Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Personalities are mostly nature, right?

That sounds like about the age my little one used to signal that he wanted to nurse by walking up to me with one of my books in his hand, as if tempting me and an inquiring look: "Nuz?"

Yeah - I was 'caught' - it had become a habit of mine to prop a book just behind his head when did our lying down nursing sessions.

I had planned on spending every moment of that time 'bonding' and paying attention to the wonder of him. Well, we did spend lots of time that way. I think my expectations of myself were too high!

Smiles,
Grinity

Yep--my DS did this too. I had completely forgotten about it. He still finds ways to demand my attention regardless of what else is going on and we are CONSTANTLY having to point out that he is talking over someone or interrupting. His response is almost always, "But Mom, it's only a minute....". Sigh.....

These kids are so manipulative.

I have a video when DS was 10 months old; he was using my hand/arm as an extension of his to get things that were out of reach.

Wow! Great to know I'm not alone and didn't cause all this.

I take back what I said about copying yesterday. We started teaching her to go potty a few days ago and yesterday and today she's been making the sign for potty and we've been taking her (she makes the sign while on the potty, too, but doesn't smile or look pleased with herself lol.)

I just fed her and it looked like she peed so I asked her if she had to go potty (with the sign) and she shook her head back and forth. Uhhh WHAT?! I took her anyway and she had already peed her cloth diaper like she apparently indicated.

She likes to touch my laptop so she can laugh when I say "No.", but I don't think she really gets "no"? Or maybe she does... We'll see if she keeps shaking her head at me.


EDIT: I am actually slightly suspicious right now that she is only signing potty because the potty is a novel thing. She seems to like the process and watching me flush the toilet. She tends to do novel things for a few days and then never does them again for weeks or months until she apparently decides she needs or wants to do them again (like rolling over or babbling bababa for instance.) I hope she takes to it!


Timely info, since I've been trying to get her to take a nap in her swing for awhile now today. She is rubbing her eyes and closing them, but yelling at me when I leave her in there. Sometimes I give it a minute or two and she goes to sleep, but not today! I have no idea how we are ever going to get her to nap on a stationary bed for any length of time without nursing. I guess I just have to wait til she feels ready?


Haha I will have to think of it that way, then. Do all babies not do that? She grabs me by the hair and pulls my entire head her way if she gets the chance. Sometimes she just wants to "kiss" me, though or eat my nose.


I keep saying to myself that a tiny baby can't be manipulative because I don't want to regard DD like that, and that wants and needs are the same thing for the first year of life, but does that really apply to an 8 month old that acts like a 12 month old?

Yeah, we must have heard that same 'wants/needs' story somewhere -
but you've asked the million dollar question.

In hindsight, I would suggest you treat her like her mental age (which could be more like 18 months - visit a daycare center if you get curious)when she's in a good mood and like her bio age when she's tired, cranky or sick.

BTW - it's cool that you are using signs with her...I think that will be a big help. At my son's daycare one of the mom's taught her daughter the sign for 'more' and lots of the other families copied. It was so interesting to me how my son 'got' that more could mean 'more cookies' 'more kisses' 'more uppies'... whatever.

So maybe we can think 'manipulative' in the Montessori sense of a tool that can be used in Math, for example. I don't mind being a tool for my child - although it changes what's appropriate to be a tool of as they age. One of the other moms used to say to my son, "Oh, that's great problem solving!" sincerely, as she would pry the scissors out of his hands, for example, when he used his noggin to get into some minor trouble that I would just as soon wished he hadn't been so interested in, such as trying to work the car door lock without a key.

Not the faint of heart or shy of manner...

L&ML,
Grinity

Hmm good thinking with manipulative. How do I get an idea of where her mental age is without visiting a day care?

We've only been around a few babies that were a month or two younger than DD (so 5 and 6 months) and... well both DH and I were like, "Wasn't DD like that at like 2 months?" and "No, I don't know if she was ever like that."

They were absolutely adorable, sweet babies. They seemed so content to just hang out in arms and nurse and sleep. Occasionally, one would smile at us or look at us. That sort of behavior is completely alien to us.

I can't tell how old other kids are just by looking at them.

I know some people start doing Montessori type stuff when their kids are around 18 months to 2 years, so I want to know where she is so we can start when she is ready. But there is that asynchronous thing, too. She might be ready to learn something, but not be ready to do the activities I have for her.. or she might learn stuff and then not care about my activity when I finally show it to her and I'm afraid I won't be able to tell if she doesn't like it because she is bored or because it is too advanced for her (like when I was "testing" to see if she got object permanence yet. She played my little "find the toy" game once or twice then crawled up to me and attempted to pull my shirt down to get at the hidden boobs. DUH, MOM. I know things are there even when I can't see them.)

I am checking out the learning store site you referenced in the other thread right now.

I just wanted to add my btdt here too. No you didn't do it. Nothing will reassure you of that more than if/when you have another baby and face a totally diffrent set of problems,

Hang in there!

Hey, this makes me wonder why nobody makes a crib that vibrates, just a bit, to get a kid to sleep???????

Chris - they do :-).

I think this was the crux of why the first year of DD's life was so difficult for me. I had a vision in my head of how life with my baby would be and she pretty much threw that right out the window from the moment she was born. Many friends and family members had babies of similar ages and my DD was just not comparable. I don't think I have a single picture of her smiling until she was close to two. She just wanted Mommy - 24/7. We had to be physically touching and engaged in some type of movement or verbal stimulation at all times. I am not ashamed to admit that the day we discovered Baby Einstein videos at around 4 months was one of the best days of my life. 20 whole uninterrupted moments in a day!!! I had no one to talk to about my DD. I honestly think that they all thought I was exaggerating or PPD. Those that would listen and try to understand would pass it off as something I did. My mommy-esteem took a big beating. Everything turned around when she was about 13 months, though. I was at my very wits end (in the grocery store, go figure) and a middle-aged lady came over to tell me that she thought I was doing a great job with my little girl and how lucky she was to have a patient mom. She went on to say that too often others point out what we do wrong and fail to mention everything we do right, and that as mothers we need to have the confidence to parent our children in a manner that works for them and us.. everyone else be damned! What a revelation for me!! I just stopped talking about my problems and started doing whatever would work to make DD happy instead of trying to do things the 'right' way, as stated in all parenting books.

So here is my advice: you do what works and love your baby and don't let a single person make you feel bad as a parent!! Sure she's different... but think of how all of her strengths will translate into adulthood. She will set the world on fire!