Winter -
It is hard to know what is going on. I would send a thank you note to the teacher thanking her for sending home homework that is more appropriate. I would also ask what test was used for the gifted program - the group intelligence tests, for example, start to fall apart with gifted kids. I know of course that this makes no sense, but in many schools this is they system in place.
So - number 1 - write the thankyou note.
2) Find out what test was used. Let us know.
3) If there is a Gifted Coordinator, ask her what the program is like, how often it meets and what the content of the program is like. Let us know.
4) Find out if there are any alternative routes into the gifted program, such as private testing.
Keep going with the advanced curriculum at home, and say more about his 'reading difficulties' - is he reading the Hobbit? Has he tried reading Earagon or the Harry Potter books?
If you want to 'pinpoint and foster' the qualities you see in him - either keep doing it at home which works well for some kids, or hire a private tester - one who gets gifted kids, and see if there are 2E issues at play. So much depends on the child's personality!
When you say
He has earned about a 99% average for the entire school year despite the temperament issues I've already addressed.
what - exactly - are you referring to?
It sounds like your family has been through a lot the last few years, and I want to send some love to you for doing the best you could during those trying times. It isn't easy.
Love and More Love,
Grinity
