herenow, yes I have been warned by a couple of parents at the school that I need to be an informed consumer. I am learning a lot about Montessori education so I can ask intelligent questions and understand the answers. (For instance when he first started I asked about his reading and they said he wasn't very excited about the pink cards. So I had to find out what the pink cards were. Once I did, I explained his reading ability and now he reads short stories instead. But I had to figure out what "pink cards" meant.)
DeeDee, one of the problems I have had as the parent of a language delayed child is helping people understand that a child can have a delay in language and not be Autistic. I am glad our knowledge of Autism has progressed as much as it has in the last few years, and that we have come to understand Autism and Aspergars better. However, that has also come with shifting boundaries. It used to be sufficient to say that my child attached well and gave lots of hugs. Now it is better known that children with ASD also attach well and give hugs. Like I said, it is terrific our knowledge about ASD is improving.
In my second post I pointed out that he doesn't fit the DSM-IV-TR criterion, and he really doesn't. That is my measuring stick and that is how I know he does not have an ASD. But most people don't want you to whip out your diagnostic manual and take them through each point. (As a matter of fact it surprised me greatly that my son's first teacher wasn't interested in it at all either. She preferred the lists of general characteristics instead.) So I usually have one or two characteristics ready to point out when we have the conversation: "Does your child talk strangely?" "Yes, he is language delayed." "Oh, he is Autistic." "No, not Autistic. He (insert characteristic here)."
Most people just want to understand why they should not consider my child's behavior typical of Autistic kids. He is typically outgoing, a total ham, enjoys teasing, talks to everyone we meet, participates in multiple child imaginary play, has a strong sense of empathy, is sympathetic, loves to be the center of attention, has no difficulty striking up or carrying on a conversation, even with a total stranger, and typically has no trouble in social situations. It is certainly possible that some of these characteristics might also be characteristics of kids with ASD, but I think some of them would violate the definition of ASD. But that is also what I am trying to find out. Are the DSM-IV-TR criterion still sufficient, or are they only one subset? And if they are only one subset then is there a simple way to say what the defining characteristic(s) of ASD is(are)?
Grinity, that is good. (Smile) I'm glad my son hadn't seen the duct tape episode on Mythbusters yet or he might have come up with the same thing. At school he was repeating himself over and over. I know exactly where this comes from because I have used the "broken record" technique on him now and then. So when he doesn't feel like I am listening he will do it to me. As soon as I acknowledge that I heard him he stops, sometimes mid word. (And, yes, he doesn't see any difference between children and adults. He has tried to reinforce, or engender, behavior he likes and extinguish behavior he doesn't like in me. His father and I aren't terribly manipulatable, but it doesn't stop him from trying.)
juicyonline, I am not quite sure what you are asking. I think there were several stressors: A teacher who was easily manipulatable (Now that you conquered the world, what are you going to do with it?); another teacher that didn't like him and that he wasn't terribly pleased with himself, the adult discussions of his "issues", social training, and ASD (He came to me one day, just after he changed schools, and asked me if he was broken. The adults at school assumed that he didn't understand them. They were very wrong.); being placed at a table with all non-English speakers; the poor way the teacher handled it when I sent his home reading book to school so he could show her how well he read; having lots of time during which he wasn't supposed to talk or move but when he didn't have anything to do (It is really unreasonable to expect a 6yo to sit still and keep quiet for 30 to 40 min with nothing to do.); and the lack of opportunity to explore the toys and other interesting things that were sitting out in the classroom. None of these stressors exist in his new educational environment. I hope I answered your question. If not feel free to take another stab at it.
