Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Social Norms

oh and I totally can't hold a job I am just like you islandofapples - all that Work Stuff (meetings, butt kissing, etc) gives me the cold heebie jeebies. I just plain hate it. Also, I can't pay attention when people are talking so I just hear BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHWhat-do-you-think-about-that? lol I find interesting artistic ways to generate $ and am very luck to be in a position where i have DH supporting the family and i can afford to be a big flake!

Are we talking about work here?

Meaning the painful and unpleasant thing we do only because we don't have enough money to not work?

I agree that avoiding risk is important. That would just add stress to an already meaningless activity.

It is all about your options. If you have enough money, then you have choices. If you don't have the funds to feed your family, then options could be limited.

There are all kinds of situations, outside of work, where we play the social game. Whether we are advocating for our child's education or getting involved in politics, or trying to set up playdates with boring people because the kids play.

I do not think there is anyone who likes the "getting the job" stuff, resume, interviews, dressing for the interview. Or even the games at work. But people like the paycheck part. And there are some really cool jobs. I loved my job when I was an analyst and traveling around the world in my 20s. And having meetings on deals. Or in my 30s when I was doing strategy for investment banks and exchanges. There was a lot of fun. BTW, the latter one was my own firm. I look at a bunch of consulting firms and decided to venture out. And talk about social stuff when you are selling services....you put yourself in schmooze, in first gear and idle forever as these people take forever to decide whether to use your services and milk your brain.

So the grass is always greener whatever side you are on.

But money always helps.

Ren

This is kind of interesting because I am really good at the job hunting & gathering. It's like a game...a conquest. Once I have the job I don't want it or very quickly become unhappy and start rocking the boat. Even the $$ can't keep me. I've had some realllly interesting jobs too. I was the editor of Playgirl magazine for a weekend (i called them back and quit before I ever put in a day of work!)

It is true that hunger is motivating and if it were up to me support my kids on my own it would probably be different. I *hope* it would be different and that I am really just spoiled & lucky!

I lead a lot of quirky, highly intelligent people spread out over the US.

Its all about the right environment. Put people in the right environment and they will thrive no matter how much the job sucks.

Every job has times when you just have to shovel the coal in the boiler room of the Titanic!

I think we got off topic.

I think the answer to Island's question is that giftedness has little to do with the acceptance or recognition of social norms/social cues.

My 13-year-old son and I are isolated homeschoolers, but my son finds people interesting and likes to watch and listen to them. Sometimes we go to fast food restaurants and listen to groups of kids my son's age. Cursing, acting tough, making fun of people who are physically weaker, using the word "gay" a lot, not using any big words, talking only about sports or hunting, are some of the things my son is not willing to do to fit in socially with other boys his age in our small town. He is not willing to dumb down his vocabulary or pretend that he doesn't enjoy reading and learning or musical theater.

He is much more social with friends who share his interests. He is a totally different kid around his friends who tend to be brighter than average.

My husband comes from a family that talks like college professors and one of his siblings is a college professor. I have a retired engineering professor in my family. It is probably normal for my son to talk like a little college professor but he was teased about it before he even started kindergarten. He hadn't been socialized properly, taught to dumb down his language and only talk about socially acceptable things like football because he didn't go to preschool and was only around our family.

I guess this talking like a professor thing can be a gifted problem even for adults. My brother-in-law's wife is divorcing him. She told him she never felt comfortable around him or his family because of the way they talked. They used too many big words that she didn't understand.

I found this on Wikipedia about personality traits:

"Openness is a general appreciation for art, emotion, adventure, unusual ideas, imagination, curiosity, and variety of experience. The trait distinguishes imaginative people from down-to-earth, conventional people. People who are open to experience are intellectually curious, appreciative of art, and sensitive to beauty. They tend to be, compared to closed people, more creative and more aware of their feelings. They are more likely to hold unconventional beliefs.

People with low scores on openness tend to have more conventional, traditional interests. They prefer the plain, straightforward, and obvious over the complex, ambiguous, and subtle. They may regard the arts and sciences with suspicion or even view these endeavors as uninteresting."

My son would have high scores on "openness" and I am just guessing that the majority of the people in our small town would have low scores on openness.

So maybe it is also a personality trait issue.

My highly gifted stepson doesn't seem to care that much about making a lot of money or social norms. He could not handle office politics and quit jobs that paid well. He is an IT person with experience but no college degree. I noticed that none of his IT friends look like they follow social norms, but then maybe that is the social norm for IT people.

no... I didn't say that it is important to avoid risk! It's just that you have to acknowledge that the risk is higher (sometimes much higher) once you are the one owning the "golden egg". Personally, I know that at this point in my life/family I am not in a risk-taking spot. That will likely change once the kiddos are schooled.

Well, there's the additional fact that it's your face on all the TV ads.

Who wants to be known as the "TV lawyer" when you can avoid it? I mean, people criticize the ads all the time.

I cringe just thinking about it.