Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments To skip a grade or not..

Hi all,

We have recently moved to CO, and our son is in 3rd grade (public school). We lived in Europe previously and our son skipped 1st grade there. The public school in CO put him back to his normal grade because of his age. I told them that was fine as long as he was assessed and taught at the appropriate level (my silly notion). He wasn't.

Now that he is tucked in nicely with his peer group, but suffering academically, they suggest he skip 4th grade. My son is adamantly opposed. He has moved around too much. I suggested (again) that the school teach above grade level, but apparently they don't. I suggested he take some subjects in the next grade, and they don't block their instruction times.

Any suggestions? Since he was having bouts of extra noise in the class in his boring subjects, I took him to a psychologist (gifted). She suggested skipping 4th because he was under served.

I am caught between a rock and a hard place. Any suggestions are appreciated.

We live in Colorado, too. I don't know where in the state you are, but where I live if the schools are suggesting a skip, it is probably more than necessary. My eldest did a few different things before skipping 5th (homeschool, charter school, GT pull outs, subject acceleration). In terms of in school differentiation, the grade skip has worked the best.

On the other hand, you may have to do a sales job on your ds b/c most schools will use the Iowa Acceleration Scale when approving a skip and a child be opposed is an immediate "no" on the IAS. Could you try to give him opportunities to make friends with the kids in the next grade up though extracurriculars or subject acceleration?

Hi KatBarber -welcome!

At this point, it is my opinion that you are still the parent, and need to make decisions for your child, even if he doesn't like it. If you feel that it would be more appropriate to skip a grade, then maybe you can do some other things to help ease things. For example, promise that you will facilitate play dates etc. with kids from the former class, and start doing that over the summer. Also, is there any chance that the school would let your DS go down a grade for any classes, like gym or some other specials? There might be at least one class that is at the same time.

Of course, there are other things to think about when determining whether a skip is the right thing to do. I recommend filling out the Iowa Acceleration Scales.

My DS7 is a bit younger, but he skipped 1st and then we transferred him to a different school mid-year. He was reluctant to transfer, but it has all worked out fine. We still see his friends from kindergarten, and any friends he's wanted to see from the first half of this year. We just told him we needed to find the best school fit for him, and although we showed compassion for his concerns, we put it in terms of this being a decision his parents needed to make.

Good luck!

I think that it is probably not that they 'won't' meet his needs in the agepeer classroom, but that it isn't possible. Even if you had a super teacher (and who can rely on that year after year?) who could totally tailor the curriculum to your child year after year, what about having a group of learning peers? The best teacher in the world can't create that if the child is unusally more beyond the agemates.

Do you have IQ and achievement test results to give you an idea of LOG (Level of giftedness) - that might help you weigh and balance.

If I'm reading the quote above correctly, you son is acting up and making noise while he is bored, yes? If this is true, then you can not leave the decision in his hands. His lips say 'No, No' but his eyes say 'Yes, Yes.'

Some helpful tips to twist the arms of reluctant kids who truely are high LOG, and just don't have a choice:
1) Blame the principle "Honey it's not up to me"
2) Blame reality "Honey, I'm sorry but that's just the way it is."
3) Guided imagry of all the homework that will be missed by skipping the grade.
4) Set up a few playdates with likely boys in the recieving class
5) Sit and observe the recieving teacher - it will help you be enthusiastic.

Best Wishes,
Grinity

This one is always a winner in our house.

LOL.

That one's bound to be a winner any way you examine it.

Good one! Not sure why, but this reminds me of a conversation with my DS when he was in kindy complaining about school being boring, before the grade skip. He complained daily about going to school. I finally said to him that we would do our best to get him through school as quickly as possible. Fast forward to the second month after the grade skip to second, when we were still worried about whether it was a good idea. I asked DS what he thought of the skip, and he said it was great, and he thought he'd probably skip 3rd too....

I would find out WHY, in detail he is opposed to the skip. We skipped 3rd last year and went into 4th and it's been great! My child wasn't opposed though, and as a pp mentioned, if the child is against it, almost all bets are off as far as the IAS goes.

I would sit down and talk about the cons of it and push the pros and see if you can't shed some light on those fears (whether he denies he has them or not, they are probably there.)

I agree with bh - If you can figure out why your DS is so against the skip, you can better prepare some arguments to convince him why it's a good idea, or you can find things to help make the downsides more palatable. Of course this is unknown territory for your DS, and he's going to be scared of some things. Talking it all out may help change his mind.

I still wonder why the IAS says all bets are off when the child is against the skip. I would give more value to this with an older child, but in early elementary, I would lean toward the parent and school staff knowing what's best.

I thought of another factor that helped convince our son that skipping wouldn't be so bad. He didn't want to lose his friends and doesn't like being in a situation with a bunch of strangers. As it turned out, our school had 10 classes of Kindergartners moving to 1st, so it was likely he'd be in a room full of strangers anyway. And we made lots of playdates with his friends (and still do).

Here in FL they mix up the classes every single year. There are 7 K classes and 18 kids in each class...there are 7 first grade classes. Chances are you won't be in class the following year with more that 2 or 3 kids from your class the year before (and the kids withdraw and move around a lot, very mobile area).

There are three exceptions...if you are in the class that has the ESOL support teacher team teaching and you need it again the next year you might have classmates from year to year. If you are in the class with ESE support teacher team teaching and you don't get dismissed you probably will have classmates year to year. And if you are assigned to the teacher certified as a gifted instructor for that grade, you probably get the same classmates. But just an average kid gets mixed up year to year.