Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Behavior Issues in 3-year-old

I have experience with Montessori.

I felt the same way when I visited the school. A 3 year old was being told to use the paydough properly and not put it on his head. I thought this was harsh and kept her home another year.

When she started at 4, because it was the best school choice available, I realized how wonderful an education and environment it really is!

The teacher should not be engaged in creative play. The children are allowed to be creative, as long as the creativity is child led....

The teacher should never encourage play, or jokes. She is their to be a guide. She is their to guide the children and introduce the children to use things that they will explore and discover on their own. She will step in when the child is ready for other discoveries and introduce more to the child.

The child uses the teacher as a tool in the classroom to learn.

The teacher is NOT your child's friend.

The teacher should be well trained to handle emotional and dicipline problems.

Our 3-6 class teacher was warm and friendly..not intimidating, but VERY sturctured. She knew what each child was working on, talking to...and made strategic alterations to the class set-up...even if she thought that two children playing together would be holding back one child's learning. She would let one child become involved with an activity before excusing the other child from group...That way each child could chose their activity based on their own needs and not that of their friends..

She would then create a place for them to work together with something they were equal at.

The children learn from the children in Montessori.

Activities are called "work" not projects or crafts of toys. Using the Montessori material in a respectful way ensures that your child is learning from them. If your child is using the beads as a necklace (which all children do until they are taught how they are really to be used) he is not learning from them and should chose and activity that will help his learning.

A child who is not ready for an activity (shown by misusing it) will simply be asked to chose something else.

The teacher is trained to notice if the child is ready for advanced work, or is simply not ready or interested enough to learn from a particular "work" station.

An example....there is a washing bin, some clothing, a clothes line and pins....

The child who in interested in this work, will fill the bin with water by using a small pitcher, bringing to the sink, filling it up and pouring into the bin. The child will be told how many times he should return to the sink for the appropriate amount of water. They then wash the clothes. They are taught to squeeze the clothes to remove excess water and hang them on the line with the pins. Using the pins properly helps develop their writing muscles....

When a child is done, he/she empties the water from the big and dries the bin and uses a dry mop to dry any spills. They are done.

Until the teacher thinks that a child is ready to follow all these steps on his/her own, the child isn't presented the work.

I know from experience that it is a very satisfying for the child to be taken seriously and do tasks that the child feels are meaninful...

Often my daughter would choose to sit at the 4 person table and draw with her friends. The are allowed to talk. The pictures she drew were done socially. She would also write stories. One time, she sat at the table and 3 other children told her how they wanted the story to go, and she wrote it down.

She came home with a 3 page story. The children were engaged, creative, socail, and learning.

I believe they sat at that table for an hour and a half.

Another reason the structure works for young children - they need to feel safe.

Any child not following the rules is singled out...not the whole class, just the child. This prevents that child from interupting YOUR child's learning process.

Mistakes are encouraged, there is never any shame and there are not tests...there is NO competition.

It is beautiful...I miss Montessori...:(

My DD9 stayed until she finished second and my DD6 was there for age 3 and 4...

We moved and they are both in public school now.

Imaginative play has a crucial role in brain development, so if this teacher is crushing that, that's a huge red flag. I'd run.

Then again, I'm the proud father of a little girl whose current running gag is to spray Febreeze on her butt and sing about it, so consider the source.

Well, I don't know that it is a Montessori practice, but that teacher sounds like no fun. And IMO preschool should be fun! Have you gone and observed the class?

I am by no means an expert on Montessori, but I will share my experience. I observed an elementary level one last spring and decided against it. I really liked the small class size, and that each student had an individual education plan, different weekly goals and they could choose the order in which they did the assigned activities. However, in the classroom all the students seemed to be doing their own things and not really interacting with one another. Even snack time was taken when they wanted so, for example, there was one girl sitting alone eating snack. While they were all busy learning, I didn't feel like there was much excitement in it.

For a quiet kid who enjoys doing things on their own, it would probably work great. But I could not imagine how my extroverted, funny, bubbly 7 yr old who is brimming with enthusiasm for learning new things would fit there.

I agree with Austin, go with your gut. And if you can, get in there and observe.

Montessori is about choice...a child may chose to eat alone...they are not spoon fed...some students are so engaged that they forget to even have snack...This happed to my daughter often.

She had to learn that if she didn't want to feel hungry, she needed to eat. She had to decide if she wanted to wait for a friend or eat by herself. She chose everything..She chose how to spend her time.

If the teacher thought she was making poor choices she would narrow them down for her....she rarely made pour choices...She often chose things to work on that I thought were not challenging, but she was working on what she wanted to become and expert at. When she felt she had mastered something she would move on....not because time was up...not becuase she had to because the rest of the class was moving on, but because she felt she had mastered it.

My daughter was way above grade level when she transferred to public..and she has very good executive funtioning skills. She knows how to use her time and thinks for herself. She often wonders why there are so many meaningless things in her day at public school.

The teachers are highly trained to guide your children to learn to help themselves so that they do not have to relly on other people for their happiness...:)

Also, I couldn't have more creative and fun little girls, but 3 hours a day isn't too long to work on things..plus, they do have recess...and they ARE chosing what to work on...Children gain a lot of confidence when they are being supported to learn rather than scattering ideas everywhere...:)

I also have experience with Montessori. I wasn't looking for anything except a good daycare/school. I still am not sure what all of the "tools" and procedures are for in the pre-k ages but my kids thrived there. I will say not all "montessori's" are the same and once ours gets to kinder it begins a transition to more typical school-like activities, even more in 1st and 2nd grade. So I don't think it is a traditional type montessori all around. Any school can call itself "Montessori", they may or may not be certified by one of the national organizations. This may or may not make a difference as they could use the methods and still be a good school.

That said while we loved it, I know some friends feel the girls liked the environment better than their boys did (I only have girls). Another friend had a boy that just didn't thrive with the "structure" at the particular school he was attending but I think this can be school/teacher specific.

I'd give it a chance. If it was the director, I don't know that I would put much weight toward that. The first time I went to visit the school we go to now I discounted it because of the "uniforms", the fact that we couldn't go into the classrooms for drop off (it seemed weird), and I didn't mesh with the director. We ended up there after a trial somewhere else and we've loved it. The director is still there but it's the curriculum director that makes our school the place that works for us. She's constantly challenging the kids to do more.

This is a really interesting discussion. I am interested in the approach, but was leery of it in practice. Sydness, your descriptions are great, but lead me to a few more questions. First, how do kids like your dd do when they leave this environment and return to a public school environment in which they have significantly less control? And in your description above of using the materials properly, what if a child wants do use the materials in a way that is not intended, but still provides a learning experience? Is that allowed? My ds is often creates "experiments" at home and using all kinds of household materials to do so. Also, how does the teacher's approach work with gifted kids who may be used to and seek more social interaction with adults?

I am not intending to be critical of Montessori, I am genuinely interested in how it deals with these issues. This just got me thinking about it again. There are some schools near me that I would consider but for some of these concerns. And ITA with the pp who said there is alot of variation between schools. I just wonder what the Montessori approach is "supposed" to be and whether the one I visited is following it well or not.

I'm currently looking for a preschool for my daughter, and I'm leaning away from Montessori partly because she is introverted rather than extroverted. I know she can work by herself on things for hours at a time. What she's not good at is acting as part of a large group. I want her pushed outside of her comfort zone sometimes. She can mop my floors and clean my shirts at home if she wants. What I don't have access to that preschool does is lots of other kids about her age.

One of my other concerns is that of vocabulary development. From the way Montessori has been explained to me, I don't see how a 3 year old with the vocabulary of a 5 year old would extend her vocabulary much. She wouldn't learn many new words from any of the other students that would be around her. She needs significant verbal communication with adults for that, I think.

I know it sounds odd that I'm simultaneously concerned with what might be her greatest weakness and her greatest strength, but ... well ... I am.

I have one introvert and one extrovert. Both made friends at Montessori school. There was way more time for socializing there because there weren't many teacher lead activities and not very many transitions. My girls transferred great to public school. My dd9 has made many friends but none close. I believe this is due to her giftedness. I think that if it is adult interaction you are looking for for your child and not adult guidance then Montessori would be a bad choice. But I can't think of a school environment that provides a lot of adult interaction other than some special education programs.

lol...sorry about all the typos...:) I was at gymnastics trying to type on my iphone...lol