But if you focus on the results, then there is no problem, because the work is ultimately getting done, and the grades are good. And that's where the disconnect is: you're focused on the process, and he's focused on the results. No matter what you tell him about how he's doing his homework, he can always dismiss those comments with the latest grade.

Meanwhile, boredom is torture for kids like this, so when it's a choice between working on a boring assignment or doing something fun, fun wins every time.

I can make some suggestions, but honestly, I'd say this is a personality thing, and he's probably never going to change this about himself, unless he decides he has to. The best that can be done is to come up with some accommodations to deal with his boredom:

- Emphasize how getting the assignment done immediately gets it out of the way so he can move on to fun things worry-free, and that you won't have to bug him about it.

- Give him some distractions while he works. It sounds counter-intuitive, but if he can distract himself from the boredom for moments at a time, it'll allow him to be less tortured while doing the work, which will in turn help him stay focused and on task. Sure, it'll take him longer this way, but since he already works very quickly, it's not really an issue. Music has always worked best for me.

We have found that using Noodle Tools for research papers REALLY increases our son's enthusiasm (not to mention his organization).

It was like pulling teeth to get him to do research before. He's still not super-excited about it when it's not a topic of interest, but Noodle allows him to set small task goals and do just a bit each day, without all that (gasp!) pesty writing by hand stuff. The proctrastination is mostly gone, as long as I help him with the plan (say to write 5 notes per day) up front.

I'm not affiliated with this product in any way, but truly love it. I wish I was affiliated with it!

This is why he resists these things. If this was a project that he knew he could do in a few hours without any real thought or effort and still get an "A", and he knew that he wasn't going to learn anything new from doing it, honestly, why would he want to do more than get up early and knock it out the day it was due? If he had projects that really made him think or learn, and that would really take some *mental* effort (not just take up time), he might work harder - and then he might also learn *how* to work hard, and how to approach challenging problems, organize himself, and persist through difficulties. This project was supposed to take all quarter, and he did it in a day or two. The challenge level is a huge mismatch. Is there any chance that your DS could have some assignments in an area of interest where he was called on to do something that would really stretch his brain? He might be more willing to invest time and effort in assignments that actually required them.

This describes both myself and DS10. If a project catches his interest (happens rarely) he will put a lot more effort into it but I still find he will not do all I know he can do.

I have his parent teacher conference today and this is one of the topics I wish to discuss.

When he feels challenged - and I mean that directly - for instance the teacher says "I doubt anyone in this class can do x." then you can be sure DS will take on that challenge and do it. Unfortunately this also rarely if ever happens. :sigh:

Breakaway

YES YES YES! This is exactly it. I think I would have greatly benefitted from having this experience of being stretched, organizing, persisting etc. earlier in life. The first time I remember feeling that way was when working on my history thesis in college.

I have found that even with topics that are not interesting to my son as envisioned by the teacher, if (and that's a big if) I can get my son to get it started and get some momentum going (and that's where breaking it into smaller chunks really helps)then he finds a way to make it interesting. For example, he was dreading starting some research recently on art and perspective but once he got past a certain point, the lights came on and then I found myself saying things like "no more for tonight -- you have to go to bed."

I think almost any topic can be interesting to a child if you help them keep their mind open to it, but you may have to help them find that connection and point of interest initially.

Things that I might do are provide some thoughtful questions or tie-ins to another area of interest and maybe supplementary reading (links to cool websites). It's just that when it's initially described, it sounds booooring... But, if you can find a way to get past that with your child, you just might be able to get a more thoughtful and in-depth approach. Eventually. That's the hope I have for my son, anyway... that eventually, he'll say "wow, this sounds so boring -- how can I make it more interesting and make it my own so that I am motivated to work on it?" And hopefully, I am helping him learn ways to do this...

For us, that approach has helped with all homework and using appropriate technology to scale back all of the tedious parts of research has helped as well. It's definitely not perfect, but we've been thinking that way for a year, and I see a huge difference.

Edited to add that of course this approach requires having a teacher who allows more complicated and in-depth projects... not narrowly defined projects. Ours does, with approval of course.

this was for reading class. they read a book each quarter then have to do a powerpoint presentation, a written critique and creative part (like a diorama or anything really - he could have done an interpretive dance, whittled a figurine, done a puppet show, made a costume, anything lol) So, i tried to help him get organized with the powerpoint, so he could lay it out and do a few slides each night. the written part was short but he wanted no part of it and left that for last minute, the creative part was of no interest to him. he chose to do a diorama and he came up with a creative idea and he gave it one sitting 2 weeks ago, got a good start then wouldn't touch it again. He did a good of finishing up the powerpoint last night then got up early and finished the written part & diorama. I can;t really complain. I am just kind of confused :|

Honestly, he liked the book and has no issue with presenting in front of a group. He's very good at that actually. he knows how to use powerpoint better than me. he has great comprehension, and a high reading level. The diorama came out great. i felt the written part was lacking but he met the requirements on the rubric and it was not weighted very heavily anyway (he said why bother if it's only worth 10 points!) the only thing you can get out of these projects, imho, is learning the process of doing these types of projects so if you don't learn time management and blow it off what's the point?

he has done this on science projects and when he was younger we could do this more on other subjects but as he is getting older it's all "why do i have to do this"

as far as more in-depth work, etc. he does not want MORE work, he wants less work at home since he says he learned it in class already. i agree, HW is a drag! and I don't think he needs it. I think my DD needs it to reinforce what she is doing in school but he doesn't. So, what can you do? Anyone ever have a psych. write a HW exemption? it really does cause stress and anxiety! lol

me and you both, dude! i guess that's why I have wanted to teach the skills early on and keep them motivated but i guess if it's just nature vs nurture there isn't much I can do about it!