Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy This is an issue or just a period of adjustment?

Something needs to change and it needs to change now.
Let's look at the score card -
1) Is she learning? No
2) Is she enjoying her classmates? No
3) Is she exposed to a bullying teacher, and another adult who is mimicing a bullying teacher? Yes
4) Is she falling appart emotionally at home in a way that is breaking your family peace? Yes

(BTW - you DH might well have too high expectations, or he might be reacting to the situation appropriately - you have a little girl on your hands who is much more stressed and acting out than she was just a few months ago.)
5) Does the school 'get' your DD and support you as a parent? No (chapter books comments)
6) Is there anything in either classroom 1st or 2nd that is likely to be learning-friendly for your daughter? No
7) Is this likely to improve anytime soon? No

You have 3 choices:
1) a small private school with a philosophy that everyone learns at their readiness level and practice in applying this philosophy, if you can find one or start one.
2) Ask the school to allow DD to visit 3rd grade and spend 6 weeks there to see if the social part clicks. If that doesn't work try 4th grade for 6 weeks. Keep going until either social or academic clicks. It won't have to be perfect for your DD to have a less toxic environment.
3) Homeschool, individually or with a coop - if you can find one or start one.

Practice saying: 'Oh, I think she's too young for school at the level she needs, we'll try again next year.' in a calm and assured voice.

I have left out a step if you aren't ready to believe me when I say, 1/2 is over for your child.
Possible middle step: Make a portfolio of your DD's learning readiness level:
1) Figure out what level of reading system our school uses to judge reading books. Lexile?
2) Gather up 5 or 10 favorite current books your DD is reading, then google their titles with the name of the system, as in 'Little House on the Praire Lexile'
3) Make a chart - then find out what grade has a 'top reading group' that is reading books at her level. That's where she needs to be for the reading segment of school.
4) Math - Download some placement tests and get her to take them while you sit next to her. If possible, have her explain what she is doing to assure yourself that she understands. Have her write the answers in her own sweet handwriting to assure the teachers that she did it herself.
It's ok to use a Saxon or whatever other system your school uses, but not necessary.
5) Bring the evidence to school and insist (cry if necessary) that at math time, she goes to the room where the stuff she is ready to learn is being taught. Don't worry about how long or short a time before she bolts ahead. Don't worry about how many kids or how old the kids will be, because with the social part it's a spin of the wheel - kids really do rise to the occasion if they are in an ok place academically, at least much of the time. If it doesn't work out, there is always homeschooling.

Finally - for the behavior issues, time for my favorite recommendation - the only parenting book that I've every found to understand my kid and my family:

Get the workbook and ask any questions you need here.
Love and More Love,
Grinity