My son will be 10 next week. :-) My approach is to see what he is interested in doing - the things he chooses on his own. When he is engaged in an activity (alone, not with friends) I might just come in and sit. Very often he starts talking about what he is doing and sometimes it leads to other discussions or not. Sometimes it leads to him asking if I want to try, which may or may not lead to a new family obsession for a few weeks (think pokemon or archery). My belief is that just spending time is the important thing and by observing or interacting with him while he is doing something he likes he feels my interest in him and desire to spend time with him.
This is so important and great to do...just spending time with them enjoying what they are into.
You already got a lot of great suggestions so don't have much to add to them except science experiments. You can get tons of books out of the library and do them together. It will be learning for the both of you. If he is into science there are several other things you could do involving building contraptions together, and other experiments. I also love the board game ideas. DS6 is really into strategy games. He is also really into Wii games which could be fun to do together if he is into that. Gets some energy out too in the winter when there is less to do. We may try geocaching this year. We are really into hiking and like camping too. But sometimes, DS enjoys something and I just come and share an interest and hang on for the ride of something he is working on.
