Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional HELP: constant singing talking moving

I never heard of a hyp0tonic kid who was really fidgety and bouncy. Typically floppy is the total opposite of bouncy.

Lately, DD has been having fun do the whole different accents thing too. Just yesterday she made each one of her fingers talk to each other in a different accent. We've definitely entered the non-stop talking phase too and incidentally it seems to get worse around bed time. She seems to feel the MOST need to talk if DH and I are trying to discuss something... ahh! Oh, and add to that that now she thinks it'S a good idea to rearrange our furniture (obviously, the smaller pieces since she can't exactly move the couch by herself! :D).

Just commiserating with you, no real suggestions. We TRY to do a lot of outdoor time but DD wants to just swing the entire time at the playground instead of running around getting out her energy. Add to that that she has an ear infection, which means no swimming at the moment, one of the best ways to get rid of all that pent up energy!

We've always wanted to do a martial art with her (more for safety reasons than anything else)... when can you start with that?

Thanks! Wow, that sounds great with all those safety lessons, definitely something we'd be interested in. We have a Karate school literally right next door to us so I might ask there when they start (I'm not sure if it's for kids, though...). There's also one associated with DD's school but I think I recall them start at age 5.

Hi for some reason I do not have all the posts to this section...so hopefully this is not too redundant. My now dd13 was full of energy. We did karate. One of the things we were taught in karate was to quiet the energy, focus and then let the energy "explode" into moves. It was years of training in focusing and directing the energy. I do not think we could have done Yoga or Tai Chi as they were to "slow" and we needed the speed of Karate. (I am also very high energy which made it worse in some ways as we would bounce off of each other, hence I needed training as well!) When my dd was 4 she could hike four miles up hill and we did a lot of that. I think being outside made all that energy dissipate into thin air, whereas being inside made it bounce off the walls.

passthepotatoes,

My son has low tone as part of his issues, and he could never stay still. He's still fidgety. And he talks, hums and sings almost constantly, even if no one else is listening - and he's 14. His OT explained some the constant motion as being partly a retained reflex issue (movements constantly being reflexively triggered) and as attempts to maintain proprioceptive input, so he would know here his body was in space. The constant movement improved somewhat as a consequence of the reflex integration techniques she used with him, and what remains gets better when we do deep pressure and massage a few times a day for him. Nothing but reading a sufficiently absorbing book or playing video games that are at the limit of his capacity will make him quiet, though.

Aculady - I think that gets to the problem with using the terms low tone or hypotonia - they are way too vague and can be used to describe kids with minor impairments and kids who are lucky to ever learn to walk. Lots of OTs seem to use that pretty freely to describe kids with a very minor degree of lack of strength. I'm thinking more of kids who are actually really floppy - kids like Lori's son who have trouble with even walking into an event from the parking lot. It is hard to have the energy to be bouncy when you are totally floppy.

Thanks for the insight, Hereandnow. I used to be right there with her connecting and meeting her intensity for a good portion of the day but I also have a three year old who is very demanding and active and some hormonal issues so I have less to give. Nonetheless, I thought about what you said yesterday and tried to truly be there when I was interacting. I am going to do that today as well, though it does seem it is never enough. I think finding some friends for her to play with would solve so many things. Perhaps if I can find an engaging program for her to be involved with that would also direct her energy. Right now she is just home full time with me, no classes, is very hard to motivate to go outside and play (doesn't like bugs, the sun, etc.) and we don't have any kids nearby. Yesterday was nice (which has been rare here. It has been raining and cold) and so I got her out a good portion of the day. Thanks everyone for suggestions, and also empathy.

One of the hardest parts for me is that I can't find quiet time to read, write, reflect, surf the Internet etc. to the extent I'd like. I need those quiet times to rejuevenate. She seems not to require any quiet, introverted moments and I have my own sensory issues. I don't like loud noises, bright lights, commotion, and yet I gave birth two two loud, active, sensory seekers! She also crashes into me hard, leans hard, and elbows me etc. I have to be on guard LOL

She wakes at 5 am and doesn't nap, then can be up until 8:30 at night and by that time, I am exhausted! I have done things to tweak her sleeping, but have accepted she will always wake up early and be on fire before the rest of us have come to full consciousness. Acceptance is the name of the game in some ways. Yesterday I decided that the road to happiness for me was to let go of doing the things I wanted to do for myself: working in the yard, reading. When I try to do them, I get frustrated because she is so disruptive. If I don't try to do them, then there is less of a battle. Some day when she is in school or more independent, I guess I will read, write, and garden...

oh, to all those who mentioned video games, do you have any recommendations?

Hi TwinkleToes: I am just nodding reading your post; you and I are a bit alike I think. Some of it is the introverted parent (who needs to recharge alone) parenting a highly extroverted child or two (who recharge by interacting with other people) Of course the problem is that the kids are recharging at the same time they are draining you! I also imagine that the giftedness magnifies all this.

You are so right to be thinking about bringing other people/children into the mix. Even story time at the library is a start (and while the librarian is reading, there are all those nice, quiet grown up books lining the walls for you). Would an activity like this suit her?

Will she go to Kindergarten in the fall? Even if it is not a great academic fit, the social piece could be priceless.

My other challenge when my kids were this age was I wanted to be friends with other parents, but I didn't really have the "social energy" to initiate the friendships. Everything got much easier once I had a child in school and they started to find their friends, which naturally led to friendships with their parents for me.

In the meantime hang in there and be sure to get as much sleep as you can. My downfall was always trying to "recharge" after the kids went to bed...by staying up late. It didn't work & the next day I'd be exhausted.

That sure sounds familiar - it is a bad cycle but so easy to do.

Twinkletoes - I am agreeing more people would be good. Any possibility you have a nice energetic 10-12 year old in the neighborhood who might want to be a "mother's helper" afterschool and this summer. It likely wouldn't cost as much as babysitting and your daughter might enjoy having a devoted playmate.

Hi Twinkletoes.
I have a super,high energy kiddo too (no ADHD).
These are things that have worked for us:
#1. a mini,one-person trampoline. It is a fixture in our family room and is used throughout the day (we are on our third!). This is a serious lifesaver.

- Schedule your day so that your daughter knows that at x time(s) she will need to occupy herself in her room or other quiet space. This should not be seen as a punishment of course and could be worded as quiet playtime or "me time" (meaning her). Even if her "me time" is in the kitchen teach her that she needs to occupy herself for an appropriate time frame (based on age). I would actually do this twice a day. Over time it will help and it will also give her skills she actually needs . It is not realistic to allow a child to talk all day, non-stop,and interrupt (even when it is their nature). These "me times" can be short, but you will see an improvement and her ability to occupy herself will increase.
- When my son wanted toys/video games that involved construction or reading instructions to set up I would tell him that if I purchased it he had to set it up himself or teach it to himself. I have never set up a video game etc. and he occupied himself figuring things out. I started this when he was 5 (please note that I did set boundaries/rules especially when it involved electricity).
Hope this helps- bet the trampoline would be a winner : )