I actually have read Friends Forever on your recommendation Grinity. And I thought that it was helping, and that my DD was ready for a group play (which I had avoided for 2 yrs!) and um, Disaster
Wow! That does sound tough to deal with.
but if you think it was working, it probably was, and this is just a reminder to go back to the 'rules.' Hey, if there are rules for dating, why not for playdates?
Now that I think of it, we kept it to playdates with either one other child or a few select pairs of siblings who had long ago worked out their dominance issues. There is one friendship where the other kid "B" seems set on inviting a kid "C" at the last minute just so that they can experiment with the 1 vs. 2 dynamic.
I've basically refused playdates at the other kid's house. I really like the other mom, and sometimes both DS and I visit at the same time. And when the other friend "C" 'just happends' to be dropped off, we get up and I take my kid home. I 'suddenly remember' that we really really have to go. Theatre is a part of life, right?
I'm actually quite proud of what we
all have been able to figure out together. Every few years I let this particular bunch try group playdates again...sometimes they work and I let them go a few more tries. Sometimes it's the same old-same old, and I decline the next few invitations. DS says it's a good thing that he met this particular child at daycare bacause if they tried to become friends now it would just never happen since they move in totally different circles. I figured if my DS gets to know and be able to handle this pattern of behavior as a pre-adolescent in a same-sex friendship, then hopefully he won't be blindsided when he sees the same behavior in the dating world. I haven't gotten any reports to see if this is true, but at least if DS ever brings up the topic, we'll have some common references to discuss: Remember when "B" would always try to get "C" over during your playdates....
((shrugs and more shrugs))
Grinity
