Keet, nothing in what you described rules out Asperger's, and a lot of it sounds like my DS8 (Asperger's). Perhaps you should pursue testing? The profound anxiety that comes with AS can be hard to distinguish from depression. Did you treat the depression?
He does very well in school academically, but he sometimes gets very upset and shuts down, cries, and/or yells. He has a hard time when confronted with something he�s done wrong, when he thinks he�s being treated unfairly, and when people tease him.
That is all pretty typical bright-asperger-kid stuff.
We tried a social skills/counseling group, but he was very annoyed by the behaviors (repetitive talking, making noises) of some of the other kids (mostly Aspies) in the group.
It is very often the case that kids with social skills issues can't get along well-- none of them has the social skills to compensate for the missteps of the others.
I think he needs more socialization or maybe a social skills group where he�s the lowest-functioning. He enjoys being around other kids most of the time.
If he has Asperger's (hypothetically) he will need more than exposure to social situations; he will also need direct instruction and guided practice on handling those situations.
It's great that he is sociable. Mine is like that too. I would say he adores being around people, but doesn't do it well (makes a lot of mistakes), and after a few hours of it he does best if he leaves to recharge.
Do you have any suggestions to work on social skills? I�d like him to realize sooner when he�s getting upset so he can remove himself from the situation to avoid a meltdown. There are other things that would be helpful, like making friends, ignoring annoyances, etc. if you have suggestions there.
For tolerating others and ignoring annoyances, we used a mix of strategies, including cognitive-behavior therapy and "social thinking" (Michelle Garcia Winner's curriculum). We also practiced "not getting your way" and negotiating a lot. Most of these skills are best taught one on one, then practiced in small situations (play dates). Only with some experience is it easy to generalize them to things like scouts.
For noticing his own level of irritation, there's the Alert System ("How does your engine run?"-- I got it through interlibrary loan.) I didn't use it completely, but I borrowed things from it. The CBT helped with this, too.
Having a diagnosis could get you more targeted treatment, social support at school of other kinds than social skills group, and entry into appropriate social skills groups, although these are always hard to find. DS did much better after he learned he had AS-- it helped him understand his own odd reactions to things.
HTH,
DeeDee
